


Jo's Biggest Challenge, Part VI

by PennineLass



Series: Jo's Biggest Challenge [8]
Category: Chalet School - Elinor M. Brent-Dyer
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-24
Updated: 2020-05-24
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:00:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 32
Words: 50,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24360226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PennineLass/pseuds/PennineLass
Summary: Jo is enjoying having Jack back at home but war rears its ugly head once more.
Series: Jo's Biggest Challenge [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1752544





	1. Chapter 1

It was early July and Jo was sitting in the garden of her cottage, enjoying the afternoon sun. Her husband was at work and Robin and Daisy were at school. She leaned back in her chair and closed her eyes. She was much improved in her health, nowadays, though she still had to take care of herself. The past year and a half had seen her Sanatorium appointments lessening in number as she began to win the battle with tuberculosis, which she had been fighting since she was eighteen. Jack had been temporarily released from the army to work at the Sanatorium and she had finally had the chance to settle into married life with him, sharing the highs and lows as a couple at last. Their family was complete with Robin and Daisy continuing to live with them, although Jem and Madge had offered to have them back to live at the Round House once Jack was home.

Jo dozed in the sunshine, blissfully unaware of the car pulling up outside the cottage. She was woken by someone noisily setting up another chair next to her. Opening her eyes, she saw Jack smiling at her as he sat down.

“Oh, you’re awake! How about you go and make us a cup of tea?”

“I wasn’t, until you just made that racket at the side of me. Why don’t you go and make it?”

“I’ve just got home, and I’m pretty certain it’s your turn.” Jo sighed and got up to go to the kitchen. She felt unaccountably tired this afternoon. She had no idea why, since she hadn’t done anything strenuous the previous day or that morning. She splashed her face with cold water as she waited for the kettle to boil, hoping it would wake her up a little.

When she took the tray out to the garden, she found that Jack had set the table up and placed it between the chairs. Jo put the tray down before sitting back down to pour. Jack accepted his cup and leaned back in his chair, content to enjoy the afternoon sun in silence. Jo closed her eyes again; unable to keep them open any longer. 

Half an hour later, she was disturbed once more. This time it was Robin and Daisy arriving home from school. They came out into the garden chattering away about their day and dropped onto the grass nearby. Supressing another sigh, Jo made the effort to join in their chatter. Jack looked askance at her, but she ignored him, instead asking Daisy what she had been doing.

It was late before Jack had chance to tackle Jo. She had managed to avoid being alone with him all evening but, now, Daisy was in bed and Robin had just departed.

“Jo? Do you feel alright?”

“I’m fine, Jack.”

“You seemed tired this afternoon. Are you sure?”

“Yes. I think I must have overdone it in the past few days and it’s caught up with me.”

“Maybe a few early nights might help.” Jack came over to the sofa to sit with her. He was worried, but could see she wasn’t willing to talk yet. He resolved to keep a close eye on her and make sure she didn’t overdo it for the next few days. He pulled her into a hug and Jo laid her head on his chest, glad for his comforting arms around her.

“Let’s go to bed shall we? You go on up and I’ll make us a drink each.”

“Okay.” Jo was happy to fall in with this suggestion and she was soon tucked up in bed. By the time Jack arrived with a steaming mug in each hand she was almost asleep. She roused up enough to take her drink from him, but he saw how quickly she dropped back off again. 

Jack watched her sleep in the soft glow of the bedside lamp and wondered what she was hiding. He knew from experience that she would only tell him when she was ready, or if her hand was forced. He didn’t want to do that, yet, since he knew she would resent the intrusion. Even now, after three years of marriage, she still sometimes found it hard to tell him things. He turned the lamp off and lay down behind her, laying his arm protectively across her waist.

When Jack woke the next morning, Jo was still sleeping. He slipped out of bed and dressed quietly. As he came out onto the landing, he was just in time to hush Robin and Daisy.

“Try to be quiet, girls. Jo is still asleep and I’d like her to stay that way for now.” Daisy nodded and headed to the bathroom.

“Is she alright?” Robin looked concerned, and Jack was quick to reassure her.

“She’s just tired, Robin. I think a good sleep will help.” Robin seemed satisfied with this explanation and Jack continued on his way downstairs to the kitchen. He was working a late shift today, so he decided to make sure Jo rested as much as she could this morning. Once he had waved Robin and Daisy off, he went to check on Jo and found she was still sleeping soundly. He crept back out and went downstairs to the lounge. It was a cool morning, so he stayed indoors and listened to the radio.

It was mid-morning by the time Jo finally woke. She stretched and glanced at the clock, gasping when she saw the time. Just as she was about to climb out of bed, Jack appeared in the bedroom with a cup of tea for her.

“Morning, Jo.”

“Why did you let me sleep for so long?”

“You needed it.”

“I have things to do though.”

“They can wait. You need to rest, occasionally; otherwise you’ll be going backwards again.” Jack sat down next to her and looked down at her pale face. “Stay in bed this morning, and make the most of the quietness.”

“But, Jack…” He leaned down and kissed her.

“No arguments, please. I’ll go and get you something to eat, while you drink that tea.” He left Jo alone again. She rolled onto her side and stared at the curtains, reluctantly acknowledging that Jack was right and she had needed the sleep. Sitting up, she drank the tea he had brought up for her and looked for her book, which appeared to be missing. Jack came back in with some toast for her, just as she flung the covers back to go searching.

“What’s wrong, Jo?”

“I can’t find my book. Have you seen it?”

“It might be in the lounge. Here, you eat this and I’ll go and look.” He handed her the plate and headed back downstairs in search of her book. Finding three different ones containing bookmarks, he took them all upstairs to her. “Is it one of these?”

Jo looked at them and nodded.

“Which?”

“All of them.”

“All of them? Just how many have you got on the go at the moment?”

“About four. I must have taken the one I was reading up here downstairs, yesterday.”

“How on earth do you manage to read them all at the same time? I’d get confused if I did that.”

“Oh, it’s easy. It saves me having to look for a book if I have them in each room, as well.” She picked the top one off the pile he had brought up and put it back on the bedside cabinet. Jack sat down on the bed next to her whilst she finished her breakfast. He was secretly pleased to see that she still had her appetite, despite the tiredness. He said nothing about it to Jo, preferring to just observe and watch for any symptoms without causing her to worry. Since he had been back home, she hadn’t had any recurrences of the worry cycle she had gone through when Robin had been ill. He knew that it would be all too easy to tip her into one, if he wasn’t careful, though. Her temperament and imagination were finely balanced and he had seen what happened to her when they were upset on a number of occasions. 

When she had finished eating, Jack took the plate from her and she settled down to read for a while. Soon, the words blurred on the page and Jo was sleeping again. Jack found her when he checked on her not long after and carefully laid her down properly, before lying next to her.

“Oh, Jo, I wish you’d talk to me and tell me what’s wrong,” he muttered to himself. “I hate not being able to do anything for you, when something is clearly not right. This is what happened the first time you were ill, on the Sonnalpe. I don’t think I could watch you go through it all again.”


	2. Chapter 2

For the next week, Jack continued to watch Jo, discreetly. He was dismayed to see her appetite diminishing. Careful questioning of Robin and Daisy gave him the information that she had been skipping breakfast as well. He was off-duty for a couple of days after his next shift and he resolved to speak to her. He could sit back and watch no longer.

The next morning, blissfully unaware of what was to happen, Jo was up early to make sure Robin and Daisy were ready for school. She managed to drink a cup of tea and see them off, and then felt suddenly sick. She made it to the bathroom just in time. Jack was in the bedroom when he heard the running footsteps and the bathroom door slam violently. He quickly finished dressing and went along to see what was wrong. Tentatively, he knocked on the door, before poking his head around. Jo was sitting on the floor next to the toilet, her head in her hands and trying not to give in to the tears threatening to overwhelm her. He came in and crouched down in front of her.

“Jo? What’s wrong?” No answer. He sat beside her and pulled her into his arms, kissing the top of her head as he did so. The gentleness of his gesture was too much for her, and she finally let herself go, crying into his shirt. Jack just held her close, recognising that she needed his comfort more than anything. When she finally stopped, he tried again.

“Is that the first time you’ve been sick?” Jo just shook her head. “When?”

“Every morning for the past week.” Jack gently asked her a few more questions until he had all the details he needed. He wondered if she had worked out what was happening.

“Well, at least I can stop worrying quite so much.” Jo pulled back to look at him, quizzically.

“What do you mean?”

“I’ve worked out what’s wrong with you.” He smiled.

“What?” He saw she was losing her patience and relented.

“You’re pregnant!”

“I’m what?” She looked at him, incredulously.

“You’re pregnant. We’re going to have a baby.”

“Oh!” Jo lapsed into silence as she digested this piece of information. “Are you sure?”

“From what you’ve told me and your symptoms, I’m pretty sure.”

“What happens, now?”

“I think you’re probably quite early on in the pregnancy, but you should see a specialist. They’ll know more than I do. I’ll make you an appointment when I’m next in work.” Jack felt Jo shaking and remembered that they were still sitting on the bathroom floor. He stood up and gently helped Jo back to her feet. With his arm around her, he took her to the bedroom and made her lay down on the bed. 

“Have you eaten, yet?” Jo shuddered at the mention of food and Jack suppressed a smile. Now he knew what the problem was, he realised that morning sickness was the reason for her lack of appetite. “You need to try and eat something.” He left the room and soon returned with a couple of biscuits for her to try. She managed the first one, but shook her head at the second. He didn’t push her.

Jack lay down on the bed next to Jo and she rolled over to him, resting her head on his chest. He wrapped his arm around her, holding her close. He could tell she was a little dazed by the news and he wanted to be able to reassure her. He was worried for her, too. They hadn’t expected to have a family of their own and had been content to count Robin and Daisy as theirs. Now, Jo was expecting and Jack realised that she would need a lot of support. Her moods would be erratic as her body adjusted to the changes and she would need constant watching to ensure she didn’t overdo anything. He recognised that Jem would have to be told before they were ready to tell anyone, simply because of her medical history. He needed to talk to her about it properly but, when he looked down at Jo, he saw she had dozed off. Now wasn’t the time.

It was an hour later when Jo woke, again. She was feeling a lot better and actually felt hungry. She made a slight movement and Jack moved his arm, allowing her to roll over. He smiled at her as she sat up.

“How are you feeling?”

“Hungry.” Jack smiled at this comment.

“In that case, let’s go and see what we can find in the kitchen.” He stood up and headed for the door, leaving Jo to follow in her own time. 

When Jo arrived in the kitchen, she found Jack cooking an omelette. He smiled at her and she sat down at the table in response to his gesture. She leaned her elbows on the table and rested her head in her hands. She was still feeling a little dazed, but not totally surprised by the news that she was going to have a baby. Jack placed the omelette in front of her and sat down opposite her.

“Thank you.”

“It’s not the greatest, I’m afraid, but it’s better than nothing”

“It’s fine.” Jo ate slowly and Jack was rewarded with seeing her clear her plate. 

“What do you want to do for the rest of the day?” he asked as he removed the plate.

“I don’t know. I could do with some fresh air, though. I need to clear my head and straighten my mind out.” 

“Do you want me to come with you?”

“I think I’d rather go alone.”

“Just take your time and don’t overdo it.”

“I won’t.” Jo stood up and went to find out her coat and shoes. Jack waved her off from the door, understanding her need for solitude. He went back into the lounge and tried to read his book, but he couldn’t settle. He found himself pacing the length of the room as he waited for her to return. Realising this, he went outside and began digging the garden in the hope that some physical activity would stop him from worrying. When she still hadn’t returned an hour later, he wondered if he should go looking for her. He went and cleaned himself up, before setting off after her. He had a fair idea of where she might be and decided to check there first.

As he approached the sheltered corner at the edge of a wheat field, he spotted a flash of her skirt. She was lying down on her coat, with her eyes closed. He wondered if she had fallen asleep, but as he watched he realised she wasn’t. He stood still, unsure about whether he should go over, or turn back. He didn’t want to intrude on her thoughts, but he also didn’t want to leave her alone.

Jo had the feeling that she was being watched and opened her eyes. She saw Jack standing, hesitantly, nearby. She glanced at her watch and discovered that she had been gone far longer than she had intended. She knew he had come searching for her, but was unsure if she was ready for his company, yet. She struggled on, trying to order her thoughts and realised that he was the person she should be discussing them with. She was going round in circles by herself and that never ended well, as she knew from experience. She sat up and waved to him.

Jack saw her wave, and came across, relieved that he hadn’t intruded on her. He dropped onto the grass beside her and lay down to examine the clouds. Jo did the same. They lay in silence for a while, Jack content to let Jo continue with her thoughts.

“Jack?”

“Mmm?”

“What happens, now?”

“How do you mean?”

“I mean me. Being pregnant and my illness.” Jack was silent as he thought how to answer this question.

“Not a lot will change with regards to your treatment for tuberculosis. You’ll still have to continue with pneumothorax, though that is only every six months now, anyway. The radiographer can use a lead covering to protect the baby from exposure when you have your X-rays.”

“What else?”

“You’re going to have to rest a lot more, especially as the baby grows and starts to push on your chest. You’ll have to stop doing anything strenuous, including walking when you get further through the pregnancy.”

“I need to walk, though. How am I going to clear my head if I can’t go walking?”

“We’ll have to find another way for you to deal with it. You’ll not feel like walking anyway once you’re six months plus.”

“Do we have to tell anyone, yet?”

“We’ll have to tell Jem. As the doctor in charge of your treatment, he needs to be told, I’m afraid.”

“I don’t know if I can go through with this. I don’t know if I’m ready.”

“No one is ready for it, Jo. Just ask your sister. I’m sure she felt the same with each of her pregnancies. You’re allowed to be worried about it all. It’s a new experience and one that is different each time it happens. I’m here as well and I want to help you get through it.”

“When do we have to tell Jem?”

“As soon as possible. He needs to be aware of it so he can ensure it’s on your notes before your next X-rays and you have them in the next couple of weeks.”

“I don’t think I can tell him.”

“I’ll tell him, if you like. Do you want Madge to know as well? He’s bound to ask if he can tell her.” Jo nodded. She felt relieved that Jack was with her to share the burden and that he had come looking for her. She fell silent again, re-formulating her thoughts and the information Jack had given her. Jack just waited patiently. When she still hadn’t spoken fifteen minutes later, he rolled over to look at her, propping himself up on one elbow. Jo was sleeping. He sighed. Though this corner of the field was sheltered, it was still none too warm and Jo had been here a long time. He was reluctant to disturb her, when she so obviously needed to sleep, but he knew she really ought to be somewhere warmer. He shook her, gently.

“Jo? Come on, let’s get you home.” Jo reluctantly opened her eyes and Jack saw confusion reflected in them. “You fell asleep here in the field and it’s none too warm.” Jo sighed and dragged herself back to full consciousness. Jack stood up and pulled Jo to her feet, before picking her coat up off the ground and brushing it down for her. He then held out his arm to Jo who took it and they strolled back towards home.


	3. Chapter 3

When Jack went back to work, the first thing he did was to ring the maternity department at the Sanatorium to book an appointment for Jo to see the consultant there. Then he went in search of Jem. He knew his brother-in-law was about, having seen his car when he had parked his own. He was discovered in his office writing notes. He looked up with a smile when Jack entered.

“Hello! What can I do for you?” Jem asked as he motioned Jack to sit down.

“I have a bit of news. About Jo.”

“What’s she been doing to herself now?”

“She’s pregnant.” Jack sat back to watch his bombshell. Jem stared at him for a few moments as the words sank in, before standing up to congratulate him.

“Well, I must say I wasn’t expecting that! Congratulations! Does anyone else know?”

“No. I only found out myself the other day.” 

“How far along is she?”

“I’d guess at about eight weeks along, but I’ve booked her in to see the consultant since he’ll have more idea about that.”

“How is she taking it?”

“She’s a little dazed at the moment.”

“I’m not surprised. What about her health, though? I assume that’s why you’ve told me so quickly.”

“Yes. She’s been unaccountably tired for a couple of weeks and has morning sickness, which is affecting her appetite. Otherwise, she seems healthy enough.”

“She’s got an appointment next week hasn’t she? I’ll speak to her then about it. Am I allowed to pass the news onto Madge?”

“Yes, but Jo doesn’t want anyone else told, yet. It’s come as a bit of a shock to her and she’s still adjusting to it all.”

“I’ll warn Madge to say nothing, though she might be able to help Jo more than we can, having gone through it all herself.”

“I suggested she talk to her sister, but she seems very reluctant at the moment. Once she’s had the chance to properly digest the news, she may be more forthcoming. She didn’t even want to tell you herself.”

“That’s because she still sees me as the authority figure I was to her when we were in Austria. I suppose it’s going to take her a long time to change that view. Madge brought her up, don’t forget, and between us and Dick, we’re the only parents she’s ever known.”

“That’s true. I just hope she realises that we’re all here to support her through it all.”

“I’ll make sure she knows. While you’re here, you might as well have these files.” Jem handed some patient files across the desk and the talk moved onto other things. As he was about to leave, Jem spoke again.

“Pass my congratulations onto Jo, won’t you? Tell her I’ll see her when she comes here next week.”

“I will do.” Jack left at that and returned to his own office to continue his shift. 

*****

The following Wednesday, Jo had her appointment at the Sanatorium. The nurse on reception directed her to go to Jem’s office, before she had her X-rays and pneumothorax. She sat down in the waiting area and pulled out a book, since she didn’t expect to be called immediately. She was soon engrossed and didn’t hear her name called until the secretary came over to her. Apologising, Jo hastily put her book away and scrambled to her feet. Jem smiled as she entered his office and came round the desk to greet her.

“Hello, Jo. I hear congratulations are in order.” Jo just smiled faintly as she allowed Jem to lead her over to the comfortable chairs. Sitting down with her, he noted she was much paler than the last time he had seen her and that she looked a little thinner.

“How are you?”

“I’m alright.”

“You look tired. Are you managing to eat properly?”

“Not really. I can’t face anything until lunch time.”

“The morning sickness will wear off, eventually. You should try to eat though. Also, try and rest as much as you can.”

“I know.”

“Have you seen the specialist, yet?”

“Yes. I saw him on Monday.”

“Did he give you an idea when it’s due?”

“Mid February.”

“Good. I’ve had to put the pregnancy on your notes so that the radiographer knows to cover you properly when you have your X-rays. I want you to stay in bed and rest tomorrow as well.”

“But I don’t, normally.”

“I know, but you have to take care of yourself, now.” Jo looked rebellious and Jem sought to calm her. “Jo, your body is going through a lot of changes at the moment. Any stress that you go through affects the baby as well. Today is a stressful day for you, so it will be the same for the baby. That’s why I want you to rest properly tomorrow, as well.” 

Jem saw she was close to tears as she digested this information. Having spoken to Jack earlier, he knew she wasn’t her normal self at the moment and he had no wish to upset her fragile equilibrium any further. He was concerned that Jo would struggle to cope with a pregnancy on top of everything else, especially if Jack was recalled to the military. He couldn’t dictate her life for her, though, and he just hoped Jack was prepared for the difficulties which lay ahead.

“Don’t think you have to go through it all alone, Jo. You’ve got all of us to help support you. Now, go and have your treatment and X-rays. I’ll get Jack to take you home straight afterwards, instead of you having to wait around until he’s finished.” He watched her depart and turned to the telephone to speak to Jack.

Thus, when Jo was finally wheeled into the reception area, Jack was waiting for her. He saw immediately that she should spend at least the next day in bed. He speedily got her into the car and drove them home. Once he’d tucked her up in bed, he lay down with her until she slept, sensing that she needed some comfort. He checked on her regularly throughout the evening, but she didn’t wake.

When Jo woke the next morning, she was alone. She was aching all over and she realised the wisdom of Jem’s words the previous day. Just as she was considering what she should do, Jack came into the room. Seeing she was awake, he came over and sat carefully on the bed.

“How are you feeling?”

“Like I’ve been hit by a bus.”

“I can’t give you much for it and you’ll need to eat something first, I’m afraid.” Jo closed her eyes and shuddered at the thought of food. “I’ll get some toast and you can try that.” He bent down and kissed her head before going to make the toast. When he returned, Jo was lying on her good side and had her back to him. He came around the bed and placed a drink and the toast on the bedside cabinet. Crouching down, he saw tearstains on her face.

“Let me help you to sit up, Jo, and then you can try to eat something.” He helped her manoeuvre into a sitting position and pushed some pillows behind her, before passing her the plate. She managed a few mouthfuls, but that was all. Jack tried to persuade her to eat some more so he could give her something to dull the ache, but she shook her head, the tears threatening again. He sat next to her, placing an arm around her and she laid her head on his shoulder as she quietly wept. She had no idea why she was crying, but she couldn’t stop. Jack just held her, understanding that she was feeling a little depressed, though there was little he could do to alleviate it. They stayed in the same position for a long time, until Jo eventually lifted her head to look at him.

“Th-thanks, Jack.”

“I’m glad I could help. I know it’s hard at the moment, but it will improve.”

“Do you think so?”

“Yes, I do. Talk to your sister. She knows what you’re going through.”

“I’m not sure I can, yet. It still feels strange to me.”

“It surprised me, too. We’re going to have a child, though and we should thank God that we’ve been blessed with such a gift.”

“I know, and I do. I just wish I didn’t feel so ill with it all.”

“It’s normal to feel ill at this stage in pregnancy. That’s why you should stay in bed and rest today. Yesterday’s appointment has used up what little energy you have at the moment and you need time recover from it. At least you won’t have to go through pneumothorax again until just before the baby is born.”

“I suppose so.”

“Do you think you can eat anything else? Then you can have something to help with the pain.” Jo picked her plate back up and managed to finish the toast and drink some tea. Jack smiled at her.

“I’ll go and fetch a painkiller for you.” He disappeared, returning a minute later with the tablet. Jo took it, thankfully, and then tried to pull the pillows out from behind her. Jack helped and she lay back down.

“Stay with me, please.”

“Of course. I’ll just fetch my book first.” He wasn’t long before he joined her on the bed. Kissing her, he made himself comfortable and stroked her hair off her face, tucking it gently behind her ear. She smiled sleepily at him, as she dozed back off.


	4. Chapter 4

A week later, Jo was sitting in the lounge when she heard the letterbox rattle. She was engrossed in her book, so paid little heed to it, thinking she would pick the post up next time she got up from the chair. It was an hour later when she finally stood up to go and make herself a drink. She picked up the post to sort as she went past, placing it on the kitchen table whilst she turned the kettle on. Sitting down at the table, she began to sort through it, making piles for each of them, when a letter addressed to Jack caught her eye. She recognised the envelope as being the same as when he had been called up the first time. With shaking hands, she placed it on his pile and tried to continue sorting, but was incapable of doing so. She couldn’t remove the sight of that envelope from her mind. Her imagination began to run away with her and she knew she needed to get out of the house. The whistling of the kettle pierced her thoughts and she automatically turned the ring off below it. She quickly put on her shoes and coat and set off towards the fields, not caring about anything other than getting the image of that envelope out of her head.

When Jack returned home from work three hours later, he found the house to be empty. A cursory look in each room and round the garden, confirmed his fears. Jo was missing and he had no idea why. Going into the kitchen to see if she had left him a note on the table, he saw the half-sorted post and on top of one pile was the fateful envelope. Recognising it, Jack snatched it up and tore it open to see his recall papers. He dropped them onto the table and grabbed his coat. He had to find Jo.

Setting off towards the wheat field, he hoped she was all right. Sometimes, he wished he could just shake her irrationality out of her, but he knew it was impossible. He couldn’t hide her from everything in life. He just wished that he could find some way of helping her to cope. As he turned into the field, he saw her huddled in the edge, her head on her knees. He crossed to the corner and knelt beside her, enveloping her in his arms. He could feel her shaking. 

“Jo? How long have you been here?”

A slight shrug of her shoulders was the only reply. Jack sighed. It was a cool day for July, and he knew she had no reserve strength to cope with any more illness. 

“Let’s go home. It’s not warm enough for you to stay here any longer.” He pulled back and waited for Jo to lift her head. When she finally did so, he could see the worry already etched across her face, as well as the tearstains. Inwardly cursing the war for taking him away from her when she was vulnerable and in need of his love and assurance, he helped her to her feet and, with his arm firmly around her waist, he turned them in the direction of home.

He was practically carrying Jo when they reached their cottage. He took her straight upstairs and tucked her up in bed, along with a couple of hot water bottles to be on the safe side. When he returned with a cup of tea, he found her curled up, but awake. When she saw him enter, a steaming mug of tea in each hand, fresh tears sprang to her eyes. Jack put the mugs down and lay down on the bed with her. He pulled her into his arms and she curled into him, laying her head on his chest. They lay quietly for a short while, Jo drawing comfort from him. Jack broke the silence.

“I take it you worked out what that letter was, Jo?" She nodded.

“How long?”

“I have two weeks before I have to go.”

“Where are they sending you?”

“Somewhere to the East. That’s all I know.” He felt Jo shaking as her tears fell, soaking his shirt. He stroked her hair off her face. “Please don’t cry, Jo. It isn’t helping you or the baby.” He continued as Jo made a valiant effort to check her sobs. “We knew it might happen, especially after the attack on Pearl Harbor. We have to put on a brave face and deal with the separation, again. I know it’s not going to be easy for you, but Madge and Jem are still here to support you, and there’s Robin and Daisy, too. They all want to help you if you’ll let them. I need to be able to go without worrying that you’re ill. You’re carrying our child, now, and you and our baby are the two most important people in my world.”

“You can’t expect me to just not worry, Jack. You’re going back to war and I don’t know how long it might be until I next see you. Or even if I’ll see you again. You’re my world, too, you know. When you aren’t here, it’s as if part of me is missing.”

“I know. I wish I didn’t have to go, but we both know it’s necessary.” Jo drew in a shuddering breath and Jack held her close, listening as she attempted to bring her breathing back under control. He could tell that she’d had enough, both physically and mentally. He also suspected that she hadn’t eaten all day, either.

“When did you last eat something?”

“I had a biscuit about ten o’clock, I think.”

“You should eat something. I’ll go and see what I can rustle up.” Jo reluctantly rolled back to her own side of the bed and allowed Jack to get up. He bent over to kiss her before departing to the kitchen. When she was alone, Jo curled back into a ball and closed her eyes, forlornly hoping the thoughts swirling around her head would go away. 

She was still in the same position when Jack came back with a sandwich for her. He looked down at her, concern on his face.

“Sit up, Jo and eat this.” 

“I’m not hungry, Jack.”

“You have to eat, Jo. The baby needs the food as much as you do.” Jo opened her eyes and rolled onto her back. She saw that Jack wasn’t intending to move until he’d seen her eat something. Sighing, she sat up and took the plate from him. “Eat all of it, as well. I want to see an empty plate when I come back.” He departed to make them another drink each and to speak to Robin and Daisy who had just arrived home. When he returned, Jo had managed to choke down half of the sandwich, but couldn’t face any more. Jack just moved the plate to the side without comment before sitting back on the bed with her.

“Tell me what’s worrying you.”

“I’m not sure I can.”

“Please don’t push me away. I can’t help you if you won’t tell me”

“I’m scared of what’s going to happen to you. What if you’re captured? Or hurt? Or even killed?”

“Jo, we have to trust in God to take care of me. I hope it doesn’t happen but, if it should, you still have family to help take care of you. You’re borrowing trouble, thinking like this.”

“I can’t stop them, though. They’re crowding into my head and pushing everything else out.”

“You need to try and think of positive things. If Jem finds you in this state when I’ve gone, you know what’ll happen. He won’t hesitate, either. He wants you to be well and fit enough to have our baby. You won’t just be re-admitted; you’ll be on complete bedrest again, until he thinks you’re well enough to cope.” The look of pure horror in Jo’s eyes as he said this made Jack wonder if he’d gone too far, but, he knew he had to pull her out of the cycle of thoughts going through her head. He needed Jo to grasp the implications of what might happen if she continued to think the worst. He knew he would never be able to send her back to the Sanatorium, unless he had no other choice, nor did he want to be put in that position. He felt safe in his assumption that Jem would have no such qualms.

“Oh, Jack! No!”

“Shhh, darling. I know it’s harsh of me to say that, but you need to be aware of what could happen if you continue in this current train of thought. You need to think of good things to keep you going, and maybe pick your writing back up to occupy the time again. You’ve barely done any since I came back home. It’s been therapeutic for you before, so it might work again.”

“Maybe.” Jo sounded dubious.

“Look how it helped with those nightmares. You only get them very rarely, now. You even cope with air raids without much problem. Writing seems to occupy your mind and gives you the chance to work through the problems.”

“That’s true, I suppose. Do you think it would work, though?”

“I’m sure it will. Look, stay in bed for the rest of today, and tomorrow, once the sickness has passed, go and have a try. If it works, all’s well and good. If not, then we’ll have to see if we can find another solution.”

“Okay.” Jo yawned, tiredness catching up with her, now Jack had offered her a solution and comfort.

“Lie down and get some sleep. I’ll bring you some dinner up when it’s ready.” He pulled the pillows out from behind her and she snuggled back under the covers. Jack kissed her and lay down next to her until she should doze off.


	5. Chapter 5

A week later, Jo discovered Jack had been right in his prediction that she would find writing therapeutic. She had entered the study late the next morning and just sat at the desk doing nothing for an hour. When she mentioned what had happened to him, he just persuaded her to try again the next morning. By the third day she had picked her pen up and begun to write a little. Once begun, she was loath to stop, finding the sound of her fountain pen scratching across the paper in front of her relaxing. She filled sheet after sheet of paper and the pile gradually grew.

Jack noticed that she was sleeping better and that she was slowly losing the troubled look on her face. He knew it wouldn’t disappear entirely, but he could see that she was dragging herself out of the worry about his returning to war. He had spoken to Jem about his recall and his anxiety over Jo. Jem had been more than happy to keep a discreet eye on his sister-in-law and determined to make sure she had plenty of support whilst Jack was away. He knew how difficult she found it to control her imagination and he wanted to prevent her from any more worry if he could. Jack had suggested that Robin and Daisy stay as day girls this winter, so Jo had company. Jem was inclined to agree, but he needed to speak to Miss Annersley before he would be able to offer that solution to Jo. 

As Jo was still suffering from morning sickness, Jack decreed that she should stay in bed until she felt well enough to rise each morning. Robin and Daisy were both old enough to be trusted with getting themselves up and to school on time each morning, though there was only another week left of term. Jo returned to the familiar routine of writing and walking each day. She began to rest after lunch again, something she had stopped doing some months before. Her pregnancy was making her feel tired so she was happy to lie on the bed for an hour or so to restore the little energy she had. If Jack was home, he would join her on her stroll around the village, knowing that all too soon, he would be gone again.

Robin and Daisy stayed at the Round House for Jack’s last few days at home. Madge had offered to have them and Jack had quickly taken her up on her offer, so that he could have some time alone with Jo before he left. Jem had given him the time off work as well. 

On his last morning, Jack woke early. He rose quietly and made his way downstairs and outside without disturbing Jo, who was sleeping soundly. He wandered down to the seat at the bottom of the garden and sat down. He hadn’t admitted to Jo that he was more worried about returning to war than last time. He had no idea where he was being posted, nor what he would be dealing with. He was also concerned for Jo as well. Although she had improved in the last week, he knew that she was still far from being her normal self and that she was still inclined to be a little over-emotional, thanks to her pregnancy. He hoped that the routine she had begun would continue, allowing her to feel secure and able to manage with his enforced absence. Hearing footsteps, Jack looked up to spy Jo coming down the path towards him. He smiled and moved up on the seat to make room for her.

“I thought I’d told you to stay in bed until later?” he asked, as she squeezed in beside him.

“I woke up and you weren’t there.” 

“I couldn’t sleep, so I thought I’d make the most of the sunshine. I didn’t think I’d disturbed you when I left, though.” Jack placed his arm around her and she leaned into him, resting her head on his shoulder. “How are you feeling this morning?”

“I’m all right.”

“Do you think you can face some breakfast? You ought to eat if you’re up.”

“I’ll try a little something.” Jack kissed her hair and stood up.

“Stay out here and I’ll call you when it’s ready.” Jo nodded and closed her eyes as she leaned back on the seat. Jack could see that she was still pale and looked too thin, but he hoped she would improve once the morning sickness began to wear off. Not for the first time did he curse Hitler and the war for taking him away from his wife when she so needed him. 

Jack made a simple breakfast and put out a small portion for Jo, before calling her in from the garden. He watched her walk slowly up the path towards him and wished he wasn’t leaving today. He knew that the troubled look would return when the time arrived for him to depart. He resolved to take her away somewhere for a break when he returned, knowing that she would need the change of scene.

Jack watched Jo pick at her breakfast, struggling to finish even the small portion he had put out for her. He hoped the morning sickness would wear off quickly since she needed to eat properly, not just for her own health, but for the baby’s, too. Suddenly, Jo jumped up and fled from the table. Jack let her go, knowing what was happening. He followed a minute later and found her slumped against the wall in the bathroom. He dropped onto the floor next to her and tried to pull her into his arms, but she resisted his efforts. Looking at her, he saw that she was already trying to withdraw from him, knowing he wouldn’t be there for her after today. He felt hurt that she would do such a thing, but he also had to admire her resilience and determination to stand on her own two feet. As these thoughts passed through his mind, Jo turned back to the toilet and he knelt up to pull her hair gently away from her face. 

When the bout of sickness had finally passed, Jack led Jo back to the bedroom and made her lie down. She did as he asked, no fight left in her. Lying next to her, he drew her into his arms and this time she was unresisting. He could feel her trembling and realised she was crying. He allowed her to continue, knowing it was a release for her. When they threatened to overwhelm her completely and she began to struggle for breath, he spoke.

“Jo? Please stop crying like this. You’re struggling to breathe and it’s only a couple of weeks since you had pneumothorax.” Jo attempted to draw a deep breath to check her sobs, but found she was unable to do so. Hearing her attempt fail, Jack immediately sat up and lifted her slightly. He kept a gentle hold on her as he rested her against his chest. He looked in the dressing table mirror and could see Jo had her eyes closed as she concentrated on bringing her breathing back under control. He watched her through the mirror, saying nothing until she was finally breathing a little easier.

“I think you might be better staying at this angle for a while. Let me adjust you so you’ll be a little more comfortable.” He managed to manoeuvre himself so he could shove some pillows in behind Jo to keep her at a slight angle for now. When he was happy, he kissed her forehead and disappeared from the room. Jo wondered what he was doing, but was too tired to enquire. She closed her eyes once more and was soon dozing, the storm of tears having tired her out. 

When Jack returned to the bedroom, he could hear that she still had a slight catch in her breathing, but it was much better than when he had left her. He sat on the bed next to her trying to make as little noise and movement as he could, but Jo stirred. She looked up into his concerned eyes and managed a wan smile. 

“How are you feeling?” 

“Okay, I think.”

“You seem to be breathing easier, anyway. You ought to rest a little longer.”

“It’s your last day, Jack. I don’t want to spend it stuck here. I want to have the time with you. I can rest as long as necessary when you’ve gone.” Jack saw a determination in her eyes that did not bode well for any attempt at persuasion.

“Well, make sure you do rest, then. Remember that Jem will be watching over you whilst I’m not here and he isn’t as easily persuaded as I am.” This comment elicited another glimmer of a smile from Jo, but she didn’t argue. She knew Jem well enough to know what he would say if she didn’t take care of herself. She sat up and swung her legs off the bed ready to stand up.

“Take your time, Jo. There’s no rush.”

“I know, Jack.” Jack fell silent, realising that she didn’t want his advice. She already knew it anyway, he surmised. He waited for her to make her way round the bed, before offering her his arm. She slipped her own arm through, and together, they made their way downstairs. Jack smiled at her as they entered the lounge and Jo saw that he had positioned a bunch of fresh-cut flowers on the table near the sofa.

“They’re lovely, Jack. Thank you.” She felt the tears prick the back of her eyes once more, but resolutely drove them away. She didn’t want to spend the whole of his last day at home crying. It wouldn’t prevent him from leaving, but she knew he would be worried when he did. 

“Sit down and admire them, then and I’ll get us something to drink. Do you think you can face anything to eat, yet?”

“Maybe a biscuit, if we have any.”

“I’ll see what I can do.” He disappeared to the kitchen, returning shortly afterwards with a tray.

“You’re in luck! This seems to be the last packet, though.”

“I’ll see if I can get any more when I next go into the village.” 

They moved onto to other topics and when Jo glanced at the clock, she gasped.

“Jack! It’s half past one! What time do you have to leave?”

“I’m catching the three o’clock bus to Armiford. I don’t need to leave here until quarter to three. We have another hour, yet.”

“But you need to eat. I’ll go and see what I can rustle up.” Jo made to stand, but Jack stopped her.

“No you won’t. I’ll do it. You stay here and rest.” He stood up and went back to the kitchen to prepare them some food. When he was ready, he called Jo through. On the kitchen table, he had laid out a light lunch of salad. Jo sat down and they ate in silence. Now she had realised that there was barely an hour left before he had to leave, Jo was unable to speak. Jack could see how close to breaking down she was and stayed quiet. He too, was close to tears, but knew he had to be strong for both of them. He had a feeling it would be a long time before they saw one another again and he didn’t want his last memory of her to be one of her crying. When they had finished, Jo insisted on washing up, and Jack dried. She needed something to do, to keep her mind off the ever nearing time when she had to say goodbye.

All too soon, the hour approached and Jack went to find out his uniform and put it on. Jo went outside and walked down to the seat at the bottom of the garden. She knew she couldn’t say her goodbyes in the house and this seat was the only place where she felt it appropriate. She had said goodbye here before and he had come back safely. She almost thought of it as a good omen and hoped this time would be the same. She said a swift prayer for the safety of her husband and opened her eyes to see him approaching. He squeezed in next to her, wrapping his arm around her as she laid her head on his shoulder. They stayed like that for a while, taking what comfort they could from the other, until Jack glanced at his watch.

“I have to go now.” He spoke softly, as if he might break the spell they were under.

“I’ll miss you.”

“And I you. Make sure you take good care of yourself and our baby won’t you?”

“I will. You look after yourself, Jack, and come back safely.”

“Of course.”

“Write as soon as you can and let me know where you are.”

“I love you, Joey.”

“I love you, too, Jack.”

He stood up and crouched in front of Jo, drawing her into a final embrace. She flung her arms around his neck and held him for a long moment, wishing she could keep him with her, but she eventually released him.

“I’ll see you very soon, Jo.” He stood back up as he said this and then turned and left, walking quickly away so Jo wouldn’t see how close to breaking down he was. Jo just watched him leave, before slumping into the seat and staring up at the clouds.

It was a good hour before she finally moved and she realised she was shivering. Walking back up to the house, she was determined to show a brave face. After all, she wasn’t the only person in the village to have a husband away fighting, and she had more reason than most to be proud of her husband, knowing what they had already gone through to get to where they were today.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Section in italics is taken from Highland Twins.

It was early September and Jo was sitting in the garden with Madge, Robin and Daisy when the postman appeared. He handed the letters over to Jo and continued on his way. Jo quickly distributed them to their owners, smiling as she recognised Jack’s writing on one of hers. She would save that for later, when she would be alone, though she was impatient to rip it open immediately. Instead, she opened a letter from an old friend. As she read the screed, her jaw dropped.

“What’s wrong, Jo?” Madge had looked up from her knitting in time to see the shock cross her sister’s face.

“I’ve just been asked if I could look after a family of Highlanders.”

“A family? How large?” Thus Daisy, as she rolled over and sat up, almost pushing Robin off the rug they were sharing. “Sorry, Robin!”

“Well, not all of the family, but twins of eleven and their elder sister who is expecting to be called up very soon,” Jo amended. “I’ll read what Jean says.

_“‘It’s a long story, and I’m going to tell it in full, for I want your sympathy. And believe me, you’ll need all the sympathy you’ve got to spare, and all the understanding too, for what I’m asking you to take on is a problem._

_‘‘‘Do you remember my telling you of a holiday I once spent with some distant connections of my mother’s? It was on a tiny island in the Outer Hebrides, and with some cousins of hers—McDonald by name. At that time, there were Cousin Duncan and his wife, Cousin Morag, and their three children—Archie, who was my own age, Shiena, who was three years younger, and Hugh, who was about four. Since then, there have been another boy, Kenneth, who must be about ﬁfteen now; and twin girls who are eleven—Flora and Fiona. When the twins were two, Cousin Morag died of pneumonia, and Shiena, who was twelve at the time, became mother to the entire family, so far as I can gather. I never went back, altho’ it wasn’t for want of asking. But ﬁrst I went to school in Paris; and then there was that trip I took with Mother and Dad to America; and then I met Ken and married him. After that, as we know all too well, the war broke out. Alan arrived to complicate matters; and then it was a case of trot through Great Britain to keep with Ken as far as I could.—By the way, there are rumours that his squadron may be going East, in which case I shall go home to Edinburgh for the time being_

_‘“Well, to continue my story. One evening, about six weeks ago, Ken brought in a couple of his pals for supper; and no sooner did I see the younger one than I exclaimed: ‘Archie McDonald!’ And Archie it was. Of course we had a great chat, and I heard all the news. It seems that Cousin Duncan died about eighteen months ago, and Shiena, Kenneth and the twins had gone on living in the Great House, as they call it, on Erisay, their island. I should explain that Cousin Duncan was very much of a recluse; never would send any of his children to school, and refused to allow any casual strangers to land on Erisay. The children were all educated by the minister until Archie was eighteen. Then Archie, who is now twenty-four, insisted on going to Camberley as he was mad on ﬂying; and Hugh gave his father no peace till he got leave to try for Dartmouth—which he got into by a scrape of two days. He would have been over-age if they’d left it any later. Shiena and the others carried on at the Great House, and it almost looked as if it would continue for ever._

_‘“I rather think it must have been the war that ﬁnished off Cousin Duncan. At any rate, he died, and Archie got special leave to go home to settle up things. He wanted them to leave Erisay and go to Scotland somewhere, but they refused. They are all as shy as young fawns, and the thought of having to meet strangers was too much for any of them. You can’t wonder at it, can you, considering how they’ve been brought up? So he had to go back to his squadron, leaving it at that, and there, when he came to our house that night, they still were._

_‘“Two days ago, he arrived in a state of what I can only describe as dither. The Admiralty have got their eye on Erisay for some fell purpose of their own. They have commandeered the whole island for the duration of the war, and Shiena and the children have to turn out at once. She, I suppose, will have to join one of the women’s forces; Kenneth is to go to school, and so must the twins. Now do you see what I’m driving at?_

_‘“They are singularly badly off for relations—Cousin Duncan was the only child of only children; and Cousin Morag’s only brother lives in Canada, so he’s no use to anyone at present. They can’t go to our place—there won’t be room if I have to go with young Alan. When I married, Mother and Dad moved into a ﬂat, as Mother felt she’d had enough of a house; and they have just the one room to spare for us._

_‘“I think Archie had been hoping they would be able to come to the rescue, for his face fell a yard when I told him that, and he was more upset than ever. I felt I simply must do my best to help him out, poor fellow; and then I remembered the School!_

_‘“But, Joey, can you imagine what being plunged straight into school life would be like to two children of eleven who have never seen a soul, beyond the thirty or so people who lived on Erisay, in all their lives? It would be cruel to try it. Don’t you agree? They must go, of course; but not at once. Let them get accustomed to meeting strangers ﬁrst._

_‘“So this is what I’ve thought of. You’ve got the rooms to spare. And I want you to take Shiena as well as the twins for a week or two till she’s called up.’”_

“It’s quite a responsibility, Jo, since the older sister will be away a lot when she is called up. You’re still not fully fit, either, and you shouldn’t take on any more than you can handle at the moment.” Jo grimaced at her sister. She knew full well that her pregnancy was making her less able to do things she had taken for granted before. She was beginning to eat properly again, though she found that certain foods still made her feel nauseous. 

“They need a home, though, Madge. They have nowhere else to go.”

“Where would we put them, Auntie Jo?” Daisy asked.

“We could sort out one of the attic spaces and put a couple of beds up there. We’ve never used that area, except for storage. If it was decorated nicely, I’m sure it would be ideal for the twins. Their sister could use the guest room since she won’t be living with us.”

“I think we ought to see how much work needs to be done before you accept them. If it’s a simple case of shifting a few boxes and colour-washing the walls, I’m sure I could spare you Marie and Andreas for a weekend. If it’s anything more, then I’m afraid you’ll have to turn them down. Jem would never hear of you having work done at the moment, if indeed you could get the men to do it.”

“Let’s go and look now, shall we? We have plenty of time before dinner.” Jo eased herself out of her chair and led the way inside. They ascended the stairs and soon found themselves in the attic area. A wall divided the space into two and windows stood in the gable ends. Looking into each one, they all decided that the boxes stored there could easily be moved into one room and the other decorated to accommodate the twins.

Madge still worried whether Jo was taking too much on, but she knew her sister. Jo had already decided that she would take the Highlanders in. Only Jem and Jack would be able to deter her and Jack was back at war. That left Jem and she wondered what he would have to say about it. She stayed silent as they went back downstairs and out into the sunshine once more. Robin and Daisy excused themselves to go and start on dinner as it was their turn to cook that evening, leaving the sisters alone.

“You’re going to take them in, aren’t you, Jo?”

“I have to, Madge. If I didn’t, I’d get evacuees.”

“That’s true. We’ll have to discuss it with Jem and you’ll need to speak to Jack.”

“I know. I’ll write to him tonight, though it takes forever for mail to get through to him, now he’s in the East. I can’t wait for his reply when this family needs a home now.”

“Don’t go trying to do too much to help. If Jem agrees, I’ll send Marie and Andreas over at the weekend to make a start on the attic.”

“Is Jem collecting you, tonight?”

“He said he’d be here about ten o’clock. Do you want to speak to him tonight, or would you rather wait until tomorrow, when he’s less tired?”

“Tomorrow might be better. He won’t want to stop if he’s coming that late.”

“How about we come over for lunch and discuss it then?”

“Okay. That’s sounds good to me.” Jo smiled and the conversation turned to other things.

It was late when Jo finally had chance to read Jack’s letter. Although she put on a brave face to everyone, she missed him terribly, even more so now she was carrying their baby. The two years they had just spent together had been a joy to Jo. They had spent as much time as they could alone, learning more about each other as the time passed. When he had left for war once more, Jo wondered how she would manage without his quiet support and unfailing belief in her abilities. This letter didn’t contain anything other than the usual news that he was well and what he had managed to do in the brief periods he wasn’t needed. She still worried about him, but knew that this time around he wasn’t being evasive; he was just trying to avoid the censor. Glancing at the clock, she saw that it was late and decided that she would write to him about the Highlanders in the morning, before Madge and Jem arrived for lunch.


	7. Chapter 7

Jo was busy making sandwiches when she heard the doorbell. Wiping her hands on her apron, she went to open the front door and usher her sister and brother-in-law inside. 

“Hello. Come on in.” 

“Morning, Jo. How are you?” Jem scrutinised her carefully before he kissed her. 

“I’m fine, thank you. Go on into the lounge, lunch is nearly ready.”

“Hello, Jo,” Madge replied, advancing for a kiss. “Do you need a hand to bring it through?”

“No, thank you. There’s only the plate of sandwiches to bring through, now. Everything else is already laid out. I won’t be long.” With this, she disappeared back in the direction of the kitchen, leaving them to discard their coats and make their way into the lounge. 

Jem strolled over to the French windows and stood looking outside as they waited for Jo to return. He had talked seriously of his doubts to Madge that morning when she had informed him of what was afoot. He was unconvinced that Jo should take the Highlanders in at the moment. He knew she had very little reserve strength to deal with anything unexpected. She had only just begun to recover her appetite and if she was put under any undue stress, he knew that it would be the first to go, along with resting properly. He had conceded that Jo had been right about having to take in evacuees if she had room, something he wanted even less for her. It wasn’t that he disagreed with the scheme, but that they were quite often from poorer areas of cities and she couldn’t be exposed to any sort of infection without it causing great risk to herself and the baby. As much as she might try to live a normal life, he was always aware of the fact that she was still recovering from tuberculosis and still had many more appointments ahead of her before she could be discharged from the care of the Sanatorium. 

He had reached this point in his thoughts, when the door opened to reveal Jo carrying a large plate of sandwiches. Madge swiftly crossed the room to take them from her and place them on the table.

“That’s a lot of sandwiches, Jo. Are they all just for us?”

“No. Robin and Daisy are due back any moment, so I made enough for them as well. They’ve been out hop-picking all morning.” As she spoke, they heard the front door open and voices in the hallway. Two minutes later, Robin and Daisy appeared in the lounge, looking rather dishevelled.

“You’re just in time, girls. Go and wash and then we’ll sit down to lunch.” They both acquiesced and disappeared once more. When they returned ten minutes later, they looked much more respectable and greeted their guardians properly.

Jo brought the teapot in and they all sat down to enjoy lunch, chatting about general things, until everyone had had their fill and Robin and Daisy departed to wash up. As the door closed behind them, Jem turned to Jo.

“I understand you’re planning to take in some Highland twins, Jo?”

“Yes. Their home’s been requisitioned for the duration and they have nowhere else to go. Their sister is expecting to be called up very soon and their eldest brothers are both in the forces as well.”

“How old are they?”

“They’re just eleven. From what I’ve been told, they’ve never been to the mainland before and are extremely shy. They’ll be at school, so they mainly need somewhere to stay during the holidays.” Jem looked closely at his sister-in-law. He saw she was determined to have the twins, whether he agreed to it or not.

“Are you sure you’ll be able to manage with two more people, though, Jo? You really shouldn’t be taking on anything else as the moment, especially as you’re going to be finding it even harder to do anything in a few more months.”

“We could always have them to stay with us, along with Robin and Daisy on a Saturday, Jem,” Madge interjected at this point. “It sounds as if they’re a similar age to Peggy, Bride and Primula, so they’ll have some companionship at ours. Plus, Robin and Daisy are living here as well, so they’ll be able to help out whenever they’re needed.” 

Jem looked thoughtful as he digested his wife’s suggestion. He was still inclined to think that Jo was trying to take too much on her plate, but with Robin and Daisy to help, the burden wouldn’t be quite so large for Jo. He nodded.

“That’s a good idea, Madge. I know you intended to take them in whatever I said, Jo, but I’m just concerned for your health. Let them start as day girls for this half term and then they can be boarders after that. They can spend Saturdays with us along with Robin and Daisy, as usual, so that you can get some proper rest. Have you informed Jack of your plans?”

“I wrote to him this morning, but it could be weeks before I hear back from him about it.” Jem’s face softened as he heard the sadness in Jo’s voice. He knew how much she was missing his company, as indeed, was he.

“You’d better show me this room you plan to turn into a bedroom for them.” Jo was glad for the distraction, as Jem had intended and she led him upstairs to the attics. 

“I thought that we could shove all these things into the other room and decorate this one for them. It gets quite a lot of sunlight on this side of the house, so if we can make it as light as possible, it should look quite cheerful. There’s enough room to shove two beds in here as well as some basic furniture.” Jem looked round carefully, since there were boxes and debris littering the floor.

“Yes, I think it could work quite well. You aren’t to do anything to help, though, Jo. I don’t want you tiring yourself out with painting or moving things. I’ll send Marie and Andreas over this weekend, and they’ll be able to get these boxes moved and the room cleaned ready for decorating next week.”

“I’ll need to help sort through this lot, though.”

“No. I want you to rest.” Jem could see the faint shadows under Jo’s eyes and knew she hadn’t had a good night’s sleep. She was also a little less cheery then she normally tried to be. Jem suspected that she was worrying about something, but as she had eaten a reasonable meal at lunch, he refrained from interfering too much. He knew she wanted this new challenge of looking after two shy Highlanders, though he suspected that she also doubted her abilities.

“I’m all right, Jem. I don’t need to rest.”

“Jo, I know you think you don’t need to, but resting will only be beneficial for you. When you take in these Highlanders, you’re going to need to be able to support them as they adapt to a completely new life. I know you’ve supported both Robin and Daisy for the past few years, but you already knew and loved them. You know nothing about these twins and what they might be like. They’re going to make demands on you that you’ve not had to deal with before. Taking guardianship of someone you don’t know isn’t as easy as it looks.”

“I know, but I can’t turn them away. I’ll manage, somehow.”

“If you need anything, make sure you come and talk to us. Don’t try to muddle through it. I know you think I’m just saying that, but I mean it. I want to be able to help you, not keep threatening you with all sorts of consequences. You’re as much a part of my family as my own children are and you’re loved just as much. Now, let’s go back downstairs and inform Robin and Daisy about their new housemates.” Jem held his arm out to Jo, who took it gratefully. She felt a little overwhelmed by Jem’s admission that he loved her as much as his own children, and was unsure what to say. Jem just guided her back downstairs, allowing everything to sink in. Just before they re-entered the lounge, Jo finally spoke.

“Thanks, Jem. It means a lot to me to know that.” Jem just smiled and opened the door for her.


	8. Chapter 8

It was early morning and Jo and Robin were already up and about. The Highlanders were arriving today and Robin was going to collect them from the station. Jo had been feeling a little under the weather for the past few days and Jem had ordered her to stay at home and rest. She had planned to collect them from Armiford station herself, but Robin had offered to go instead. Jo had gratefully accepted, knowing that she would have very little spare energy to keep going all day, otherwise.

“Are you all sorted, Robin?

“Yes. I have everything that I need. I hope their train hasn’t been too delayed through air raids.”

“If it has, you’ll just have to wait for them. Go over to the Lucys’ house if there’s time. I’m sure they’ll take you in until the train arrives. We don’t have enough petrol in the car to do the journey twice.”

“I will. It’s lucky we have enough petrol to get us there at all. Thank goodness that we don’t use the car very often, normally.”

“I know. I don’t know how we’d manage if Jack were at home, since he’d need the car to get to the Sanatorium every day. I suppose he’d have to stay over occasionally, to save the petrol.”

“I need to get going if I’m to be at the station in time,” Robin interjected, glancing at her watch.

“Go. If there’s a huge delay, ring me and let me know, won’t you? I don’t want to be worrying about you as well as everything else.”

“Of course I will.” Robin opened the door, letting the chill air into the hallway. “You get off back to bed. I’ll see you later.” She kissed Jo and disappeared, pulling the door closed behind her. Jo turned and went back up the stairs to her bedroom. She heard the engine start and then the noise slowly died away as Robin drove off. Removing her dressing gown, Jo was glad to climb back in between the sheets and curl up with the hot water bottle she found in there.

“Bless you, Robin. That’s just what I needed,” she thought drowsily. A few minutes later, Jo was sleeping soundly, not hearing anything else until the telephone pealed in the hall below.

“I’ll get it!” The shriek came from Daisy’s bedroom, followed by the sound of her bounding down the stairs to reach the telephone. A few minutes later, she appeared in the doorway to Jo’s room.

“That was Robin. The train’s delayed by about three hours. Apparently there were bad air raids last night around Leeds and Manchester.”

“That doesn’t sound good. I hope they managed all right. Did Robin say what she planned to do whilst she waited?”

“She was just going to go and visit the Lucys, then call into town to buy a couple of things she needs. She says she’ll hopefully be back about ten.”

“We’ll get some breakfast ready for then. Are you getting up now, Daisy?”

“Yes. I need to go into the village for some stamps, so I thought I’d do it now since Robin won’t be back for ages.”

“Okay. I’ll let you get on, in that case. If I’m not up at half past nine, come and wake me, please.”

“I will. See you later.” Daisy withdrew, closing the door behind her. Jo lay back down and closed her eyes once more. 

An hour and a half later, Jo was roused by Daisy. She shook her aunt gently.

“It’s just turned half past nine, Auntie Jo. I’ve brought you a cup of tea.” Jo rolled over and smiled at her.

“Thanks, Daisy. That’s just what I need. Did you get your stamps?”

“Yes. It’s a glorious day outside. I’ll go and set the chairs out in the garden while you get up.”

“Good plan. We may as well make the most of the nice weather while it lasts.” Jo hauled herself into a sitting position and picked up her drink. Daisy smiled and went back downstairs to get out the garden furniture.

When she had finished her tea, Jo quickly washed and dressed and joined Daisy in the kitchen. Together, they prepared breakfast and were just putting the toast under the grill, when they heard the car pull up on the drive.

“They’re here! Watch the toast, Daisy, while I go and greet them.” Not waiting for an answer, Jo went out into the hallway to greet her new houseguests.

Talking away through sheer nervousness, Jo ushered them inside. The three newcomers were obviously tired out from the long and trying journey. Jo showed Shiena McDonald, the twins’ sister up to the bathroom first, before escorting her outside to the garden whilst Robin helped the twins. Before long, they were sitting round the table eating breakfast.

“It’s so kind of you to take us in like this, Mrs Maynard,” Shiena said.

“It’s no trouble. I couldn’t see you homeless when I have space to spare. We’ve set up one of the attic rooms for the twins to sleep in and you have the guest room for the time you’ll be with us.”

“Thank you. I think Flora and Fiona would like to go to bed when they’ve eaten. It was such a long journey and the air raids kept them awake, too.”

“Of course. Once we’ve finished, Robin will show them their room and, as soon as they’ve bathed, they can go to bed. You too, if you like. I’m sure you need it just as much as they do. Have you finished, girls?” Flora and Fiona nodded, too shy to speak. “Then go with Robin and she’ll show you your room. Don’t worry about the trunks, we’ll move them later, once you’ve had a good sleep.” The girls followed Robin out of the room and Jo ushered Shiena back into the lounge. When Robin finally re-appeared, informing them that they were both fast asleep, Jo showed Shiena to the pretty guest room and left her alone. Before long, she too, was slumbering peacefully.


	9. Chapter 9

A week later, the three Highlanders had begun to adjust to their new life. Flora and Fiona were still very quiet, but they were beginning to lose a little of their shyness in their new home. They had spent a day at the Round House and had been introduced to Peggy and Bride Bettany and Primula Venables, who were similar in age to them. The twins liked them, but found the hustle and bustle there a little overwhelming. Shiena was still waiting for her call-up papers to arrive, but she was glad to see her sisters settling in to their new life. Jo had taken the three of them up to school to register the girls and let Shiena see where her sisters would be educated. Term would begin the following Monday and Flora and Fiona were looking forward to it with a little trepidation.

On Saturday, everyone went over to the Round House for the day as usual, leaving Jo alone to catch up on her rest. She went into the lounge and curled up on the sofa with her book. It didn’t hold her attention for long though, and she soon gave way to her thoughts. 

It wasn’t that she didn’t enjoy having the Highlanders to live with her, but she was finding that having more people in the house was tiring and she didn’t seem able to rest as much. In a way, she would be glad when school started and Flora, Fiona and Daisy would be at school all day. Robin was attending part time this year as she concentrated on her exams. Jo was beginning to understand why Jem had insisted that she take more time to rest. Her pregnancy, combined with the continued need to take care of herself, was taking its toll. She was almost four months pregnant now, and although she had finally stopped having morning sickness, she still found she had much less energy to deal with things than she had before. The weather had also closed in over the past few days, meaning she was unable to go very far since she had no wish to get caught in the rain. 

Jo yawned and closed her book. She wandered into the kitchen and put the kettle on, before sitting at the table to wait for it to boil. Once she had made herself a cup of tea, she took it upstairs to the bedroom and climbed into bed where she was soon sound asleep.

It was mid-afternoon when Jo woke again. She rolled onto her back and stared at the ceiling, before glancing at the clock. When she saw the time she gasped. She hadn’t intended to sleep for so long. As she swung her legs over the side of the bed and sat up, she felt as if butterflies were fluttering inside her. It was a strange sensation, and Jo was unsure what it was. She dressed quickly and made her way downstairs to the kitchen.

When she was sitting with a sandwich and a cup of tea, she felt the sensation again and wondered at it. She resolved to ask someone next time she had chance. As she ate, she allowed her mind to wander, and her first thoughts were of Jack. How was he? Where was he? She missed his presence and solid dependability. She wished he was back at home with her. Although she had companionship, she was missing the quiet support he offered to her without the need for words. She knew Madge and Jem would always make the time and were willing to help her, but it wasn’t the same as when Jack was there. He instinctively knew when things were worrying her, or if she needed to stop and take stock of what was happening. He gave her the confidence to carry on and deal with whatever was thrown in her path. Now, as she sat alone at the table, she found she was crying. The tears fell unchecked as she realised how much she missed him and her worries for his safety surfaced. She shuddered as thoughts came and went with startling rapidity. She needed to get out and try to clear her head.

As she went to find her coat and shoes, she glanced through the window. The rain was pouring down with no signs of stopping. Jo knew she couldn’t go out in that weather. She’d be drenched before she even reached the end of the lane. Sighing, she walked into the study and sat down at the desk. She pulled some writing paper towards her and picked up her fountain pen. After staring into space for a minute or two she began to write a long letter to Jack.

As she wrote, Jo didn’t notice the time slipping by. She was startled to hear the front door slam and voices in the hallway. Pausing mid-sentence she heard Daisy calling her, but was reluctant to answer. She just wanted to be left alone to finish her letter in peace. Suddenly, the door opened and Jem poked his head around it.

“There you are, Jo. Why didn’t you answer, when Daisy called?” Jo just shook her head at him. Jem saw the frown on her face and the pages scattered across the desk. “I’ll just let the others know I’ve found you.” He withdrew and caught Robin as she was coming downstairs. “Will you make some tea, please? Jo’s in the study and I’ll just have a quick word with her whilst I’m here.”

“Of course. Do you want it in there or will you join us in the lounge?”

“We’ll join you in the lounge. Thanks, Robin.” He turned and went back to the study, leaving Robin to go and turn the ring on under the kettle and inform Daisy, Shiena and the twins that Jo was in the study with Jem.

Jem dropped into the easy chair in the corner of the study and watched Jo as she continued to write. He allowed the silence to linger, knowing it would be best to let her speak in her own time. He knew that something was troubling her and he determined to see if he could help if at all possible. Eventually, Jo laid her pen down and looked across at her brother-in-law.

“That’s some screed you’re writing, there.” Jem spoke casually. He didn’t want to force her confidence, but he realised he had to be the one to break the silence.

“It’s just a letter to Jack. I needed to write it, since I couldn’t go for a walk.”

“What’s bothering you?”

“I miss him, Jem. I’m scared for his safety.” The tears trickled down Jo’s cheeks once more. Jem came over to where she was sitting and crouched down at the side of her chair. Jo rested her head in her hands, as she tried to stop.

“You’re allowed to miss him, Jo. He’s your husband. As for being scared for his safety, he’s at war. You’re bound to worry about him. I worry as well, because he’s a close friend as well as being my sister-in-law’s husband.”

“Do you?” Jo lifted her head to look at Jem, surprised to hear this admission. Jem was normally a very private person and had never spoken to Jo about his own worries before. 

“Of course I do. I wouldn’t be human if I didn’t worry about my family and friends. I care what happens to all of you.”

“How do you stop it from overwhelming you?”

“I talk to Madge. We don’t have any secrets and we support each other through our worries. It also helps that I’m not blessed with an imagination like yours. I know it’s a gift, which helps you write so well, but I’ve seen you struggle with it and had to watch you as it’s spiralled out of control.”

“I can’t stop it happening. The only way I can try to control it is to walk, or write things down. I don’t know any other way to stop it.”

“Has it helped today?”

“A little.” Jo looked at the pages scattered across the desk. She hadn’t noticed how much she’d written until now. The need to write had taken over and she had covered sheet after sheet. She yawned and Jem decided it was time to join the others in the lounge.

“Come and have a cup of tea. I think you’ve had enough for today. Have you eaten at all?”

“I had a sandwich earlier.”

“Well, let’s see if there’s anything to accompany that tea. Then you should have an early night. You look tired.” Jo stood up and allowed Jem to lead her into the lounge, where she was given a cup of tea and Robin disappeared to make her something to eat. Once Jem had seen her clear her plate, he left them alone and went on to the Sanatorium.

Jo took herself up to bed early and lay tossing and turning; eventually falling asleep as dawn came creeping in. She slept poorly, her dreams being haunted by images of her husband and friends still behind enemy lines in Europe. When she woke the next morning, she felt as if she’d had no sleep at all. She struggled into her dressing gown and went downstairs to the kitchen, where Robin was washing up.

“You look awful, Jo. Did you get any sleep at all last night?”

“Not much,” Jo admitted as she sat down at the table. “Is there any tea going?”

“I’ll put the kettle on. You should go back to bed. If Jem sees you looking like that, he’ll have a fit.”

“I can’t go back to bed. I need to do something to occupy my mind. Lying in bed doing nothing is just making it worse.”

“Don’t say I didn’t warn you, then.” Jo just nodded. She knew full well that Jem would not be pleased if he saw the state of her, but she knew she could sleep no more at the moment. Accepting the cup of tea Robin set in front of her, she drank it in silence, before going upstairs to dress.

*****

Jo was lucky and didn’t see Jem for the next few days. By which time, she had finally managed to recover a little of her equilibrium. School had started on the Monday, so the twins, Daisy and Robin were out most of the day, and Jo could rest more easily. Shiena’s call up papers had arrived and she was due to depart in a few weeks. Once she had gone, the twins would board at the school during the week, only coming home at weekends.

On Shiena’s final day at home, Flora and Fiona were given the day off school. Jo left the three of them alone to say their goodbyes. She knew she would need to comfort the girls once Shiena had departed. Sitting in the study, she continued writing her letter to Jack with one ear open for the sound of voices in the hallway.

When she heard the soft Highland tones, she came to join them and placed an arm around each child as they stood to wave Shiena off. As Jo suspected, the girls were tearful after saying goodbye to their sister and Jo set to work to give them what comfort she could. 

When they were settled in the lounge, Jo bent her energies to entertaining them. She was relieved when she heard the door slam and Robin and Daisy appeared. Taking one look at Jo’s weary face, Robin sent Daisy to make them all a drink and came into the room, intending to help Jo.

“Go and change first, Robin. I’m not having you crumpling your uniform,” Jo told her. Sighing, Robin did as she was told, returning ten minutes later in a casual skirt and blouse. As she sat down, Daisy appeared with a tray. She dumped it on the side table and went to change out of her own uniform. Robin poured and, once they were all settled, Jo asked how their day had been.

“Awful,” Daisy declared as she dropped into an armchair. “Nothing has gone right at all, today.”

“Never mind, Daisy. Tomorrow’s another day.” Robin responded as she passed a cup over. Daisy accepted it with a grimace and subsided into a chair in silence.

When they’d all finished, Jo excused herself to go and lay down for a while. She’d missed her normal rest after lunch and was feeling tired.

“If I’m not down in two hours, someone come and wake me, please.”

“Of course we will. Don’t worry about dinner, either. One of us will see to it tonight,” Robin replied.

“Thanks, Robin. I don’t know what I’d do without you.” Robin just smiled and Jo disappeared upstairs, where she was soon between the sheets.


	10. Chapter 10

Two weeks later, Jo was busy in the study when she heard a knock on the door. Getting up to answer it, she was considerably surprised to see the person on the doorstep. 

“Elisaveta! How on earth did you get here? Come on in! Why are you here?” Jo pulled her friend inside, along with her maid and children. Shutting the door against the driving rain, she helped them to remove their wraps and took them into the lounge. Once they were sitting down, Jo repeated her questions. 

“I’m sorry to turn up unannounced like this, but we had nowhere else to go,” Elisaveta said as she held the baby on her lap.

“You’re more than welcome to stay. We’ll fit you in, somehow. What happened?”

“We had to flee Belsornia. It’s been a long journey to get here.”

“Well, you’re safe, now. I’ll go and make a pot of tea and then you can tell me all about it.” Jo rose and went off towards the kitchen.

When she returned to the lounge, she found them all clustered around Elisaveta who was lying on the sofa.

“What’s happened?”

“Her Highness has fainted. We can’t bring her round,” Alette said in French. Jo responded in the same language.

“I’ll ring for Jem to come.” She fled the room and snatched up the telephone. Dialling the Round House, she hoped that Jem was home. It was answered on the third ring.

“Jem? Thank goodness! You need to come quick!”

“Jo? What’s happened? Are you all right?” Jem was suddenly anxious. He hadn’t seen Jo for a few days and her voice sounded as if something was badly wrong.

“It’s not me, it’s Elisaveta! Please, come quickly.” She put the receiver down on him and ran back to the lounge. Elisaveta was still unconscious and the children were crowding around trying to wake her. Unheeding of her own discomfort, Jo tried to persuade them to move away and let her have some air. She was worried about her friend, and was relieved when she heard the sound of a car on the drive. Hauling herself to her feet, she ran to the door and opened it to admit her brother-in-law. Jo’s breath was becoming shallow at the unexpected exertion. Jem heard it as soon as he entered and he grabbed her arm before she could go off again.

“Stop, Jo! You know you shouldn’t be running about, especially at the present. You'll be collapsing if you aren’t careful. Just stand still and get your breath back.” Jo opened her mouth to answer, but he was quicker. “I don’t want to know. Get your breathing back under control first.” Jo obeyed. When Jem was satisfied, he spoke again. “What’s happened?”

“It’s Elisaveta. She arrived on my doorstep with Alette and the children about half an hour ago. She’s fainted and still hasn’t come back round.”

“Where is she?”

“In the lounge.” Jem led the way through and took the situation in at a glance. 

“Alette, please bring the children away and give them something to eat in the kitchen. Jo, show them where it is and then come back through. I’m sure Alette will be able to manage.” Between them, Jo and Alette led the children away to the kitchen and Jem knelt down next to Elisaveta.

When Jo returned, Elisaveta was just coming round. Jem glanced up and indicated that Jo should sit down. She did so, reluctantly. When Jem was satisfied that Elisaveta was fully conscious again, he spoke.

“Jo, I need you to go and ring Frieda and ask her if she has room for Alette and the children. Then go and get your guest room ready. Elisaveta must go to bedfor the time being.” Jo stood up and left the room to do Jem’s bidding. “How old is the baby, Elisaveta?” 

“Six months.”

“Are you still feeding her yourself?” Elisaveta nodded. “Then she must stay here, but the others will have to go to Frieda for now. There isn’t the room here and you need to rest.” Jo returned as he said this.

“Frieda’s on her way, Jem. I also rang Madge and she’s sending Andreas over with a cot for the baby.”

“Well done, Jo. We’ll wait till he’s put the cot in the guest room and then Elisaveta can go straight to bed. Come and sit with her while I go and make some calls myself.” Jem stood and Jo came across the room to take his place by the sofa. He noted that she was still slightly breathless, but said nothing for now, resolving to deal with her once he had sorted Elisaveta and her family.

Once he was at the telephone, Jem rang Miss Annersley at the school and made her aware of the situation. 

“Would you like me to keep all the girls for the time being?” she asked.

“The twins and Daisy, yes. Send Robin home, though. Jo will need some help as the baby is only six months old. I’m sending the other children and Alette to Frieda’s for the time being. They can come and visit each day for a short time, but Elisaveta isn’t up to dealing with anything more at the moment.” 

“I’ll speak to the girls and send Robin home. Daisy may object to being left out of things, though.”

“Tell her that she can come to us for the weekend if she likes. Jo is used to Daisy and her boisterous ways, but I don’t want Elisaveta upset by them, however well-meaning.”

“That’s understandable. I’ll ask Daisy which she’d prefer and let Madge know to expect her if she decides to join you there.” She rang off and Jem quickly rang his wife to inform her that Daisy may be joining them for the weekend. 

Just as he had finished his calls, a knock came at the door. He went to answer it and admitted Andreas with the cot. He was directed up to the guest room and quickly had it set up next to the bed, within easy reach for the occupant. Jem thanked him and then returned to the lounge.

“Let’s get you upstairs and into bed, Elisaveta. Once you’re settled, the children and Alette can come up, briefly.”

“Where are they going?”

“They’ll stay with Frieda for now. She has room for them and they’ll only be in the village. They can visit for a short while every day until you’re fully fit again.” He swung her up into his arms and carried her upstairs to Jo’s pretty guest room. Jo followed to help and between them, Elisaveta was soon between the sheets. Jem sent Jo down to fetch the children and Alette. 

“You can have ten minutes with them, and then they must come back downstairs to wait for Frieda. You’re exhausted and you need to rest properly. I’ll come back in the morning.” Jem left her as her children and Alette entered the room, telling them to stay no more than ten minutes. He arrived downstairs just as Jo answered the door to Frieda. 

Once Frieda had left with Alette and the children, Jem turned to Jo.

“Go and sit down while I make us a drink.” He disappeared to the kitchen, returning shortly afterwards with a pot of tea and a sandwich for Jo.

“I’m not hungry, Jem.”

“You need to eat, Jo. I’m not leaving until you’ve finished that sandwich and then you’re going to bed. You’re still not breathing properly and it’s been a stressful morning for you.”

“But, Jem, I need to wait for everyone to get home so I can warn them to be quiet.”

“There’s only Robin coming home. I rang Hilda and she’s agreed to keep the twins at school and Daisy is most likely coming to the Round House. Elisaveta needs to be kept quiet for now. She’s exhausted and won’t be moving from that bed for a while. You’ll need help to look after Elisaveta and the baby, and Robin is sensible and quiet, unlike Daisy. The twins are too young to be much help.”

“I still need to wait for Robin to get back.”

“I’ll wait for her. I don’t need to be at the Sanatorium until this evening, so I can just as easily leave from here.” Outwitted by her brother-in-law’s logic, Jo meekly ate her sandwich in silence. She was beginning to feel rather tired, though she was loath to admit it. When she’d cleared her plate, Jem took it from her. He said nothing, but gave her a hand upstairs and saw her into bed. He peeped in to see Elisaveta and the baby both sound asleep.

Jem was listening to the radio in the lounge when he heard the front door. Robin slipped inside and quietly pushed it closed. Jem went to greet her.

“Hello, Jem. Where is everyone?” 

“Hello Robin. How are you? Jo, Elisaveta and the baby are all in bed. Jo’s had a hectic morning so I want her to rest all afternoon. She can get up for dinner, but I need you to make sure she eats it all.”

“I’ll do my best. What about Elisaveta?”

“Elisaveta must stay where she is for the time being. If the baby is awake, bring her away by all means. I need you to help Jo look after them both.”

“I can manage that. Will you be coming to check on her as well?”

“Yes. I’ll call in every day. Frieda has the other children and will bring them up to see her each day. They won’t be able to spend long with her, though. I also want to see how Jo is coping. If you think it seems to be getting too much for her, I want you to tell me.”

“I will do. She might not tell me, though.”

“I know, but you can be on the look-out for any signs and let me know when I come over.”

“What about school on Monday?”

“I’ll send Madge over to help on Monday. You need to have a break as well and I’d rather you didn’t fall behind with your schoolwork.” Jem rose from his chair. “I need to get off, now. I’m due at the Sanatorium. I’ll have a quick look upstairs first, and then I’ll leave you to it.”

When Jem poked his head back into the lounge ten minutes later, Robin had settled down to her preparation. She lifted her head when she heard the door open.

“Jo’s awake, now. I’ve told her to stay where she is until dinner, if you want to go up and see her. Elisaveta is still sleeping, but the baby was rousing slightly, so you need to keep an ear open for her.”

“I’ll make a pot of tea and sit with Jo for a while. It’ll be easier to hear her then.”

“Only wake Elisaveta if the baby’s hungry. The rest of it, you’ll have to do yourselves.” Robin nodded and Jem went to put on his coat, before setting off to the Sanatorium.


	11. Chapter 11

It was Monday morning, and Robin was in the kitchen making herself some breakfast when Jo came into the room. She looked paler than normal and Robin noted that she moved languidly. 

“Do you feel all right, Jo?”

“I’m just a little tired, Robin. I’ll be fine once I’ve had a cup of tea and something to eat.” Robin said nothing. She had to leave for school soon, but she knew that Jo’s sister was expected later that the morning.

Jo was finding it difficult to deal with looking after both Elisaveta and the baby. If it had only been one of them, she would have been able to concentrate her mind more easily. She hoped that it was just her pregnancy which was making her forgetful and unable to do more than one thing at once. She was glad that Robin had come home to help her, but she wasn’t looking forward to being alone until her sister arrived. Her normal daily routine had been broken and, though she knew that Elisaveta needed her help, she wasn’t sure how she was going to do everything. She began to eat the bowl of cereal Robin put in front of her, but she struggled to finish it as the worries about her own capabilities surfaced.

“What time is Madge arriving, Jo?” The question cut across her thoughts and she looked up at Robin.

“I think she said about ten o’clock. Shouldn’t you be getting off to school?”

“Yes. I can stay if you want me. I’m sure Miss Annersley would understand.”

“No. I’ll manage. It’s only for a couple of hours.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.” Robin left the kitchen and gathered her things together. Jo followed her to the door.

“Thanks for all the help you’ve given me this weekend, Robin. I don’t know how I’d manage without you sometimes.”

“You don’t need to thank me, Jo. Elisaveta is a friend and I’m glad she’s made it to safety. It’s been nice to get to know her family, too.”

“You ought to get off, or you’ll be late.” Jo kissed her adopted sister and was about to wave her off when she heard a sound from upstairs. Quickly closing the door, she set off to go and get the baby before she disturbed Elisaveta.

As Jo slipped into the room, intending to extract the baby, she found her friend sitting up in bed and about to get up to her daughter.

“Stay there, I’ll get her for you.” Jo crossed to the cot and picked up the small bundle, passing her over to her mother. Elisaveta smiled her thanks and bent over her daughter to comfort her. Jo sat down on the edge of the bed and watched them. Unconsciously, her hand strayed to her growing bump, and she stroked it gently. Once her daughter was feeding quietly, Elisaveta placed her free hand on her friend’s arm.

“When is the baby due?”

“Mid-February. I don’t know if Jack will even be here when it’s born.”

“I’m sure he’ll be thinking about you. It’s hard being apart isn’t it? I have no idea where Raphael is, either.”

“Nor I with Jack. All I know is that he sailed for the Far East. He won’t be coming home any time soon.”

“He’ll come home, Jo. I’m sure of it. It must be hard for you; especially after all you’ve had to deal with in the past few years.”

“He’s been there for me through everything, even before I knew he was the one I was going to marry. When I was in the Sanatorium on the Sonnalpe, he always made time to come and sit with me when he wasn’t on duty. He was willing to spend a few extra minutes with me when he was doing his rounds as well. If he hadn’t been there during those first few weeks after I’d been admitted, I don’t know how I’d have got through it all. Jem tried, but he never did it to the extent that Jack did. I know he cared, but I sometimes wondered if he was annoyed with me because I’d not said anything earlier, or with himself for missing it in one of his own family.”

“It must have been hard for Dr Jem to accept that he’d allowed one of his own family to slip through the net. That’s probably why he’s so protective of you, now. He doesn’t want it to happen again. He was probably very conscious of the fact that most people would know you were related to him and he didn’t want to have their faith in his abilities to cure them weakened.”

“That’s a good point. It could be the reason why he left Jack to it. He’d know that Jack and I were good friends and he may have thought that I would be better talking to someone who wasn’t related, but knew I could trust. I’d never have talked to the other doctors like I did to Jack. I know Gottfried tried to talk to me a couple of times, but I was just conscious of the fact that he was my friend’s brother. As friendly as I was with him, it was never on the same level as my friendship with Jack.”

“When I married Raphael, I found it strange at first. We’d known each other for a long time and had a happy friendship when we were young. It wasn't until my father told me that I needed to begin thinking about marriage and he mentioned Raphael that I discovered that he would be the one I’d marry. At first we found it hard to adjust to being more than friends. We’d not seen each other for some years and we had to get to know each other as adults, rather than the children we’d been. It’s strange now I look back. I don’t know what I’d do without him. I hope and pray that he makes it to safety.” Elisaveta winded the baby and passed her over to Jo to hold. “You and I have both had dramatic adventures, but at least we’re both safe, now. I have my children and you have a child to come. Let’s just hope our husbands make it back to safety, too.”

“That’s all we can do. Now, you’d better get some more rest before Jem arrives and I get told off for keeping you awake.” Jo stood up, the baby in her arms. “I’ll take her downstairs for a while as she’s wide awake.”

“You’re a good friend, Jo. I’m glad I came here.”

“So am I. Lie down and get some more sleep.” Elisaveta snuggled back under the covers and Jo went slowly downstairs to play with the baby in the lounge.


	12. Chapter 12

Jo was playing on the floor with baby Josephine when she heard a knock at the door. She was hauling herself up with the aid of the sofa to go and answer it, when she heard her sister call her name.

“In here, Madge.” She knelt back down to the baby and her sister came into the room. 

“Hello, Jo. How is everything?”

“All right, I think. Elisaveta is sleeping so I brought Josephine down here as she was wide awake.” Jo smiled up at her sister, glad she had arrived to help. Madge noticed how pale Jo was looking, but said nothing.

“I’ll go and put the kettle on, shall I? Jem said he’d be along shortly to see how Elisaveta is.”

“Would you mind? It’s hard work getting up and down from the floor, already.”

“Of course I don’t. I’ve been through it myself, remember.” Madge disappeared in the direction of the kitchen and Jo turned her attention back to the baby. Jo was playing Peekaboo when her sister arrived with the tea tray. Setting it down on the side table, she turned to help Jo to her feet, and then picked up Josephine from the rug. Jo went to pour the tea and the sisters sat down to talk. Madge kept the conversation on general topics until they’d finished their tea. Jo rose and collected the crockery together to take back through to the kitchen.

“I’ll go and wash this lot, and then check on Elisaveta.” She disappeared through to the kitchen, quickly washing the pots and leaving them to drain on the rack. As she reached Elisaveta’s room, she heard a knock on the door, followed by Jem’s voice. She continued on her quest and found Elisaveta seemed to be rousing slightly. Sitting quietly down, she waited to see if her friend was waking properly, but it was soon obvious that she was just changing position. Jo stood up and slipped back out. As she went downstairs, she could hear the voices of her sister and brother-in-law. They didn’t notice her as she entered the lounge.

“Why didn’t you send her straight to bed?”

“She’s an adult, Jem. I can’t order her around, certainly not in her own house.”

“If she’s tired, she should be resting. In her condition, she needs all the rest she can get. I don’t know why Jack allowed her to get into this position in the first place. He, of all people, should know the risks they’re taking.”

Jo stayed to hear no more. Sliding back out of the room, she donned her coat and shoes and let herself out of the front door. She needed to get away. She walked swiftly up the path and turned towards the fields, ignoring the nagging pain in her chest.

In the lounge the disagreement was halted by the whimpering of baby Josephine. She was beginning to get hungry and decided now was a good time to inform everyone. Madge glanced down at the small girl and spoke softly to her before turning back to her husband.

“I’ll take this girl up to Elisaveta. She’s hungry.”

“If Jo is in with her, send her down here. I think I’ll have a word with her and send her to bed if she’s tired.” Madge nodded and left the room. She returned alone ten minutes later.

“Jo isn’t in the house, Jem. I’ve checked everywhere.”

“She must be somewhere. Go and look in the garden, and I’ll have a look round, myself.” They went into the hall and Madge slipped her coat on and went to check the garden. Jem looked in the rooms upstairs and down. He met his wife back in the hall.

“She’s not in the garden. Where can she have gone?” Madge looked worried and Jem hastened to reassure her.

“She must have overheard us and has gone walking. You stay here and make Elisaveta something to eat while I go and look for her.” He came across and kissed her. “Don’t look so worried, darling, she can’t have gone far.”

Jem put on his coat and slipped out the door. He set off towards the fields at a brisk pace, glad that Jack had had the foresight to tell him Jo’s usual walking route and the wheat field she favoured when she needed to think or be alone. He was surprised at how far Jo had managed to get in the short time she had been missing, but he knew she would have paid a price for her speed.

When he finally came upon her, she was collapsed in a heap and struggling to regain her breath. Sitting down beside her, he manoeuvred her until she was in a position where her breathing was easier. He was concerned at her state, but knew he couldn’t move her until she was breathing normally. He waited, saying nothing as he propped her up against him. When she was finally breathing easier, he spoke. 

“Let’s get you back home, Jo.” He stood and helped her to her feet. Placing an arm around her for support, they set off back to the cottage. Jo was in no fit state for anything other than bed when they finally arrived home and Jem quickly got her upstairs. Madge brought some tea and a sandwich up for her sister. Just as she passed the plate over, there was a knock on the door. Leaving Jo and Jem alone, she went to admit Frieda and Elisaveta’s children. 

“Eat all of it, Jo.” Jem pulled a chair up to the side of the bed and sat down with her, determined to get the talk they needed out of the way. When Jo had finished, he took her plate and put it on the bedside cabinet.

“How are you feeling, now?”

“Tired.” Jo wasn’t sure if she felt ready for the conversation she knew must be coming.

“You shouldn’t have gone off like you did. You’re lucky no further damage has been done.”

“I needed to. I couldn’t stay and hear any more.”

“I’m sorry, Jo. It wasn’t fair of me to say what I did in the first place. I worry about you and I only want the best for you, even now. I was annoyed because you’re struggling on; trying your best to deal with situations you have no control over. It isn’t your fault that Elisaveta landed on your doorstep and collapsed with exhaustion. Nor can you help being tired out by the sudden responsibility of having to look after both her and her six month old daughter with only Robin to help. It wasn’t Jack’s fault that he was called up again and had to leave you to carry on alone for however long he’s away. I had no right to blame either of you for your current circumstances.”

“I’m not a child any more, Jem. I have to make my own mistakes and learn from them. Yes, this weekend has been hard and tiring, but I wouldn’t have turned my friend away. She has nowhere else to go. Hearing you blame Jack for everything was the last straw. I needed to remove myself or I would have thrown things at you.”

“I think I’d have preferred that to the worry you’ve just put me through by going off headlong. At least I wouldn’t be making you stay in bed for the next few days while you recover. I think it might be best if Elisaveta comes back to the Round House with us. Though you’ve managed so far, it isn’t helping your own health. Your routine has been broken and you’re struggling to manage everything and rest properly.”

“I’ll manage it somehow.”

“No, Jo. I should never have left her here for you to have to deal with in the first place. If she’s at the Round House, we have Rosa to help look after baby Josephine and Marie is there as well. You have no one, apart from Robin and it’s not fair to burden her with any more. You’re not moving from this bed for the next few days, so she and Daisy will have enough on to deal with you. The twins can stay at school until I decide to allow you back up.” Jo had no argument to this. She knew that Jem was correct.

“How are you going to get Elisaveta and Josephine to the Round House?”

“I’ll take them across later. Madge will stay here with you until this evening and give Robin a hand with everything.” There was a short lull in the conversation as Jo digested all the information Jem had just given her. He allowed her time to organise her thoughts, knowing that she would eventually get round to asking the question he was expecting.

“Jem? What did you mean by risks? Why are we taking risks by having this baby?” Jem paused to give himself time to think. He knew Jo. As impulsive as she was, she needed to know reasons for things. If he didn’t answer sufficiently, she could just as easily ask Jack and since he wasn’t here, she would write and then Jem would be dealing with another case of anxiety whilst she awaited the answer.

“Normally, you’d be advised against trying for a baby until you’re discharged from our care and only coming for routine X-rays.”

“You didn’t tell me.”

“I know. Maybe I should have done. I assumed that since you’re married to Jack, he’d already know that.”

“But why are there risks?”

“As the baby grows, it pushes up into your chest. When you’re having pneumothorax, you only have one lung functioning normally and this, combined with the baby, could cause extra strain on your heart. That’s why I keep telling you to rest as much as you can. You need to be careful about what you do so you don’t end up on complete bedrest.” He noticed Jo trying to smother a yawn. “Lie down and get some sleep, now. I’ll go and sort out getting Elisaveta to the Round House.”

He pulled the covers up around Jo and left her alone to sleep. Going downstairs, he spoke to Madge and Frieda, explaining that Elisaveta would be better at the Round House for now. Madge agreed and went to ring her maid to ask her to prepare the guest room. Jem went up to see Elisaveta and informed her what was happening, before wrapping her in blankets and carrying her down to the car. He whisked her off to the Round House and Madge rang Miss Annersley to ask her to send Daisy home with Robin.


	13. Chapter 13

Jem made Jo spend the next week in bed, resting. He was taking no chances with her health. He finally allowed her to get up the following Monday, provided she did nothing strenuous. Jo was relieved to be finally out of bed. She hated having to lie in bed for long periods of time, even when she knew it was necessary. Although Jem would have preferred her to rest for longer, he also knew her temperament. He knew that it was better to allow her up with strict instructions to take it slowly than forcing her to stay in bed and risk her being restless. 

Madge had called round each day to have lunch and sit with her while Robin and Daisy were at school. Jo had been thankful for her company. Although she had slept most mornings, she found the afternoons went slowly with no one to talk to.

Jo slipped back into her routine, spending the morning writing in the study and the afternoon resting. Winter was approaching and the weather had turned decidedly wet. This meant that Jo was pretty much confined to the house as she couldn’t risk a wetting or another cold. On the one day that the weather held, she took a short walk with her sister so she could get a little fresh air.

On the Thursday, the midwife came to visit Jo. She was quick and efficient, feeling the growing bump and listening to the heartbeat, as well as checking on Jo’s general health. She asked a few questions and cautioned her about doing anything strenuous, before taking her leave, stating she would be back to check on her in a fortnight’s time.

The following day, Jo was busy in the study, when the telephone rang. Sighing, she went to answer it and was surprised to hear Matron on the other end of the line.

“Jo? Are you busy?”

“I was just writing, that’s all. Is something wrong Matey?”

“I have your twins in my room at the minute. I’ve had to take them out of class as they had disappeared; only turning up halfway through the lesson. Normally, I’d keep them here until I can get the problem out of them, but they have point blank refused and it’s beginning to look as if they’ll end up here all day. Would it be possible for you to come have a word with them? They say it’s family business.”

“Of course! I’ll get Jem to run me up when he gets here.”

“Thank you. I appreciate it.” Matron rang off and Jo returned to the study. She picked her pen back up, but found her inspiration gone. Glancing at the clock, she saw that the bus was due in twenty minutes. Thinking she would get there quicker than waiting for Jem, she wrapped up and walked to the bus stop at the end of the lane. 

The bus dropped her at the lodge gates to Plas Howell and she set off up the drive. The walk was on a gradual incline and wound through the parkland before reaching the wide sweeping drive of the house where the school was situated. The weather was fine for once, so Jo looked forward to being out in the fresh air. Of the incline and the unexpected exertion, she thought nothing. She walked slowly, watching the birds flittering between the trees which lined the driveway. As she reached the halfway point, Jo found she needed to stop and regain her breath. Her interest her surroundings had driven away any thoughts that she shouldn’t have attempted the walk. Once she was ready, she continued on, but found she needed to stop more often to regain her breath. 

Eventually, Jo reached the great house and let herself in the front door. Pausing for breath once more, she set off up the stairs towards Matron’s room. Arriving there, she was immediately seized upon by Flora and Fiona, before Matron had time to take in anything other than the fact that Jo had arrived quicker than expected. 

Jo hustled the children out of the room and into an empty bedroom further along the corridor. Sitting thankfully down on the bed, she then proceeded to extract the story of the Chart of Erisay from them and the letter they had received that morning demanding it.

“Where is the chart now, girls?”

“We’ve hidden it in one of the attics in a wee metal box,” Flora answered.

“You’d better go and fetch it and give it to me to keep for now. It’ll be far safer.”

“Will you come with us to fetch it, please?” Fiona asked.

“Of course I will.” Jo couldn’t refuse their request. She could see that they were scared and they were only eleven. Together they set off up the stairs leading to the attic area. In a small attic room Flora produced a tiny box and handed it to her guardian. Jo dropped it casually into her handbag and led the way back downstairs to Matron’s room where they had to apologise to her. Matron quickly sent the two girls back to lessons and turned to Jo. Her quick ears had caught the slightly odd sound in Jo’s breathing.

“Sit down, Jo. I’m going to ring for something to eat and then, when you’ve eaten it, you can tell me exactly how you managed to get here so fast.” Jo opened her mouth to protest, but Matron was quicker. “Not a word. I’ll hear it after you’ve recovered your breath and have something substantial inside you.” She steered Jo to the sofa and made her sit down before ringing down to the kitchen to request a tray. Jo lay back against the cushions and stared at the ceiling. There was nothing she could hide from Matron. She allowed her mind to wander, hoping Matron wouldn’t probe too deeply. She was doomed to disappointment. Once the tray had arrived and she had eaten the sandwich and drunk the tea, Matron demanded an explanation.

“I caught the bus. When I saw the time, I knew that I could get here quicker by bus than waiting for Jem to arrive.” 

“And just how did you get up the driveway?”

“I walked.”

“How could you be so stupid, Jo? The drive is uphill and you shouldn’t be doing any strenuous walking in your condition. There’s no wonder you’re breathless. Well, now you can lay yourself down and rest there for the next two hours, whilst I try and arrange for a lift home for you.” She helped Jo to lie on the sofa and covered her up with a blanket, before leaving her alone with an injunction to get some sleep and not cause any more worry. Then she pulled the curtains across the window and left Jo alone in the room. She went to the study to speak to Miss Annersley.

“Hilda, do we have enough petrol in the car to run Jo back home?”

“No, I’m afraid we don’t. The car’s been used to go into Armiford for supplies this week and it’s practically empty.”

“Hmm. In that case I shall have to ring Jem up and ask him to collect her.”

“Why is she here, and how did she get here?”

“I’m afraid it’s partly my fault. Since you were out on business, I asked her to come as Flora and Fiona refused to speak to anyone other than her about a matter they said was to do with their family. As for how she got here, well, she caught the bus and walked up the driveway.”

“She walked? Does she have no sense?”

“Obviously not. She’s currently resting in my room and I’ve told her she’s not to move for the next two hours. There’s no way I’m allowing her to walk back to the gates to get the bus home again.”

“Yes, you’re right there. You’d better ring Jem. He won’t be pleased, but he’s the only one who has any petrol nowadays.” 

“It will serve her right. Maybe she’ll think before she does things in future.”

“I doubt that, Matey. You know as well as I do that Jo has always gone headlong into everything without worrying about the consequences. I’ll admit, you would think that these past few years would have made her more sensible, but it doesn’t look like it. Leave her to Jem by all means.”

“I will. I’ll go and ring him now.” Matron swept out of the room to ring Jem and ask him to collect Jo when he had a moment. As she suspected, he wasn’t pleased about his sister-in-law’s thoughtlessness in walking up the drive when she had only just been allowed back downstairs and was under strict instructions to avoid doing anything too energetic. He promised he would be there at some point during the afternoon, and requested that she be made to rest until he should arrive.

Thus, Jo was left to sleep on into the afternoon. Matron had checked on her periodically, but left her alone, otherwise. Jem arrived shortly after two o’clock and he was the one who woke her. He said nothing to her then, resolving to get her home first. Now, he merely told her to tidy herself up and then escorted her down and out to the car in silence. He drove her back home, and saw her into the house. Once she was sitting down in the lounge, he spoke.

“Why on earth did you think you could walk up the drive, Jo? You know full well that you shouldn’t be doing anything strenuous.”

“Matron asked me to go up to deal with Flora and Fiona. As the bus was due, I thought I’d catch that so I’d get there quicker.”

“If you needed to go up to the school, you should have waited for me. You knew I was coming over anyway and could have run you up there. If you aren’t careful Jo, you’ll end up back in the Sanatorium on complete bed rest because I can’t trust you to take sufficient care of yourself.”

“No, Jem. I’m not going back there!” Jo made to stand, but Jem shook his head at her. She dropped back into the seat and Jem continued.

“If you don’t stop doing things like this, it will happen. I told you to do nothing strenuous and also the reason why. I’m not going to warn you again, Jo.” Jem looked keenly at his sister-in-law, noting a troubled look in her eyes. “Why were you up at the school anyway? I didn’t think Flora and Fiona would be the types to be in trouble with Matron. What’s happened?” Jo poured the story out to him, relieved to be able to share the burden and knowing that Jem would help her. He looked serious as she spoke, though he said nothing until she had finished.

“Where is the chart now?”

“I put it in my handbag.”

“You’d better give it to me and I’ll go and lodge it with the bank first thing tomorrow morning. You were quite right to bring it away to safety, even if you went the wrong way about getting there.” Jo stood and went to retrieve the metal tin from her bag and handed it over to Jem.

“Can’t you take it to the bank today?”

“By the time I reach Armiford, the bank will have shut. I’ll put it in my safe for tonight. Don’t worry about it Jo, I’ll take care of it. It’s time I was going, now. Will you be all right on your own?”

“I’ll be fine. Robin and Daisy will be home, shortly anyway.”

“I’ll see myself out, then. You stay here in the warmth.” He walked over to the door and opened it. Just as he was about to leave he turned back to Jo. “I almost forgot. You have an appointment on Tuesday for X-rays. I’ll let you know who’s giving you a lift when I know myself. I’ll see you then. Take care of yourself.” He disappeared and Jo heard the front door closing. She sat back in her chair and closed her eyes, allowing herself to doze until the front door banging heralded the return of Robin and Daisy.


	14. Chapter 14

It was Saturday, and Jo was in the lounge with Robin, Daisy and the twins. The girls were all home for the weekend. Flora and Fiona tended to spend most weekends at school with their friends, but this weekend Jo had invited them home. She had decided that they needed a change of scene after their run-in with Matron and the chart. 

A sudden knock at the door disturbed the game of cards they were playing. Jo got up to answer it and returned a few minutes later, looking serious.

“Robin, will you and Daisy go and make some tea and get the biscuits out, please? The twins can help me tidy up a bit in here. It’s looking rather a mess at the minute.”

“Of course we will, Jo. Come on Daisy,” Robin replied as she stood up from the table. Daisy looked as if she was about to protest, but Robin had seen the look on Jo’s face and the telegram sticking out from Jo’s cardigan pocket. Giving the younger girl no chance to argue, she pulled Daisy to her feet and they left the room. Once in the kitchen, Daisy rounded on Robin.

“What’s going on? Why did Auntie Jo just turf us out like that? The room wasn’t that much of a mess and it’s not as if anyone is going to visit in this weather.” She pointed to the window where the rain was beating down as if it meant to flood the valley.

“Did you not see the telegram in her pocket? I think it’s for the twins and she wants to tell them whatever it is in private. Let’s put the kettle on and make that tea.”

“I didn’t notice anything. If you’re right though, I hope it’s good news.” Daisy turned round to pick the kettle up and fill it, before turning the ring on. Robin found out the teapot and cups for them all as they waited for the water to boil.

Back in the lounge, Jo sat down on the sofa and motioned to Flora and Fiona to sit down on either side of her. Greatly wondering, they obeyed and Jo produced the telegram from her pocket.

“I’ve had a wire from Shiena.”

“Is she coming to visit?” asked Flora, eagerly.

“She is, but she also sent some other news. I’m afraid it isn’t good news, either.” Jo pulled them closer to her. “Hugh’s ship has been torpedoed. I’m sorry girls, but he didn’t survive.”

“No! It can’t be true! Not Hugh!” Flora cried out, whilst Fiona sat perfectly still, tears cascading down her cheeks.

“I’m afraid it is true, Flora. Look! Here’s the telegram.” She handed the piece of paper to the small girl who read it, then turned and buried her head into her guardian’s shoulder. Jo stayed where she was, an arm wrapped tightly around each girl as they both sobbed into her cardigan. She wished she could do more to comfort them, but the telegram was very short and, until Shiena received a proper letter, they would know no more. 

Robin and Daisy came in with the tea and poured out a cup each for Flora and Fiona. Allowing the girls to be drawn away from her, Jo stood up and went into the hall to telephone the school. She explained what had happened to Miss Annersley and asked her to tell their form as well as requesting to keep them at home for the time being. Miss Annersley quickly agreed. She understood that they would need time to grieve for their brother in private. Jo promised they would return to school when Shiena returned to her posting.

Shiena arrived at Jo’s cottage late the following morning, and Jo, Robin and Daisy went up to the Round House for the afternoon. They knew that the three of them needed to have some time by themselves. When they returned home, Shiena was alone in the lounge. She had sent the twins off to bed, as both were tired and still upset. She was grateful to Jo for leaving them alone and glad that she could spend some time with them before she had to return on Wednesday. Jo brushed aside her thanks, stating that it was the least she could do for them.

On Tuesday, Jo had her Sanatorium appointment. Thankful that she was only going for X-rays this time, she was waiting patiently for her lift, when Shiena came into the lounge. 

“We thought we might go for a walk this morning. The twins need some fresh air. Would you like to join us?” Shiena asked.

“Thank you, but no. I have a Sanatorium appointment this morning and I don’t know what time I’ll get back. I’ll get you the spare key, in case you arrive home before me.” Jo stood up and went to search in the kitchen drawer for the other key, returning triumphantly with it a few minutes later. Her quick ears caught the sound of an engine, so she handed the key to Shiena and picked up her handbag.

“Here you go. Make sure you lock up when you go. My lift’s here, so I have to dash.” She left the three of them to don their coats and walking shoes and went out to the car which had just pulled up outside.

Jo was dropped at the entrance to the Sanatorium and, after thanking the nurse for the lift, she walked into the reception area. The receptionist directed her straight to the X-ray department. Once she had finished there, she was told that her appointment with the doctor was in two hours as he wanted to see the X-rays she’d just had. Jo sighed at having to wait around for so long and walked towards the little canteen to buy herself a drink. She had a story idea forming in her head and she wished she’d thought to put some paper into her handbag before she had left home. As it was, she had to content herself with trying to scrawl tiny notes on the back of receipts. She eventually gave up on this idea and took her book out to read.

When the two hours were almost up, she wandered along towards Jem’s office to wait for her appointment. She was called not long after she’d sat down, much to her relief. However, he was looking rather serious when she entered his office.

“Sit down, Jo.” Jo did as she was asked and wondered what was coming. She sincerely hoped that she wouldn’t have to go through pneumothorax again. “I’ve just looked though your X-rays and I’m not happy with them. They don’t show much improvement at all. I think it might be best to go back to having them monthly again, especially while you’re pregnant.”

“Is that just X-rays?”

“For the moment. Let’s see how it goes. I’m promising nothing, Jo. If you can remember not to do anything which makes you breathless, we might manage to keep you at home”

“I’ll try, Jem.” Jo felt tears pricking at the back of her eyes and she blinked them back. Jem saw, however, and came round the desk to her.

“I know it’s difficult, Jo, but you need to remember for your own health and for the baby’s. That’s why I think going back to monthly X-rays will be better for now. I’ll be able to pick up anything out of the ordinary much more quickly and we can work out the best course of action for you. If you continue with them every three months, you might not be so lucky.”

“Is this what you meant when you said we were taking risks having a baby?”

“Yes. Try not to worry. I’m keeping a close eye on you for that very reason and I’ll do all I can to help you stay healthy.” Jem went back round his desk and looked though his notes, giving Jo some space to compose herself. “I’m giving you a lift home, but I have a few more appointments, first. Go and get something to eat in the canteen and I’ll come and find you there once I’ve finished.” Jo nodded and stood up.

“Are you sure I’ll be all right?”

“As much as I can be, Jo. Go and get something to eat. I shouldn’t be too long.” Jo left his office and went to the canteen as he’d asked, but she was unable to eat much. Having picked at the food on her plate, she gave it up and went to wait outside. 

Jem finally found her sitting on a bench in the cold November sun. He was about to admonish her for not doing as he asked, when he noticed how upset she looked. She hadn’t seen him approach as she wrestled with the thoughts which had begun to swirl around her head. Jem sat down next to her on the bench, pulling his hat a little further on his head. It was a cold morning for all that the sun was shining. 

“Jo? Tell me what’s worrying you.” 

“I don’t know how I’m going to stop it from coming back.”

“That’s why I’ve put you back on monthly-rays. It’s my job to try and prevent it, and I’m determined to do everything I possibly can to make sure both you and the baby stay as healthy as possible. You just have to trust me.”

“I know. I do. I just wish Jack was here. It’s hard dealing with it on my own. I haven’t heard from him for weeks.”

“I’m sure you’ll hear soon, Jo. He’ll be just as anxious about you. Come on, let’s get you home, it’s none too warm out here today.” He stood up and helped Jo to her feet. Together, they walked over to his car and Jem drove back to Jo’s cottage. He spoke again as she climbed out.

“Jo, if you want to talk about anything, just ask. I know it’s not easy for you right now, but I want you to remember you aren’t alone. Jack will come back soon and then you’ll be a complete family again.” 

“I know, Jem. And thanks. You’re alright for a brother-in-law.” Jem smiled at this, happy to see she was able to make such a remark to him. It had been a long time since she’d done that. Returning the smile, she slammed the car door to and he watched her walk up the path to the front door.


	15. Chapter 15

On the Saturday following her Sanatorium appointment, Jo was in the lounge with Robin and Daisy. The girls were busy with some preparation they needed to finish and Jo was reading a book. The room was quiet, except for the sound of the fire in the grate. The weather was cold, now it was November and there was a thick mist outside, which made them all glad to be snug in the warmth of the room.

A sudden knock at the door disturbed the quiet and Robin rose to go and answer it. She returned a minute later, an orange envelope in her hand. Jo glanced up and saw it. She closed her eyes briefly as she had a premonition that it wasn’t bearing good news. 

Taking the envelope from her adopted sister, Jo stared at it for what seemed like forever. Robin and Daisy hovered nearby wondering why Jo was taking so long to open it. Finally, Jo turned it over and pulled out the contents. As she read the words written there, her face drained of what little colour it had. She crumpled the sheet up, rose and left the room without a word. The paper fell to the floor, unheeded.

“Jo? What is it?” Robin called after her in vain. Jo was gone. Daisy picked up the ball Jo had dropped and smoothed it out.

“‘The Admiralty regrets to announce that John Maynard has been lost at sea.’ Oh, Robin! Jack is dead!” The tears coursed down her face as she re-read the fateful telegram. Robin looked over her shoulder and read it for herself. She was shocked to realise that he wouldn’t be coming back. Her own tears fell unheeded.

“Poor Jo! We need to help her, Daisy, but how? We’re both too young to be able to comfort her.”

“What about Auntie Madge and Uncle Jem? They’ll know what to do.”

“Yes. We need to tell them. They’ll be more help than us. I’ll go and see if I can ring them.” Robin left the room and went to the telephone. She returned to Daisy a minute later. “It’s engaged. We’ll have to keep trying.”

“I wonder where she’s gone?”

“Run upstairs and see if she’s in her room, I’ll check the study.” Both girls went to see if they could find her, but she was nowhere to be found. Donning her hat and coat, Daisy went out into the mist to check the garden, whilst Robin tried to ring the Round House again. She was lucky and it was Jem himself who answered on the second ring.

“Jem! Thank goodness! Please, come quickly! Jo’s had a wire saying Jack is dead and now we can’t find her!” Robin burst into tears again, and Jem dropped heavily into his chair as he heard the news.

“Jack’s dead?”

“Yes. It came about fifteen minutes ago. Please will you come?”

“I’m on my way. Where’s Jo?”

“We don’t know. She left the room without a word and now we can’t find her. She’s not in the house.”

“Have you checked the garden?”

“Daisy is looking now. Here she is.” Daisy shook her head at Robin’s questioning look. “She’s not there either.”

“I’m on my way, Robin. Fill all the hot water bottles you can find and put them in Jo’s bed and have a hot bath ready. We’ll be there as soon as possible.” Jem rang off and went to find his wife. He quickly told her the situation and together, they left for Jo’s cottage. Dropping Madge at the gate, Jem continued on as far as he could in the car, guessing that Jo would have headed to the fields. Abandoning it at the end of the farm track, he continued on foot, hoping she wasn’t much further on and dreading what state she would be in when he did find her.

He finally came across her hanging onto a tree as she tried to regain her breath. There were no tears but her eyes were haunted, as if she was trying to outrun the demons in her brain. She was wet through, having left with no hat and she’d forgotten to fasten her coat. 

“Jo? Come on home. You shouldn’t be out here in this weather.”

“No! I can’t go home!”

“Look at the state of you, Jo. You’re wet through and in pain. This is helping no one, least of all your baby.” Jo turned away from him and attempted to set off once more, but Jem placed his hand on her arm.

“Jack’s dead, Jem. Do you think I care about the baby?” She attempted to pull away, but his grip was too strong.

“I care about the baby. I care about you as well. Running away isn’t going to help bring Jack back, Jo. He’d want you to stay well and have a healthy baby. He wouldn’t want you to make yourself ill again. Come back home. I promise I won’t leave you to deal with this alone.” Lifting her, he carried her back to the car and drove them back to her cottage. 

When they arrived, he carried her inside and straight up to the bathroom. Once she had been bathed, he tucked her into bed and sat down beside her. Jo was propped on pillows to allow her to breathe more easily. Jem was concerned that she’d done more damage to her lung in her flight and he refused to leave her until he was satisfied she was able to breathe normally. She had still shed no tears for her husband and he was beginning to worry that she would break down completely. 

“How are you feeling, Jo?”

“I don’t know. Numb. I can’t believe he’s gone, Jem. I’ll never see him on this earth again. He’ll never meet our baby.”

“I’m sure he’ll be watching over you. He’ll be taking care of you in his own way. He wouldn’t want you to stop fighting just because he’s no longer here.”

“I know. I just don’t know how I’ll manage alone. I’m a widow and I’m only twenty-four. How old that makes me sound.” She laughed and Jem watched her carefully. “I’ve had such a short time with him, too. We’ve been married three years, and I’ve spent about half of that time without him. Now he’s dead and I’ll not get the chance to see him and spend time with him again.” As this thought sank in, the tears finally fell and she sobbed out loud. “Oh, Jem! I miss him! I miss him more than I can tell you!”

“Shhh, Jo. It’s all right.” He held her close as she finally allowed her grief to flow, but when the storm of sobs threatened to overwhelm her and she began to struggle for breath he intervened. Pulling back from her, he found she was unable to control herself. “I’m going to give you an injection, Jo. You’re struggling for breath and you need to rest. It will help you to sleep.” He took a syringe from his medical bag and administered the contents of it into her arm. Keeping hold of her, he gently manoeuvred her so she was lying comfortably and watched as her eyelids drooped and she slept. 

When he was sure she was over and her breathing had eased, Jem slipped from the room and went downstairs to the lounge. There, he found his wife with Robin and Daisy. All three were red-eyed, but composed now the initial shock had worn off. The fatal telegram was on the table and Jem picked it up, reading the contents idly.

“How is Jo?” Madge asked.

“Sleeping. I just gave her a sedative so she should sleep for the next eight hours at least. We’ll need to stay with her. She isn’t in any state to be left alone. We’ll just go and collect some things from home. Will you girls be all right for an hour if we leave you? We won’t be long and we’ll stay here for tonight at least.”

“I think so. Do you think Jo will be all right?” Daisy dropped the title of ‘Auntie’ in her earnestness. 

“I’m sure she will be, Daisy. Just now, she’s upset and her flight hasn’t helped her. It’d be helpful if you could make up the guest room for us, and maybe prepare some dinner. It’s been a long day for all of us. Robin, I’m grateful you rang me as soon as you did, otherwise Jo could have been a lot worse.” He walked towards the door and Madge rose and followed him. She kissed both girls on her way past them, grateful they had been at home when the telegram had arrived.

“We’ll be as quick as possible, girls,” Madge said, before closing the door behind her. Jem helped her into her coat and pulled her to him once it was on. Giving her a hug, he dropped a kiss on her hair and then escorted her out to the car. As he drove, Jem spoke.

“Jo will get through it, darling. She’s just had a bad shock and is pretty ill from that mad flight. We’ll pull her through. One of us must stay with her for the time being. She needs as much support as we can give her.”

“I’ll stay with her. She’s my sister and you can’t be spared.”

“I know. I’ll make sure I call in every day. She was in a mess when I found her and I need to ensure she’s done no further damage to herself. If it had been under any other circumstances, I’d take her back to the Sanatorium, immediately. I can’t do that while she’s grieving. She needs to be where she knows she’s loved and feels secure.”

“I don’t know what I’d do without you, Jem. You’ve been a rock for her through all this.”

“I love her as much as you do, Madge. I don’t want to see her hurting any more than you or Dick. She’s going to need a lot of love and care over the coming weeks and months if she’s to be fit enough to have that baby.” Jem pulled up outside their door and they climbed out. “Be quick, darling. I don’t want to leave Robin and Daisy alone for long. It’s been a hard day for them, too.”

“I’ll be as quick as possible, but I need to have a word with Marie as well.”

“Of course. I’ll wait in the car for you, when I’m ready.” Jem turned into his study and Madge ran along to their bedroom to pack some clothes for them, before going to the kitchen to explain the situation to Marie, her maid. That lady was understanding and assured her mistress that they were more than able to cope alone. 

They were soon in the car and bowling along the lanes towards Jo’s once more, in silence this time. Both were thinking of the loss of Jack and how Jo was going to manage without him. When they arrived, Madge placed their things in the guest room and Jem checked on Jo. The evening was quiet. No one was inclined to talk much, and Jem sent the girls up to bed early. He and Madge weren’t long in following them, knowing that when Jo did wake, it would be to fresh grief and pain.


	16. Chapter 16

Jem jerked suddenly awake at four in the morning. Diving out of bed, he ran into Jo’s room. The screams which had woken him were coming from Jo. He found her thrashing around in the throes of a violent nightmare. Jem knew he needed help to calm her. Running back to the guest room, he woke his wife. Robin and Daisy appeared at their bedroom doors, disturbed by the noise.

“Girls, go and make some tea. I think we’re all going to need it.” They set off downstairs to fill the kettle and set it going, whilst Jem and Madge went into Jo’s room. “We need to wake her and calm her down. This thrashing about isn’t helping her to rest.” Together they sat either side of Jo but, as they grabbed her arms, she just began to thrash harder. Jem heard snatches of words and immediately realised she was having the same nightmare she had described to him before.

“Let go, Madge. She thinks we’re trying to torture her. We need to try a different way.” Madge obeyed and sat hastily back as Jo’s arm flailed rather too close to her face. Jem spoke loudly. “Jo! Wake up! You’re at home in your own bed!” He watched carefully, as her eyelids fluttered slightly. “Jo! There’s no one trying to hurt you! Wake up!” This time her eyes opened and she looked frantically around the room. As she saw Jem and Madge and the familiar surroundings, she began to sob. Madge moved up to sit beside her and held her as she cried. Jem was anxious, as the nightmare had obviously been violent and she had had little strength beforehand. Now, she had to deal with that as well as her grief.

Jo clung to her sister. As her breathing became more laboured, Jem motioned to his wife to move, but she was unable to extricate herself. 

“Jo, you have to let go of your sister. I need to move you so you can breathe a little easier.”

“I won’t go anywhere, Jo,” Madge murmured. Reluctantly, Jo released her grip on her sister and allowed Jem to move her to a better position. The tears continued to fall, but she found it easier to breathe. Jem watched her, a worried expression on his face. 

“Tell me about the dream, Jo.” He spoke conversationally.

“I can’t. I don’t have the words to describe it.”

“Yes, you do. Telling us will help to banish it from your mind.”

“It… it was the same as last time. Only worse.” Jo shuddered violently. She attempted to draw a deep breath, but found it impossible.

“Try to breathe normally, Jo. You can’t do deep breaths for a good while, yet.” Jo closed her eyes and concentrated on her breathing for a few minutes. A knock came at the bedroom door and Jo started violently, grabbing her sister hard.

“Shhh, Jo. It’s only Daisy with some tea for us,” Madge said. Jem rose and took the tray from his niece.

“Thank you, Daisy. You and Robin ought to go back to bed, now. It’s far too early to stay up. Don’t worry about the tray, one of us will take it back down.” He kissed her and watched her go back to her own room to make the best of what remained of the night. Robin followed suit when she came upstairs a few minutes later. Jem placed the tray on the chest of drawers and poured them each a cupful. Jo’s hands were trembling too much to take the cup from him, so he held it to her lips for her. When the cup was empty he put it down and turned back to the question of her nightmare.

“What happened in your dream, Jo?” Jem repeated his question.

“They caught us. They caught all of us. They separated us all so we didn’t know what happened to anyone else. I could hear the screams, but I couldn’t help them. I was locked in. Then I heard nothing. Just silence. Whatever they were doing had stopped. I didn’t know whether anyone was still alive.” Jo paused. “Then they came for me. They dragged me through the corridors. Endless corridors. I kept asking what they’d done to my friends, but they just laughed. They laughed so hard and told me to wait and see.” Jo shuddered again and closed her eyes once more to concentrate on breathing. The silence lingered, neither Jem nor Madge willing to break it. When it threatened to continue, Jem spoke.

“Jo? What did they show you?”

“I saw them. All of them in a heap. Just piled anyhow, with no dignity or respect. I could see their faces. They were staring at me through lifeless eyes. I recognised them all, except Jack. He… he wasn’t in that pile of dead people who were my friends. He was at the other side of them. He wasn’t dead, yet. He was bleeding everywhere. So many holes. I tried to go to him, but they held me so I couldn’t move. One of them grabbed me by the hair and forced me to watch as another went up to him and shot him in the head.” Jo stopped, unable to continue as the scene replayed itself in front of her eyes. Tears fell unheeded down her cheeks. “He was my rock. He was always there when I needed a friend, right from the outset. He listened to me and tried to cheer me up every time he came in the room. And now he’s gone! I have no rock to hold onto anymore.” The sobs grew more violent and Jem decided enough was enough. 

“Jo, you have to calm down, otherwise you’ll be seriously ill. I don’t want to give you another sedative, either. They won’t help you in the long term.” He saw her attempting to control herself and was satisfied. Madge held her close, knowing she needed someone to cling to. Her eyes closed and she went into a fitful sleep, which they both knew wouldn’t refresh her and help her to deal with her grief when she woke again.

“Stay with her, Madge. I’ll go and wash these up and get dressed. We can’t leave her alone while she’s sleeping so restlessly. I won’t be long.” Madge nodded and he departed to return the tray to the kitchen and wash the cups out. After a good wash, he dressed and returned to Jo’s room. He found his wife slumbering alongside her sister on the bed. Throwing a blanket over her, he left her to sleep on. This was stressful for her, too. She needed her strength to be able to help Jo in the coming weeks and months.


	17. Chapter 17

When Jo woke again, she saw Jem sitting in the chair next to the bed. He was reading something she vaguely recognised as being from Jack’s shelves in the study. As the thought of Jack came to her, she breathed in too quickly, and immediately coughed in reaction. Jem was alert immediately. He placed the book on the floor and came to hand her a handkerchief. When she was calm once more, he sat back down.

“I think I need to examine you, Jo. Coughing is a bad sign.”

“I just tried to breathe in too fast, that’s all.”

“Still, I think it might be for the best.”

“What are you reading?”

“It’s a book of Jack’s from the study. I don’t have a copy of it. Do you mind?” Jo just shook her head, unable to answer. Tears dripped down her cheeks and she brushed them away impatiently. 

“It’s okay to cry, Jo. I understand.” He squeezed her hand. I’ll just get my bag from the other room. He left her alone for a minute as he collected his medical bag from the guest room. He placed it on the floor and waited quietly with her until the tears stopped. Then he proceeded to do a thorough examination. Satisfied, he helped her to lie back down and packed his things away.

“Well?” Jo asked.

“All sound for now. You’re going to have to stay where you are for a couple of weeks, though. I don’t want you to risk causing any further damage to that lung. After that, we’ll see. I’ll go and get something to eat for you. I won’t be long.” 

Jo just nodded. She felt tired, but didn’t want to sleep. The memory of the nightmare was too vivid and each time she closed her eyes, she saw that awful image of Jack. Jack. She couldn’t believe he wasn’t coming back. Ever! Staring at the ceiling, tears fell unheeded as she thought about the short time they’d had as husband and wife. Her memories moved backwards, to when they were still living on the Sonnalpe and the fun they’d had together that summer she’d left school. They’d spent a lot of time out walking, exploring the local area in minute detail. Looking back now, she realised that Jack must have already made up his mind about her. He never said anything though, just allowed her the space and time to make her own decisions. That was always Jack’s way, she remembered. He was so patient with everyone, never losing his temper and lashing out, like she did on occasion. She’d pushed him away that second summer, when she first became ill. She had been scared, but hadn’t the courage to talk to him, to tell him anything. She’d seen the hurt and puzzlement in his eyes, but she had been unable to prevent herself as she put up barriers to protect herself. 

Then, when she was finally admitted to the Sanatorium, he had been the one who came to her. He sat with her in the long dark hours when she thought she had no hope left. He listened to her fears and tried to help her. He was the one who was her rock through it all. He always had a spare few minutes for her, however busy he was. Even when she was well enough to go home, he continued to support her in his own way. He spent time with her, helping her to adjust to being back in the real world after the artificial world of the Sanatorium. He was the one she turned to when her spirits were low because she knew he would listen and understand and then try to cheer her up in his own way. 

Then Austria was annexed, and things became more complicated than before. Their carefree existence was gone. They had to deal with the Gestapo and Nazi spies. Jo knew she had been lucky not to be taken into custody, but she’d had to watch Jack go with them, all for a simple thing like the Peace League, made by schoolgirls. She had feared for his safety and wondered if he would return. He had never told her what had happened to him during that week, but she had seen the new lines etched on his face. They told her that he had suffered at their hands. She admired him for his courage during that time. When they had had to flee for their lives, he had taken on the responsibility of helping them all to cross the border without a murmur. He had stayed with her when she had been unable to go on as spasms of violent coughing heralded the return of tuberculosis. He’d been adamant that he wouldn’t leave her, that he loved her, illness and all. She’d tried to push him away again, but he’d refused to let her do so. He knew the signs that time around and broke her defences down before she could erect them. He’d stayed with her when she collapsed completely and was unable to continue without help and had gone with her to the hospital when it was clear that she needed urgent medical attention.

Whilst she had been in the Swiss hospital, he’d stayed on with her, visiting every day without fail. He had seen how scared she was and tried to support her as much as he could. He’d stayed with her even when Jem came to collect her and bring her back to England, spending each evening with her on the slow journey across Switzerland and France. Then, as she’d been admitted to the Sanatorium for a second time, he’d promised her that he would be there for her. When he disappeared that first week, she had worried endlessly. Unable to go and search for him, she’d asked Jem to go for her. It had been a long year as she recovered the second time around. Jack had spent as much time with her as he could, whether it was snatched minutes during his shifts or a longer time between them. He’d never given up hope on her being well enough to go home and become his wife. 

Their wedding day had passed in a blur to Jo. She remembered so little of it. Luckily, Jem had taken plenty of photos and the treasured album was on a shelf in the study. Then came the reality of war and Jack was called up immediately. They’d had barely a month of marriage before he had to leave her. She’d missed him, his comforting arms and strong support, though she’d always thought he would come back home to her. He had done until now. Now he wasn’t coming back. She’d never see him again. Her rock was gone, pulled away from her just when she needed him most. He’d never come back through that door to surprise her or pull her into those strong arms to comfort her when she was upset. He was dead.

Dead. The word echoed around in her mind. Dead. Jack was dead. Jo gave a strangled sob as the reality sank in. She was unable to stop herself. She wanted to scream and shout why? Why me? After all I’ve been through. After all he’s done for me and everyone else in this world. He shouldn’t be dead. He should be here beside me, helping me to nurture and bring our baby into the world. He shouldn’t be lying at the bottom of the sea in a watery grave where no one will find him, where he’ll have no one to visit and pay their respects.

Jo rolled onto her front and into Jack’s half of the bed. Burying her head in his pillow, she sobbed and sobbed. She didn’t care that she could no longer breathe properly or that she might be making herself worse. She was a widow and her child would have no father to help her bring it up. Her rock was gone forever.

“Jo! Jo! You have to stop this, now! You can’t breathe, never mind what damage you’re doing to yourself.” Jem put the plate down and ran over to the bed to try and move her back. Jo wasn’t having it. She refused to budge and continued to sob on, making her breathing shallower by the second. As much as he didn’t want to inject her with another sedative, he found he had no choice. She was in too much of a state to be able to listen to him, never mind obey. Cursing himself for leaving her alone, he grabbed his bag and delved for his syringe and the vial containing a strong sedative. Once it was ready, he tried again.

“Jo! You need to calm down. I know it hurts and you’re in pain, but you can’t go on like this. Jack wouldn’t want you to go on like this. He’d want you to face up to the future and concentrate on being well enough to have the baby.” He carried on, unheeded by Jo, who continued to sob into the pillow. Eventually, he gave up trying to talk her round. “Jo, I’m going to give you something to make you sleep. You need to rest, now. You need to sleep and be ready to face up to your loss again with strength and courage.” He took her arm and administered the contents of the syringe into it. Placing the syringe on the bedside cabinet, he rolled her onto her side, so he could see her face. It was red and swollen from the force of her outpouring of grief. He watched as her eyelids drooped and the sedative took hold. Only when he was sure it had taken full effect did he begin to manoeuvre her to a comfortable position to help her breathing. 

Sitting on the chair beside the bed, Jem realised that Jo’s grief was overwhelming her to the point where she was unable to think coherently. Under normal circumstances she would never have allowed herself to get into such a state of breathlessness. He knew that she would never have put herself into the position of needing complete bedrest if it had been avoidable. Jo was impulsive, but her time inside the Sanatorium had given her enough insight to know that she needed to take care of herself if she was to avoid being re-admitted. Jem accepted that her nature was such that the slightest thing could throw her off-balance. The news of her husband’s death had caused her to break down completely. Jem knew that she needed to grieve, but he was loath for it to be at the expense of her health and that of the baby. He needed to help her to find a way of dealing with it so it wouldn’t cause her any more harm. 

As, he sat there, deep in thought, his wife quietly entered the room. Seeing him looking so worried did nothing for her own anxiety over her sister. Although she knew Jo was grieving, Madge wished there was something she could do to help her. Glancing at her sister sleeping in the bed, she crossed the room to Jem and sat down with him.

“What happened?”

“She was sobbing her heart out on Jack’s pillow. Nothing I said would stop her and she could barely breathe. The only thing I could do was to sedate her again. I didn’t think I’d been gone that long.”

“You weren’t, darling. Jo is a law unto herself and her imagination would have taken her to those depths of despair regardless of whether you or I had been in the room or not. She’s just found out her husband is dead and she’s grieving badly.”

“I know. I just wish I could help her more.”

“You’re doing all you can. She has to be allowed to grieve for him. I understand what you did and you were right to. She’ll make herself ill if we don’t watch over her.”

“I’m not sure I should go to the Sanatorium tonight. I don’t want to leave you to deal with her alone when she wakes from this.”

“Don’t be silly. I’ll manage perfectly well, and you won’t be able to give her anything more when she wakes will you?”

“It’s not just that, Madge. What if she has another one of those nightmares? Her imagination is working overtime and finding an outlet in her dreams. Have you read anything of her writing since she moved here?”

“No. I didn’t like to ask. Normally, she’s quite forthcoming, but since moving to Howells, she’s been very reticent about showing me anything.”

“Hmmm. Whatever she is writing is something for her eyes alone, then. Jack told me that she spent every morning in the study. Maybe it’s more therapy for her than for anyone else to read.”

“If that’s the case, then wouldn’t it be something she could do up here? It may help her in her grief.”

“I know, but she needs to rest. If she’s writing, she’s not resting properly.”

“She won’t rest properly whilst she’s in such a state. Why not allow her a set length of time, like you did when she was in the Sanatorium?”

“That might work. We’d need to make sure we removed the pen and paper between times, though. The whole reason for complete bedrest is to make sure she doesn’t make that lung any worse than it already is.”

“She won’t rest if we don’t offer her an outlet for her grief.”

“I suppose you’re right there. I’ll see how she is when she wakes next, before we give her that lifeline. She may not want to take it.” Jem leaned forward to look at Jo and check her. “Are you sure you’ll be all right if I go to the Sanatorium?”

“Of course I will be. How long is she likely to sleep for?”

“At least the next eight hours. Hopefully, she’ll fall into a natural sleep after that, but I can’t guarantee it.”

“Then we’ll be fine. You get off and we’ll deal with Jo. I know you’re short of staff and need to be there.”

“If there’s any problem, ring me at once. I don’t want you trying to deal with it alone.”

“Don’t worry, darling. I’ll ring you if I need you before.”

“I’ll try and get back as soon as I can. You don’t need to sit with her, but you might keep checking on her at regular intervals.” Jem stood up and Madge did the same. They linked arms and went downstairs where Madge watched him don his coat and hat, before he kissed her goodbye and departed to do what he could at the Sanatorium.


	18. Chapter 18

Jem returned to Jo’s cottage around midnight. He was tired, but happy that he’d left the Sanatorium in the capable hands of one of his most trusted doctors. He hoped that Jo had gone into a natural sleep and wasn’t disturbed by nightmares. It had been a long day and he wanted to be able to sit down and relax for a short while.

He was out of luck. As soon as he stopped the engine outside the cottage, he could hear the screaming. Locking the car, he ran inside and up to Jo’s room. He arrived just in time to see her lash out and hit her sister in the eye. Madge reeled backwards at the force of the blow and Jem caught her. He turned to Robin and Daisy.

“Take Madge downstairs and put some ice on that eye. I’ll deal with Jo. You might make some tea and a sandwich or two as well.” His tone was peremptory and they obeyed without question.

Meanwhile, Jem turned to the bed and saw that Jo was still deep within her nightmare, though the screaming had stopped for now. He hoped he could rouse her and help her. Raising his voice he spoke to her. 

“Jo! Wake up! You’re dreaming!” Nothing. “Jo!” This time he practically shouted her name and was rewarded by seeing her eyelids flutter. After another attempt, she opened her eyes and turned a terrified face towards him. Jem perched on the edge of the bed and held her hand.

“It’s all right, Jo. You’ve been dreaming again. Just lie still and get your breath back.”

“Oh, Jem! It…”

“Shhh. Don’t talk just yet. Concentrate on breathing for now and I’ll call for someone to bring some tea up. I won’t be a minute.” He went to the top of the stairs and called Daisy, asking her to bring them some tea and a sandwich each. She disappeared back into the kitchen and Jem returned to Jo. He could hear her breathing becoming less laboured as he sat back down. 

“Daisy is going to bring us a drink up and something to eat as well.” He turned thankfully to the door as a tap came on it and Daisy came in with a tray. He took it from her with a word of thanks before she disappeared off back downstairs. Helping Jo to sit up, he pushed a few pillows behind her before handing her one of the plates.

“Eat that, Jo.”

“I’m not hungry.”

“You’ve barely eaten in the past few days. The baby will be hungry, even if you aren’t.” Jo sighed. She didn’t want to think about the baby. She just wished she could go a long way away and forget all about what was happening now. She wanted to be back in carefree times, before her illness and all that had followed. She had been so happy then. She had been invincible. Nothing could stop her. Now, all her world was coming crashing down around her and she had no safety net, no barriers to hold it back. The baby growing inside her was the last thing on her mind. She was tempted to throw the plate back at Jem, but something stopped her. She slowly picked up the sandwich and began to eat. Jem watched her as he ate his own sandwich. When he was satisfied she had eaten enough, he took the plate back from her and made her lay back down. 

Once Jo was comfortable again, Jem persuaded her to tell him her dream. He listened quietly, allowing her to describe it in vivid detail. He wasn’t surprised she had been screaming again, and realised that he had been right in his surmising of why Jo was writing. It was an outlet for her imagination. Madge was correct when she had suggested that Jo wasn't resting properly because she couldn’t write. Looking at his sister-in-law, Jem’s heart went out to her. She was so pale as she lay against her pillows, her black hair a shocking contrast. As much as he’d lost a friend, he knew that Jo had lost her soul-mate. Although the couple had never spoken of their feelings, Jem knew they meant the world to each other. Jack’s death had knocked Jo for more than six and he was unsure how she would ever recover from such a blow.

As she finally ran down, Jo stared at the ceiling, unable to meet Jem’s eyes. She was exhausted, but she was afraid to sleep. The nightmare might come back and she didn’t think she could go through it again. She didn’t want to be left alone, either, as her imagination would run away with her. Jem’s voice cut across her thoughts.

“Jo, would writing help you with these nightmares?” He spoke quietly, almost hesitant. He knew that Jack had told him in confidence and he was reluctant to break it. He wasn’t sure how Jo would react to him knowing the reason why she wrote. 

“How do you know about my writing?”

“Jack told me just before he left. He wanted me to know the reason why it was important you spent time writing. He didn’t tell me any details, but I’m guessing it’s a sort of therapy for you.”

“It’s worked before. I thought you wanted me to have complete bedrest, though?”

“I do, but you aren’t resting are you? Your thoughts are crowding in and they’re finding the only way out is in your dreams, hence the violent nightmares. If writing is going to help, then I have to allow it so you can rest properly.”

“Thank you.”

“You ought to try to sleep again, now. It’s late.”

“No! I can’t sleep! The nightmare will come back, I know it will.” Jo attempted to sit up as she said this.

“Lie back down, Jo. Just because I’m going to allow you to write doesn’t mean you can attempt to sit up. Look, I’m going to leave the little lamp on and I’ll stay in the room with you. If you have a recurrence, I’ll be here for you. Tomorrow, I’ll see about bringing your writing things up and you may spend an hour at it.”

“Are you sure you won’t leave me?”

“I promise one of us will be with you throughout the night, Jo. We won’t leave you.” He tucked the bedclothes around her and turned on the small bedside lamp before retreating to the corner of the room and the comfortable chair there. Jo lay still in obedience to his instructions and found the small light source helped. Jem quietly watched as her breathing became more regular as she drifted off once more. As he watched, the door opened softly to admit his wife. He put his finger to his lips and came across to her, motioning her back out onto the landing. 

“How is Jo?”

“Asleep for the moment. I’ve promised her one of us will stay with her all night.” He looked at his wife and saw the discolouration around her eye. “You have a lovely shiner there, darling. Does it hurt?”

“A little. Jo will be mortified when she sees it.”

“I’ll get you some painkillers and then you should go and get some sleep. I’ll take the first watch and wake you when I need you.”

“You’ve been up all day, Jem. You must be tired out. Let me take the first watch.”

“I’m fine, darling. I’m used to long hours and you ought to sleep that headache off for a while. Have the girls come up to bed yet?” 

“They were just tidying up downstairs, before they come up.”

“Let them sleep in tomorrow and ring Hilda in the morning to let her know they won’t be in school this week. They’ve had a shock as well and need to have some time to recover from it.”

“We’ll have to explain what’s happened. I’m not sure if Jo is ready for anyone else to know, yet.”

“I’m sure we can ask Hilda to keep it to herself until such time it’s necessary for anyone else to be told.” Footsteps were heard on the stairs, followed by the appearance of Robin and Daisy. Both girls looked tired out and Jem told them that they wouldn’t be going in to school in the morning.

“You’ve both had a shock, and you need some time to yourselves as well. We’ll explain the situation to Miss Annersley.”

“Thank you for all your help tonight, girls,” Madge added. “You’ve both been invaluable.”

“Now, I think it’s high time you were both sleeping. If Jo is up to it, you shall both have a few minutes with her tomorrow.” Jem kissed them both and sent them on to their bedrooms, before turning back to his wife. “I’ll get you those painkillers and then you can get some sleep, too.” He disappeared back into Jo’s room to fetch his bag and fished around for the tablets for her. Handing her a couple, he then bade her goodnight with a kiss, then turned and went back into Jo’s room. Madge watched him go, before she too, sought her bed and was soon sleeping soundly.


	19. Chapter 19

The next morning, Jo woke to find her sister reading in the chair beside her. As her memories of the night before began to emerge, she made a slight movement. Madge noticed and leaned towards her.

“Morning, Jo. How are you feeling?”

“What happened to your eye?”

“It happened when I was trying to wake you from your nightmare last night.”

“I did it? Oh, Madge! I’m so sorry!” Her eyes brimmed with tears.

“It was an accident, Jo. You were still sleeping when it happened and had no idea it was me when you lashed out.”

“I shouldn’t have done it, though.”

“Jo, you were in the middle of a nightmare. You were trying to defend yourself against something in your dream and had no idea I was there. Don’t blame yourself, for it. It could have happened to anyone in the same position.”

“Do you think so? No one else seems to have the nightmares I have.”

“I’m sure of it. Don’t dwell on it. Now you’re awake, you really should eat something. I’ll just run down and ask Robin to make you a tray up. I won’t be a minute.” Madge stood up to leave, but Jo caught her hand, forcing her to turn back to the bed.

“Don’t leave me alone, Madge! Please? Stay with me. I don’t think I can cope with being alone.”

“Shhh, Jo. I’m not leaving you alone. I won’t be more than a minute, I promise.” She bent down and kissed Jo to reassure her, before extracting her hand and disappearing through the door. Jo was alone. She stared hard at the door, willing it to open and for someone to come through it so she could avoid her thoughts.

Madge was as good as her word. She ran downstairs and bumped into Robin at the bottom. She put her request to the younger girl who was more than happy to make something for Jo. Madge then dashed back up to her sister, re-appearing around the door two minutes after she’d left. As she approached the bed, she saw the relief in Jo’s eyes and realised that the younger woman was genuinely scared to be left alone. Wishing Jem was awake to be able to help reassure Jo, she dropped back into the chair and smiled at her sister.

“I told you I wouldn’t be long. Robin is making you some breakfast and will bring it up when it’s ready.”

“I thought she and Daisy would be at school by now. It’s gone ten o’clock.”

“No, they aren’t going in this week. They’ve had a shock too and Jem thought it best for them to stay at home rather than being forced to work when their minds aren’t on it.”

“Have you told the school what’s happened?”

“Only Hilda. She’s promised to say nothing to the rest until you say so. She had to be told when I rang to tell her that Robin and Daisy wouldn’t be in.”

“Thank you. I don’t think I could deal with dozens of well-wishers at the moment.”

“You won’t have to, Jo. Even if the others are told, they won’t be allowed to visit without your express permission. Jem wants you to rest properly and streams of people wouldn’t allow you to do that.” A tap on the door interrupted them. Robin came in bearing a tray and put it on the dressing table. “Thank you, Robin.”

“My pleasure. Is there anything else either of you need while I’m here?”

“No, thank you. You’ve already done enough for now.”

“Will you come and sit with me later, Robin? Madge can’t spend all her time in here with me,” Jo asked.

“Of course I will, Jo. I’ll come back in a couple of hours if I may?”

“That’s fine. I need to wake Jem up then, so it’s most helpful if you have the time to spare,” Madge replied. Robin smiled and left them alone once more. Madge gave Jo a hand to sit up, pushing some pillows behind her for support. Then she investigated the contents of the tray, passing a plate to Jo who grimaced as she looked at the food on it.

“Oh, Madge, do I have to?” She turned imploring eyes on her sister.

“Yes, Jo. At least make an attempt. You know you have to eat.”

“I’m not hungry, though.”

“That makes no difference. You wouldn’t argue like this with Jem. I’d rather you didn’t argue with me.” Jo saw the determination in Madge’s eyes and reluctantly took the cutlery she was holding out to her. She picked at the food on her plate, spending more time swirling it around than eating. 

Madge watched, realising that Jo wasn’t going to eat any more. She took the plate away and removed the pillows to allow Jo to lie down again. As Jo yawned, she picked up a book and opened it.

“I’m going to read to you, Jo. It might help you to relax a little.”

“Sounds good.” Jo closed her eyes and Madge began to read. As she read, Jo’s breathing became more regular and she realised that her sister was sleeping. Seeing no need to continue, she quietly closed the book and picked up her knitting.

Robin came into the room later that morning, and Madge gave up her chair to her.

“Let her sleep, Robin. Try and keep to neutral topics if she does wake and wants to talk. I’m going to go and wake Jem, now.”

“I’ll try my best.”

“That’s all I ask.” Madge kissed her and left to go across the landing to the guest room. Jem was snoring gently as she entered. Sitting on the bed, she shook him. He woke immediately, his doctor’s instinct making him alert at the slightest shake.

“Jem? It’s twelve o’clock, darling.”

“Thank you. How is Jo doing?”

“She’s sleeping at the moment and Robin is sitting with her.”

“Robin?”

“Yes, Jo asked her when she brought breakfast up. She said I couldn’t spend all my time with her.”

“At least she’s acknowledging that you won’t be here forever.”

“She didn’t want me to leave her when I went to ask Robin to make some breakfast for her. She’s not ready to be alone, yet.”

“No, it’s too soon. How much did she eat for breakfast?”

“Very little. She spent most of her time moving it around the plate.”

“That doesn’t surprise me. As long as she managed something. She needs to eat at each meal for the baby’s sake as well as her own. I wouldn’t be quite so adamant about it if it wasn’t for that. Let’s hope the chance to write a little this afternoon helps her.”

“I hope so, for our sake as well as hers. Those nightmares are keeping all of us awake, and it isn’t good for the girls.”

“I know. By the way, she was a little upset that I knew the reason for her writing, so it might be best if you say nothing about it unless she mentions it first.”

“Of course.”

“You’re being a brick through this, Madge. I hope Jo realises that when she’s recovered a little.”

“She’s my sister, Jem. I couldn’t do anything else for her. Dick would do the same if he were here. You’ve been the biggest brick, though. She wouldn’t be here at all if it wasn’t for you.” She leaned over to kiss him and he returned it. 

“She’s my sister as well as yours, has been since I married you. I don’t like seeing her in this position any more than you do. I can only do so much for her, even though I wish I could do more. She’s had a tough few years, what with her illness, having to leave Tyrol and now this.” Jem pushed the bedcovers away and climbed out of bed. 

“I know. It never rains, but it pours for her. Come on downstairs when you’re ready and I’ll make some lunch.” Madge stood back up and left him to dress. 

Once alone, Jem quickly washed and dressed before going to look in on Jo. She was still sleeping, so he just smiled at Robin and retreated, closing the door softly behind him. He made his way downstairs and found Madge in the kitchen with Daisy helping her. He sat down at the kitchen table and was presented with a cup of tea and assured that lunch would be ready in a minute. 

“Daisy, do you know where Jo keeps all her writing things?” he asked.

“They’ll be in the study, Uncle Jem. Do you want me to go and look for them?”

“Not this minute, but you might give me a hand to find everything after lunch. Thanks Madge,” as his wife put a plate in front of him. The three of them ate their lunch in silence. When they had finished, Jem stood up and asked Daisy to come and help in the study. As they entered, Jem closed the door behind them.

“How are you managing, Daisy?”

“I’m all right. It’s just all a bit too close to home, that’s all. Especially after Mummy.”

“I know. You still miss her don’t you?” Daisy nodded as she tried to keep the tears back. Since Margot Venables had died four years previously, Daisy had regarded Jo and Jack more or less as parents. Now, Jack was dead and she was feeling the loss keenly. She had been old enough to remember her father’s death in Australia and had grieved for both him and her mother when she died after they had reached Guernsey. Jem understood his niece’s upset and just held her close as she gave in to her grief over her own parents and Jack. She was generally such a happy, sunshiny person, that it was easy to forget that she was now an orphan. She had fitted in so well with Jo, Jack and Robin and they had been happy to have her as part of their family group.

When the tears stopped, Daisy drew back and looked up at her uncle.

“Th-thanks, Uncle Jem.”

“It’s all right, Daisy-girl. You’ve been amazing these past few days. I’m glad you were here and able to help as much as you have done. Go and wash your face, then you can help me find the writing things for Jo.” Daisy did as he bid her and returned looking better for the cold water she’d splashed on her face. Together, they found Jo’s fountain pen, paper, and ink as well as a large book to lean on. They took it all up to Jo’s bedroom, where they found she was just rousing. Jem sent Robin down to have some lunch and asked Daisy to wait with her while he fetched his bag.

Dropping into the chair, Daisy was unsure what she should say to Jo. She’d barely seen her since the telegram had arrived. Jo managed to smile at her when she opened her eyes.

“Hello Daisy. How are you?”

“I’m fine, thank you, Auntie Jo. Do you feel all right?”

“I don’t know, to be honest. I’m just numb at the minute.”

“Yes. It’s a horrible feeling isn’t it? I didn’t know what to feel after Mummy…”

“Oh, Daisy! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to bring all those memories back to you.”

“It’s all right. I still miss Mummy and Daddy and the boys, but they’re mainly happy memories, now. Primula doesn’t remember much about any of them, so it’s nice to be able to tell her stories about them when we’re alone.”

“I’m glad. Primula should know about her family, and you’re the only one who can tell her. It must be hard, living in different houses.”

“It’s not so bad. When we go to the Round House on a Saturday, I try and spend some time alone with her. She’s happy there since she’s with Peggy and Bride who aren’t much older than she is.”

“That’s good.” Jem returned at this point and shooed Daisy back out, with a request to bring a sandwich and a drink up for Jo. She stood up and kissed Jo, then ran off to Jem’s bidding. Left alone with his sister-in-law, Jem examined her, and then sat back in the chair. 

“That sleep seems to have helped, Jo. You don’t look quite so tired, now.”

“I feel a little better for it.”

“Once you’ve had something to eat, you can have an hour to write in, if you’d like?”

“Yes, please.”

“Here comes Daisy with your sandwich. I want you to eat it all, as well.” Jem gave her a hand to sit up and took the plate from Daisy, as she came in with it. He passed it to Jo, who grimaced at him before beginning to eat. Jo managed about half before she gave up. Jem said nothing, but removed the plate. He was just relived to see her eat something and knew her appetite would take time to return.

“Here you are, Jo.” He passed her the things he and Daisy had collected from the study. “Do you want me to stay with you, or would you prefer to be alone?”

“Alone, I think.”

“I’ll come back in an hour, unless you need me before, then.” He left her alone, ensuring the door was left ajar. Jo looked at the door and then at the things in her lap. She tidied the paper into a neat pile and picked up her pen. Checking it was full, she picked up the book to lean on and the top sheet of paper. Then she paused. She was unsure about beginning, now she had the paper in front of her. She glanced around the room and she caught sight of a picture of Jack and herself on the dressing table. In direct defiance of Jem’s orders to stay in bed, she climbed out and crossed the room to pick it up. She stroked her finger over the image of her husband and felt the tears pricking the back of her eyes. Taking the picture back to the bed, she climbed in and picked up the book and paper once more. This time, she began to write, slowly at first, then faster as the words flowed. She paused every few minutes to glance at the picture next to her, but then continued on, her tears mingling with the ink on the paper.

When Jem returned an hour later, he found her still writing furiously and with tearstains on her face. He saw paper was littered across the bed and a few sheets had fallen to the floor. Picking them up, he passed them over to her as she paused for a second.

“Time to stop, Jo.” He spoke quietly, but Jo recognised from his tone that he wasn’t prepared to argue the point. Reluctantly, she replaced the cap on her pen and he took it from her. “Sort your sheets, while I fetch you a sponge to wipe your face with.” He disappeared off to the bathroom, putting the pen in his pocket as he went. Jo picked up the sheets of paper, putting them into order as she did so. When they were in a neat pile she placed them on the book and put the picture on top, ready to pass to Jem when he came back. Then she changed her mind and picked the picture off the pile intending to stand it on the bedside cabinet. Jem came back into the room as she was trying to find a space for it and took it from her.

“Where do you want it?”

“On the cabinet, please. You might have to make space for it.” Jem looked at the clutter on her bedside cabinet and piled the books up to make room. When he’d stood the picture up, he passed her the sponge he’d brought in with him.

“Wipe your face, Jo. You’ll feel better for it and then you can lay back down and rest.” Jo obeyed and she was soon tucked up under the covers again. Jem took the pile of papers from the bed and placed them on the dressing table, out of Jo’s reach, before coming back to sit beside her.

“Has writing helped a little?”

“I don’t know. I know it worked when I was having those nightmares when we first came to Howells, but it took a few weeks before I realised.”

“I’ll let you spend an hour at it each day for now, and we’ll see how you go on. You really need to be resting properly after that last mad flight of yours. Those nightmares you keep having aren’t helping you to rest. The only reason I’m allowing you time to write is because I think it’ll be beneficial to you in the long run.”

“Thank you.”

“Do you want someone to sit with you this afternoon?”

“I’d like Robin if she’s not busy, please. She promised to come and sit with me.”

“I’ll ask her. She came to sit with you while you were sleeping this morning, so she may have other things to do this afternoon.” Jo nodded her acceptance and Jem departed to seek Robin. She was happy to go and sit with Jo again and went off upstairs whilst Jem dropped into a chair in the lounge.


	20. Chapter 20

The next evening, Jem went to check on Jo to find her out of bed and rifling through a drawer.

“Jo! What are you doing? Get back into bed! You’re on complete bedrest at the moment.”

“Not until I find it.” Jo turned to face him and he saw she was looking distressed. He came over to where she was standing and took her arm. She resisted him and tried to turn back to the drawer.

“Come back to bed, Jo.” He firmly steered her to the bed and helped her back in, tucking the covers around her. “Now, what have you lost?”

“The rosary Jack gave me when we were still at the Sonnalpe.” Tears welled up as she spoke.

“Don’t cry. We’ll find it for you. Do you know when you last saw it?”

“I can’t remember. I thought it was on the bedside cabinet, but I can’t see it there.”

“Let me have a look for you. There’s so much clutter on here, I’m surprised you can find anything.” Jem said as he removed the books and scraps of paper covered in Jo’s writing. The rosary wasn’t to be found on top of the cabinet, so he replaced everything and pulled it out to check behind. Still nothing.

“It’s definitely not here, Jo. Are you sure it was up here?”

“I think so. I’ve always kept it by the bed or under my pillow and it’s not there either.”

“I’ll look underneath in case it’s fallen off the mattress.” Jem was as good as his word, but he stood back up empty-handed. “It’s not here, Jo. I’ll go and ask the others to have a search through the house for you.” He disappeared off downstairs, where he put his request to Madge, Robin and Daisy. They were more than happy to hunt through the house for the missing rosary, knowing how much it meant to Jo. Jem returned to the bedroom in time to prevent Jo from getting back out of bed again.

“Lay back down, Jo. I’m not having you getting up and looking for it, so you may make your mind up to staying there. If you don’t, you’ll be going back to the Sanatorium where you’ll be on bedrest for far longer than a couple of weeks.”

“No, Jem, I…”

“Then lay back down. If you want to stay here, you’ll do as I’ve asked.” The door opened to admit Madge and he turned towards her.

“It’s not in the house, I’m afraid. We’ve searched everywhere.”

“Then where is it?” Jo struggled upright, despite Jem’s words barely a minute ago. “It can’t be lost forever, surely?” The tears she had been fighting till then trickled down her cheeks as she realised the treasured item Jack had given her when she had first been admitted to the Sanatorium was missing.

“Shhh, Jo. We’ll find it. It can’t have gone far. Lie back down and stop crying.” Jem helped her to lie down again and handed her a handkerchief. He stayed silent until he was satisfied she was comfortable and was getting herself back under control.

“Have you taken it to the Sanatorium for any appointments?”

“No. I’ve only ever had it there when you’ve admitted me.” 

“Has it been dropped in your handbag along with something else?”

“I don’t think so.”

“Would you like me to look?” Madge asked. Jo nodded her agreement and she went off to check. She returned quickly and shook her head.

“I wonder if it’s at our house? You stayed there, when you had that cold a couple of years ago,” Jem thought aloud. “How long is it since you last saw it?”

“I can’t remember. I’ve only ever wanted it when I’ve been lonely or wanted it to calm me down. I didn’t need it when Jack was home,” Jo replied.

“Then it’s possible it’s there. Madge, will you go and ring Marie and see if she’s seen it when she’s cleaned in the guest room?”

“Of course. If it’s dropped behind something, she may have missed it. She doesn’t move the furniture in there very often since the room’s so rarely used.” She went off to ring her maid and ask her to search the guest room thoroughly for the rosary.

Madge returned twenty minutes later, a smile on her face.

“It was underneath the bedside cabinet in the guest room. It had somehow managed to get well under, so hadn’t been noticed when Marie cleaned in there. She’s sending Andreas round with it now.”

“I told you we’d find it, Jo,” Jem smiled.

“Thank you,” she whispered. Tiredness was creeping up on her, now and she was struggling to keep her eyes open. Jem was about to tell her to get some sleep, when he heard a car draw up outside the cottage. Running downstairs, he opened the door and took the rosary from Andreas with a word of thanks. He then took the precious item upstairs and gave it to Jo. She just smiled weakly at him and rolled over, the rosary linked in her fingers. The next minute, she was sleeping. Jem turned the lamp on and drew his wife out of the room, leaving her alone.


	21. Chapter 21

The next week passed in a blur of sleeping, writing and eating to Jo. She was still having nightmares, but they were becoming less violent. Jem saw that she was beginning to sleep a little better at night, despite the nightmares, and that she was able to doze back off after the horrors she’d just dreamed. Jack’s wisdom of allowing Jo to write was helping heal her more than anything Jem could give her, for which he was grateful. He knew that giving her drugs would not help her in the long term, and that she was facing her demons in the only way she knew how. 

Jem still refused to allow Jo any more time up than the hour she spent writing. He was determined that she should rest as much as possible, for the sake of both her own health and that of the baby. Jo had argued and cajoled to no effect. Jem was adamant that she should stay where she was for at least another week. He also informed her that if he caught her out of bed again, he would take her back to the Sanatorium where she could expect to be kept until after the birth of the baby. Since she had no wish to go back there, Jo subsided. Jem was satisfied that she wouldn’t deliberately defy him again and went off, leaving her to the tender mercies of her sister and close friends. Jo had finally allowed her sister to inform her friends of Jack’s death, though she had refused to see anyone other than Frieda, Elisaveta, Miss Annersley and Miss Wilson. Madge was understanding and did not force the issue. She knew her sister was grieving and the last thing Jo needed was sympathy from well-meaning friends. 

The following Friday, a letter arrived from the Admiralty, confirming that Jack had been swept overboard by a wave and, despite numerous attempts to launch a boat to search for him, they had been unable to do so. The captain of the ship had written that he had been an exemplary officer and had been proud to have Jack as part of his crew. The letters brought little comfort to Jo, though she now had more idea of what had happened. She discovered that a storm had been in full force and that Jack had gone to the aid an injured crewman on deck. As he was helping the injured man back to safety, he had been hit on the head himself by a piece of falling debris which had come loose in the force of the storm. The injured man had seen Jack crumple under the force of the blow just as a large wave had swept across the deck. When the water had receded, Jack was no longer there. Despite others searching for him, they failed to find him.

Jo handed the letters to Jem when she had read them, her tears falling freely. He read them silently, before returning them to their envelopes and placing them on Jo’s bedside cabinet.

“At least you know what happened, Jo. It was a freak accident, nothing anyone could have predicted.”

“Do you think he knew what was happening?”

“No. I think the blow to his head would have knocked him out cold, so he’d have known nothing.”

“Are you sure? I’d hate to think he was in pain when he died.”

“I’m sure, Jo. Don’t fret over it. He’d want you to remember him as he was when he left, not how he died.” Jem squeezed her hand and she managed a wan smile.

“I’ll try, Jem. It’ll be hard though.”

“I know. Just remember that we’re all here to listen if you want to talk about him, or anything else that’s worrying you. You aren’t alone and you never will be, not while you have us and your friends around.

“Thank you.”

“Get some rest now. Would like me to stay?”

“No. I think I’d rather be alone for a while.”

“I’ll look in in an hour or so, then.” Jem rose and, squeezing Jo’s hand again to reassure her, he left her to herself. Jo rolled over in bed to face the empty space Jack once occupied and allowed her thoughts to wander back over their life together. As she lay there remembering, her eyelids drooped and she was soon sleeping, dreaming about a walk she once took with him to the summit of the mountain on which the Sonnalpe stood.


	22. Chapter 22

Three weeks after the fateful cable informing her of her husband’s demise, Jo was busy writing for her allotted hour when she heard a knock at the front door. Ignoring the muffled conversation, she continued on. The pile of papers had grown considerably since that first week. Her nightmares were much less violent and were more like bad dreams, from which she was able to wake herself. She was still confined to her bed, though Jem had allowed her to spend the afternoons sitting up. Once he was happy with her progress and that she no longer needed them in the night, Jem and Madge had returned to their own house. Robin and Daisy had both returned to school two weeks earlier, once the initial shock had worn off.

Jo was generally left alone in the mornings so she could rest. Either Madge or one of her friends usually came around lunchtime to spend the afternoon with her, leaving once Robin and Daisy arrived home from school. Today was no exception and her sister had arrived just before twelve o’clock. Jem had accompanied Madge as he wanted to see how Jo was faring.

Jo looked up in surprise when her door was pushed open to admit Jem. She glanced at the clock, puzzled.

“I’ve only been writing for half an hour, Jem.”

“I know, but this just came for you and I thought you ought to have it now.” He held out an orange envelope to her. Jo shivered, remembering what the last orange envelope had brought. Reluctantly, she took it from him and opened it. Jem watched, hoping that it was good news this time. The words came into focus and she read them.

_‘Bad head wound. Will write soon. Love Jack.’_ Jo flung it away from her with a cry. 

“No! It’s a lie! It can’t be right!”

“Jo? What is it?” Jem was at a loss to understand her. He bent down and picked the paper up from the floor and read it for himself. He saw the distress on Jo’s face and sat down in the chair beside the bed.

“I hope it’s what it says, and that Jack is somehow alive. All we can do is wait for a letter to arrive.”

“I don’t know if I can. I’m stuck in limbo, not knowing whether to believe that wire or not. How can I wait for a letter to arrive?”

“You don’t have a choice. We have no way of knowing where he is. We don’t even know where he was when he was swept overboard. There’s no way anyone is going to spend time looking for one person in the middle of a war.”

“I know. It’s just… I don’t want to believe it in case it isn’t true. I daren’t put my faith in it being true to then be told that he really is dead.”

“I can understand why you would think that. I think the best thing is to try and continue on as you have been doing. If it is from Jack, he’ll have a letter in the post by now. Try not to fret over it and make sure you keep eating. I know you, Jo, and I don’t want to hear that you’ve lost your appetite, otherwise you’ll be back to lying down all day again.”

“I’ll try.”

“That’s what I want to hear. Would you like to finish your writing?”

“I think so. It might help.”

“I’ll leave you to it, then. I’ll come back in half an hour to help you with your things.” Jem stood back up and smiled. “It’ll turn out all right, Jo. I know it will.” He turned and left Jo alone again. She watched him leave the room and picked her pen up once more. The telegram was on the bedside cabinet, where Jem had placed it. Jo glanced at it and picked up a fresh sheet of paper. After a minute of staring into space, she began a letter to Jack.

When Jem returned half an hour later, Jo was writing as if her life depended on it. She was reluctant to put her pen down and tidy the sheets up. Jem was adamant, though. He removed the pen from her hand and gave her two minutes to order the papers scattered across the bed. Sighing, Jo did as she was asked and ten minutes later saw her sitting with a cup of tea and her sister beside her.

Jo found it hard to settle down to sleep that night. Madge and Jem had left just before dinner and Jo was now alone since Robin and Daisy had preparation to finish. She lay in bed, trying to order her thoughts, but they were swirling too quickly for her. She picked Jack’s rosary up from the bedside cabinet and lay holding it, allowing the beads to slip almost silently through her fingers. The rhythmic motion helped a little, but she was too wound up to be able to do anything other than try to control her thoughts. She heard Robin and Daisy come upstairs and their bedroom doors close as they went to bed. Still she couldn’t sleep. She lay tossing and turning, hearing every hour chime on the mantle clock below in the lounge. She wished she could turn her mind off enough to be able to sleep. 

As the clock chimed six, Jo gave up in despair and picked up a book. It didn’t hold her attention, but she doggedly stuck to it. She heard Robin and Daisy moving about once more, getting ready to go to school. Daisy came in with breakfast for her. Jo sat up and Daisy saw how tired she looked.

“Are you all right Auntie Jo?”

“I haven’t slept very well. Would you do me a favour and ring Jem for me, please? Ask him if he can come over this morning.”

“Of course I will. You eat that toast and drink your tea.” Daisy disappeared and Jo heard her bound downstairs, followed by the muffled sound of her voice as she spoke into the telephone. She looked at the toast and knew she didn’t want it, but Daisy would try to coax her to eat if she didn’t make an attempt. Five minutes later, Daisy came back into the room. 

“Uncle Jem said he’ll come as soon as he can. He’s at the Sanatorium at the moment. Have you eaten any of that toast, Auntie Jo?”

“A little. I’m just not hungry this morning.” 

“At least try to eat some more for me.” Jo shook her head and Daisy took the plate and the empty cup. “Do you need anything else this morning?”

“Could you pass my writing things over?” Daisy obliged and dumped the pile onto the bed next to Jo.

“I thought you only wrote in an afternoon?”

“I do normally, but I thought I’d write now for a change.” Robin’s voice could be heard calling upstairs for Daisy

“I’d better get going, or we’ll be late.”

“Okay. Have a good day.” Daisy kissed her, and departed to get ready to leave for school. Jo heard the door close and knew she was alone in the house. She searched through her sheets until she found the letter she’d started to Jack. Picking up her pen, she continued from where she had left off the previous day.

Jem arrived at the cottage two hours after Daisy had rung. He let himself in, and quietly mounted the stairs. He had been concerned by what Daisy had told him and sincerely hoped that he would find Jo asleep. When he entered her room she was busy writing and the bed was littered with sheets of paper. As she glanced up at the noise of the door opening, Jem could see how exhausted she was. Dark circles under her eyes were vivid against the intense whiteness of her skin.

“How are you, Jo?”

“Tired. I didn’t sleep last night. I couldn’t stop the thoughts swirling.”

“Hmmm. I don’t really want to give you anything to make you sleep if it can be avoided. Have you spent your hour writing?”

“Yes. Daisy passed me everything before she left.”

“So you’ve had more than an hour at it, then. Tidy everything up, Jo and I’ll put it back on the side for you.” Jo reluctantly did as he asked. “Lay back down and rest, while I go and make us both a cup of tea. When he returned half an hour later, Jo was lying down, but she was still wide awake. He put a cup of tea on the bedside cabinet for her and sat down in the chair. 

“Who’s coming to sit with you this afternoon?”

“Frieda is.”

“I think it might be best if she just came in and checked on you, rather than kept you company. Hopefully, the quietness will help you to sleep. I’ll call back again after dinner.” Jem stood up and went towards the door. He turned back to her as he opened it. “Don’t worry if you can’t sleep. I’ll give you something tonight in that case, but I’d rather you try and manage without first. See you later.”

“Bye.” Jo watched the door close behind him, and heard the front door a minute later. Picking up the rosary once more, she rolled over and closed her eyes as she played with the beads. 

Try as she might, Jo was still unable to sleep. Each time she thought she’d cleared her mind, a new thought would appear. Frieda had called in and had some lunch with her, leaving her alone again afterwards. The hours dragged onwards, each chime of the clock below sounding loud in the quietness. Robin and Daisy returned from school and came up to check on her. Jo was thankful for the distraction. The silence was becoming oppressive, now. It seemed determined to keep her awake, no matter how hard she tried to rest. Her head began to ache and she wished she could just disappear into oblivion. 

Robin came into the room bearing a tray. The sound of her placing it onto the dressing table was agony to Jo. She struggled to sit up and winced when the light was turned on. As Robin settled the tray on her knee, she shivered.

“What’s wrong, Jo?” 

“I feel lousy. My head is pounding.”

“I’ll put the lamp on and turn the main light off for you.” Robin suited action to word as she spoke and the pounding in Jo’s head slowed slightly once the main light was off. “You ought to try and eat something. I’ve only put a small portion out for you.” Jo reluctantly picked up her cutlery and managed a few mouthfuls before giving up. 

“I can’t, Robin. It’s making my head worse.” Jo closed her eyes in an attempt to shut out the pain.

“Do you want the lamp on?”

“No. Jem’s supposed to be calling back round. Will you see if you can hurry him up?”

“I’ll do my best.” Robin picked up the tray and turned out the lamp for Jo. She made her way slowly across the dark room and slipped out. Once downstairs, she returned to the kitchen and found that Jem had just arrived. She quickly explained to him what had just happened.

“I’ll go straight up. I’ll come and find you both before I leave.” 

When he entered Jo’s room, he turned the lamp on at the other side of the bed to where Jo lay. She rolled over to face away from the light. Jem came around the bed and crouched down so he was on a level with her.

“Did you get any sleep this afternoon, Jo?”

“No. Every little sound kept me awake and my head feels as if someone is constantly hammering inside it.” Tears trickled down her cheeks as she spoke, for the pain was unbearable, now.

“In that case, we’d best get you to sleep as speedily as possible, then.” He delved in his bag and produced a bottle. Uncapping it, he shook a couple of tablets out and handed them to Jo. Once he’d replaced the cap, he helped her to sit up slightly and passed her the water from the bedside cabinet. Once she’d swallowed them, he gently eased her back and crouched down again.

“They should take hold in five minutes or so. Hopefully, once they wear off, you’ll stay asleep for a good while longer. I’ll stay with you till you’re over, and I’ll come back in the morning to check on you.”

“Thank you. I hope this headache goes as well.”

“It should do, but if not, I’ll leave some painkillers on the side for you to take in the morning.”

“Jem?” Jo’s voice was becoming drowsy, now.

“What is it Jo?”

“I hope… Jack… is alive… and… comes home… soon.” Her eyelids drooped and she struggled to open them to look at him.

“I hope so, too. Don’t fight it, Jo. Go to sleep, now. There’s a good girl.” 

“You’re a… brick, Jem,” she mumbled as sleep finally overtook her. Jem just smiled down at her as he rose and sat in the chair. He found out the painkillers and left a couple next to Jo’s glass in case she should need them, before going to turn out the lamp and leaving her to slumber on.

When Jo woke the next morning, she felt very groggy and disorientated. As she rolled over, her head began to ache again. She propped herself up on one elbow and spotted the painkillers Jem had left for her. She took them and lay back down again, closing her eyes once more. She never heard Robin and Daisy moving about as they got ready for school. Daisy peeped in at her, but left once she saw that Jo was still asleep.

When Jo next woke, Jem was sitting beside her. He smiled as she rolled over and looked up at him.

“Hello, Jo. How do you feel now?”

“A bit groggy, still.”

“That should wear off soon. I see you took the painkillers. How’s your headache?”

“Better than it was.”

“Good. You should eat now you’re awake, since you had barely anything yesterday. I’ll just ask Madge to make you a tray up, I won’t be a minute.” He disappeared through the door and Jo heard him go downstairs. She stared at the ceiling, hoping the tiredness would recede. When Jem re-appeared, she was just beginning to doze back off again. The chair creaked as he sat back down and Jo jerked awake.

“Sorry, Jo! I didn’t mean to wake you. Madge will be up in a minute with something to eat.” Jo just nodded. The door opened a moment later to admit her sister with breakfast. Jo struggled upright and took the tray from her. Once she’d finished, Jem removed the tray for her.

“Madge is going to stay all day today, to keep you company. I have to get off to the Sanatorium, though.” Jo smiled at having company all day, and her sister returned it as she dropped into the chair Jem had vacated. Jem kissed his wife and left the sisters alone.


	23. Chapter 23

A week later, Jo was reading when she heard the letterbox rattle. She heard footsteps in the hall as Robin picked up the post and took it through to the kitchen to sort. Jo knew that she would be putting the kettle on to make them a drink, before she brought the mail upstairs. 

Robin came into the room fifteen minutes later. Jo put her book on the bedside cabinet and accepted the drink Robin handed to her. As they drank, they chatted about what had been happening at school and Robin told her about the expulsion of Betty Wynne-Davies after she’d given vital information to a Nazi spy. She also told Jo about Flora and Fiona’s unintentional involvement through careless talk about the chart. Jo felt sorry for them, realising that she had neglected her small charges woefully over the past few weeks.

“We should have them home for the weekend. I’ve not paid enough attention to them of late and I might have been able to help them.”

“We break up for Christmas on Friday, Jo. They’ll be coming home anyway. You’ve had enough to deal with these last few weeks. They’ve both been fine at school. Daisy and I have kept an eye on them for you.”

“Are you sure, Robin? Is Christmas really that close?”

“Yes. It’s the nineteenth today, so less than a week to go.”

“I haven’t even begun to do any Christmas shopping, yet. I’m never going to have chance either if Jem won’t allow me to get up.”

“Don’t worry. I’ll take Daisy on Saturday and we’ll go and do it for you. I’m sure Madge will have the twins for the day.”

“But they’ll have only just come home. They can’t be sent away again the next day. I’m sure I can manage to look after them.”

“I don’t think so, Jo. You’re not in any state to look after them, yet.” Jem’s voice suddenly joined in the conversation and the two occupants of the room turned to see him standing in the doorway. “Robin is right. They can come to us for the day. We’ll make sure they’re home for dinner. That’ll give you time to get back and wrap everything, shouldn’t it?”

“Yes. If we get up early and get into Armiford for when the shops open, we should have plenty of time. We’ll drop the twins off on our way, if we may?”

“Of course. If you’ve both finished, I’d like a word with Jo.”

Robin stood up and collected the cups. As she placed them back on the tray, she remembered the post and handed a small bundle of letters to Jo. Picking the tray up, she set off back downstairs, leaving Jem alone with Jo.

Jo glanced through the pile, taking little notice until she suddenly recognised the familiar handwriting on one near the bottom. Dropping the rest onto the bed, she held it with shaking hands, unable to do anything more. Jem noticed and came across to her.

“What is it, Jo?”

“It’s Jack’s writing,” she whispered, holding it so he could see the address.

“It certainly looks like his scrawl. Open it and see. Looking at the envelope won’t give you any more information.” 

“What if it’s just his final letter before he died? It might not be one telling me he’s alive.”

“Jo, you have to face it and open the letter. Would you like me to stay or would you prefer to be alone?”

“I don’t know.”

“How about I give you ten minutes and then come back?” Jo nodded at this idea and Jem rose, leaving the door ajar as he left the room. Jo stared at the envelope for a few more minutes before turning it over and ripping it open. The letter fell onto the covers and Jo dropped the envelope to pick it up. Her hands were shaking and the writing danced before her eyes for a moment. Then she focused on the words and read:

_‘My darling Jo,_

_I’m so sorry I haven’t been able to write before now. I hope you received my cable telling you I had a head wound…’_

The words blurred once more as Jo realised she was crying. Jack was alive! The strain of the past few weeks when she believed he would never come back home to her engulfed her and she rolled over to sob into the pillow. This time they were tears of joy. Jem found her in the same position when he returned ten minutes later.

“Jo? What is it?” He was suddenly anxious, but his fears were removed when Jo’s muffled voice replied from the pillow.

“He’s alive!”

“That’s wonderful news! What else does he say?” Jo pushed herself back upright revealing red eyes. Jem adjusted her pillows so she found it easier to breathe.

“I don’t know.”

“Well, read it and see.” Jo picked the letter back up from the covers and read the letter, slowly. Jack’s handwriting was hard to decipher at the best of times and this letter was no exception. It was possibly even worse thanks to his injury. Eventually, Jo looked up at Jem and smiled. It was the first time he’d seen her smile properly for a long time.

“He-he says he’s on his way home. He says not to write as he’ll probably reach England before this letter. Oh, Jem, I can’t believe it. He’s coming home!” Her tears fell unheeded as she handed the letter to Jem. 

“May I read it?” Jo just nodded as she searched for a handkerchief. Jem passed her a clean one, and then settled into the chair to read the letter. He looked serious as he read between the lines and realised that Jack was lucky to be alive. He also grasped that, reassuring as the letter was to Jo, his friend was still not completely out of the woods. He would need medical care himself for some time to come. He folded the sheets and gave them back to Jo.

“At least you know he’s alive and coming home. I came to tell you that you have an appointment at the Sanatorium tomorrow. If your X-rays show some improvement, I’m going to allow you to get up.”

“Really? Oh, Jem, I hope so. I’m sick of being stuck in here.”

“There’s a catch though, Jo. If I do allow you to get up again, you are not to go walking anywhere. You’ve risked yourself too many times and I’m not going to allow you to set yourself back again. If you do, I shall re-admit you until after the baby is born, whether Jack is at home or not.” Jo reluctantly nodded her agreement. “Do you have a headache,?”

“A small one.”

“Lay down then, and I’ll get you some painkillers. You can rest for a few hours before you have your writing things.” Jo did as she was told and Jem gave her a couple of tablets. Once she had swallowed them, he drew the curtains and left her to sleep.


	24. Chapter 24

The next morning, Jem came to collect Jo for her appointment. She was dressed and waiting in her room since she felt unsteady on her feet after spending the past month in bed. Jem gave her a hand downstairs and out to the car.

“Have you got something to occupy you while you’re waiting around, Jo? You’ll be there all morning, I’m afraid.”

“I have a book and also pen and paper.”

“Good. I’ll just lock up for you, and then we’ll get off.” Jem was as good as his word and they arrived at the Sanatorium in good time.

“Go straight to X-ray first. It’ll be a couple of hours before they get developed and passed to me, so you may as well find yourself a quiet corner in the canteen. Will you be all right walking alone?”

“I’ll manage.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

“Take your time, then. I’ll see you in a couple of hours or so.” Jem departed to his office and Jo turned towards the X-ray department. She walked near to the wall in case she needed it for support. She hadn’t realised quite how much her bump had altered her balance. When she arrived at her destination, she was thankful to sink into a chair to try and regain her breath. 

“I can see why he doesn’t want me to go walking,” she muttered to herself. “I don’t think I’d want to anyway, now.”

She heard her name called and heaved herself back out of the chair. Following the nurse into the changing area, she undressed and put on the gown provided. Then she was led into the X-ray room and fitted with a lead apron to cover her growing bump and protect the baby. She hoped they’d hurry up and get it over with, for the apron was heavy and she was still a little unbalanced. 

Thankfully, the X-rays were taken rapidly and the nurse re-appeared to remove the apron and escort her back to the changing area. Jo changed quickly and then set off towards the canteen. She was tired now and wanted a chance to sit down and rest with a warm drink.

Jo was glad to collapse into a chair when she reached the canteen. Luckily, the lady behind the counter recognised her and brought a drink over. She would have lingered to talk, but other people came in shortly afterwards and she had to go and serve them, much to Jo’s relief. Jo sipped her tea and picked her book out of her bag.

The next time, Jo glanced at the clock, she gasped. She had five minutes until her appointment and she still had to get to Jem’s office. Hurriedly stuffing her book back into her bag, she stood up and set off towards the main reception area. She tried to hurry, but found she was becoming breathless and had to stop. She finally made it to reception with a minute to spare and collapsed onto a chair to try and regain her breath again. She hoped Jem was running late and she wouldn’t be too breathless when he called her.

She was in luck. She was almost recovered when her name was called. Dragging herself out of the chair, she went across to Jem’s office and he ushered her in. He noted her breathing, but said nothing. He escorted her across to the desk and sat down behind it where he could look at his notes.

“I’ve had a good look at your X-rays, Jo.”

“And?”

“They’re not as bad as I feared. The last month of bedrest has helped considerably.”

“Does that mean I can stay up?”

“Within reason. I’m going to restrict your time up to eight hours for now.”

“Eight hours?” Jo’s face fell at this news.

“Yes. I’m also going to insist that you have two hours rest after lunch again.”

“But why?”

“You still need to rest and I know your trick of overdoing things, even when you don’t intend to. You still have Flora and Fiona to look after, and Robin and Daisy will be both be at home as well. Not to mention Jack when he eventually arrives back. You’re seven months pregnant and the baby is pushing up into your chest now. I don’t want to risk you getting too breathless.”

“It feels like you’ve just put me right back to when I left the Sanatorium on Guernsey. I only had eight hours up then.” Jo brushed away a stray tear impatiently.

“I know it does, but your lung isn’t as good as I’d like. By putting these restrictions on you, I hope that there’s more improvement when you come for X-rays next month. Then I can re-assess you again.”

“By which time, I’ll be eight months pregnant and have even less chance of increasing my time up. I wish it’d never happened, now. Then I wouldn’t be looking at being re-admitted.”

“Jo, don’t be so pessimistic. I want to try and keep you out of here if I possibly can. You can help by doing what I’ve asked and taking care of yourself as much as possible.”

“I doubt I’ll be going anywhere anyway. You’ve forbidden me to go walking and I found it hard enough walking around in here today.”

“Today’s the first time you’ve done anything in a month. It’s bound to have tired you out. I have one more person to see, then I’ll take you back home and you can rest this afternoon.” Taking this as dismissal, Jo stood up and went to the door. Jem came across to her before she opened it. “Try not to worry, Jo. Everyone wants you to have this baby safely and we all want to help you as much as we can.”

“I know. Thank you.” Jem held the door open for her.

“I’ll try to be as quick as I can. Sit near the entrance, so you have less distance to walk to the car.” Jo nodded and set off towards the chairs at the far side of the reception, whilst Jem returned to his office and prepared for his next patient.

Twenty minutes later, Jem appeared in front of Jo and escorted her out to the car. Once they were home, he saw her inside and made her a sandwich, before seeing her upstairs to bed. 

“Take your time on the stairs when you go back down. I don’t want any phone calls telling me you’ve been found in a heap at the bottom.”

“I will.”

I’ll call in again in the next few days to see how you’re managing. Let me know if you hear any more news of Jack won’t you?”

“Of course.”

“Take care and I’ll see you soon.”

“Bye, Jem.” He left her alone and she heard the front door close behind him. Rolling over, she felt under her pillow and located the rosary. Soon she was sleeping, the beads entangled round her fingers.


	25. Chapter 25

Jo was sitting in the lounge on Friday, waiting for everyone to arrive home for the Christmas holidays. The Christmas play had been held the previous day and Jo had attended with her sister. Madge had written the Christmas plays since the school’s first one in Tyrol many years ago. Jo had been asked to write it this year, but had been unable to finish it in time, so Madge had passed on one she had written, but never used.

A knock came at the door and Jo went to answer it. A boy stood on the steps holding out an orange envelope. Jo took it from him with a word of thanks and closed the door again. She opened it where she was standing.

_‘Reached England. In Netley hospital near Southampton. Will write soon. Love Jack.’_

Jo slumped against the wall, relieved to hear that Jack was back on English soil again. She finally turned to the telephone and rang Jem to tell him the news. When she had finished, Jo went to put the telegram with the other items she’d received from Jack and then continued into the kitchen to put the kettle on. Just as it began to whistle, she heard the car pulling up, followed by the front door opening to admit the girls. 

Jo greeted them all happily and promptly sent them upstairs to change. She collected the tray she had prepared and carried it through to the lounge, where she set it on the coffee table. Soon, they were all in the warmth of the lounge, cup of tea in hand and discussing what had happened during their final day and what they planned to do over the Christmas holiday.

“We’ll all be going over to the Round House on Christmas Day, as usual,” Jo told them. “I thought we’d have a quiet morning, and then go across in time for the meal.”

“That sounds lovely, Mrs Maynard,” said Fiona. “Do you think Shiena will be home at all?”

“I don’t know, Fiona. Hopefully, she’ll get a few days leave some time during the holidays, but we mustn’t hope for it. If she doesn’t, we’ll make sure you have a happy Christmas.”

“Thank you. It won’t be the same without Shiena, though,” Flora added.

“You’ll have to introduce us to some of your Christmas customs. I’m sure you must do some things slightly differently in the Hebrides,” Daisy put in.

“Yes. That would be nice.” Jo replied. The discussion moved onto Christmas customs and how everyone looked forwards to different parts more than others. The twins told them of how New Year was celebrated more than Christmas in Scotland and told tales they had heard from their brothers.

Their chatter filled the time until dinner when Robin and Flora disappeared to the kitchen to prepare it. Once they had eaten and Daisy and Fiona had cleared away and washed up, Jo’s eight hours were up practically over. She reluctantly departed upstairs to bed, bidding the twins to come and say goodnight in half an hour. She trusted Robin and Daisy to lock up and go to bed by themselves.

The next morning, the four girls were all up early. They ate their breakfast and then piled into the car, leaving Jo alone for the day. Flora and Fiona were duly dropped at the Round House, where they were greeted with shouts of joy from Bride and Primula, whilst Robin and Daisy continued on to Armiford to do the Christmas shopping. Jo had given them a list and some money as well as instructions to treat themselves to a nice lunch. 

Jo was still in bed when she heard the car depart. She rolled over and decided that she would stay where she was for another couple of hours before she needed to get up. It was a bitterly cold day and she knew that Robin or Daisy would have lit the fire in the lounge for her. The room should be pleasantly warm by the time she went downstairs. She closed her eyes and slept.

When Jo next woke, it was just ten o’clock. She rolled over and felt the baby kick her bladder. Placing her hand over her bump, she waited for the next kick, which happened a few minutes later. Then she realised she needed the bathroom, so hauled herself out of bed as fast as she could. 

Half an hour later she was curled up on the sofa in the warmth of the lounge. She spent the rest of the morning reading her book, since the study was too cold to use. Now she knew that Jack was safely back in England, she felt much happier and her imagination wasn’t playing tricks on her anymore. When the mantle clock chimed twelve, she went to make herself a sandwich and a warm drink, taking them back to the lounge. Once she’d eaten, she deposited the pots in the kitchen to wash later and went back up to bed for the two hours that Jem had decreed she should have again. She alternately dozed and wondered how Jack was faring in Southampton.

When the clock chimed three, Jo heard a car pulling up outside the cottage. Rising, she saw that Robin and Daisy were home. She quickly dressed and started downstairs to greet them. They entered with armfuls of parcels which Jo directed them to put in the lounge. She went to put the kettle on and find scissors and tape from the kitchen drawer. Just as the kettle began to whistle, Robin appeared and told her to go back into the warmth. Jo did so, since she was feeling cold standing in the kitchen. Soon, the three of them were sitting down at the table in the lounge with cups of tea and wrapping presents, whilst Daisy told Jo about their trip.

Jem brought Flora and Fiona back just before dinner. He only stopped long enough for a quick word with Jo to see how she was doing. The twins were full of their own day during dinner, telling the others what they had been doing. Jo noticed significant looks pass between the two small girls a few times and suspected that they hadn’t just been at the Round House all day as they claimed. She let the question alone, however, not wishing to spoil their secret.


	26. Chapter 26

Early on Monday morning, Jem drove to Armiford to catch a train to Netley, on the outskirts of Southampton. He hoped to get there and back in the day if he could, but he’d warned Madge that it might not be possible. He drove quickly through the leafy lanes, only slowing down as he reached the outskirts of Armiford. When he arrived at the station, he parked the car in a corner of the yard and locked it before going into the office to buy his ticket. He was soon standing on the platform, waiting for the train to come steaming in. He wrapped his scarf more firmly around his neck and pulled his hat down on his head since the wind was biting and the temperature was below freezing. The sun wouldn’t be up for another couple of hours, yet, so he waited in the dark, hoping that the train would be on time. 

Soon enough, he heard the familiar whistle and stepped forward ready to climb on as soon as it stopped. He soon found a seat and, removing his big coat, gloves, hat and scarf, he settled down with a book to read, once he was sure the blackout blind was firmly closed. The journey was a long one, with a couple of changes on the way. He had a picnic lunch in his bag and plenty to keep him occupied until he reached his destination.

It was after twelve o’clock when the train finally drew into Netley station. Jem was soon walking towards the barrier, his ticket in his hand. Once he had given it up, he found himself outside the station and he looked round to see if he could see a taxi. On finding none, he noticed a bus stop and went to check the times. He was in luck. It was only a ten minute wait until the next bus turned up. 

When it arrived, he asked for a ticket to the military hospital and was soon standing outside a long building, three storeys high. It seemed to stretch as far as Jem could see in either direction. He walked briskly up to the entrance and spoke to the person on duty there. They ushered him into a small waiting area, where he was left alone.

Eventually, a doctor came to speak to him and Jem asked if it was possible see Captain Maynard. The doctor refused to allow him at first, stating that the Captain was sleeping. Jem was persuasive in the end and the doctor reluctantly led him through a maze of corridors until they reached a ward well away from the others. The doctor explained that the ward was apart from the others to allow the occupants the quiet needed and told Jem that he could stay for fifteen minutes. Inside, Jem found there were twenty-four occupants, all with head wounds. He quickly picked out Jack and went over to him. He could see that the younger man was in pain. As Jem reached the bedside, Jack opened his eyes.

“Jem! I didn’t expect to see you!”

“I thought I’d come and see how you were doing, old chap. How are you?”

“I’ve been better, but at least I’m still alive.”

“Do you know what happened?”

“Not fully. I remember something hitting me on the head and the next thing I knew, I was in a makeshift tent somewhere stiflingly hot and in unbearable pain. As soon as I was conscious enough to be able to speak to anyone, I discovered that I’d been found on the beach by some local villagers who thought I was dead. Luckily, when they’d tried to move me, I apparently groaned, so they sent for the local doctor, who patched me up and contacted the nearest army unit. Once I was capable of thinking, I got them to wire Jo.”

“Yes, I happened to be there when it arrived.”

“How is she?”

“She’s not great, but she’s up and about again, now.”

“What happened?”

“She fled when the telegram arrived saying you were dead. Luckily, Robin and Daisy were also home at the time and rang me as soon as they could.”

“How bad?”

“Bad enough to have to spend the last month on almost complete bedrest. She had managed to go a long way in a short space of time. When I caught up to her, she was practically collapsing. She was already under strict instructions not to do anything strenuous, but went to try and escape her imagination. Not that it helped, since the nightmares returned with a vengeance. I allowed her back up the other day, but she’s back down to eight hours and has been told that she’ll be re-admitted if she doesn’t take care.”

“I should be at home with her, not stuck in here.” He made to sit up, but dropped back when the room began to spin slightly.

“There’s nothing you can do, Jack. She’s got Robin and Daisy and the twins at home and really doesn’t need the worry you’ll provide when you do come home.”

“True. I’m not in any state to be at home either. I can’t even sit up for any length of time without the room spinning, yet.”

“Then you’re better off here for now. Concentrate on getting yourself better and I’ll keep an eye on Jo. She doesn’t know I’ve come by the way. I know she’d have wanted to come, too, and she isn’t fit enough for the journey down here.”

“I don’t want her to come. I’m happy to leave her in ignorance for now. As you say, she’ll be worried enough as it is. At least in a letter, she only knows what I tell her.”

“I’m happy to say nothing to her in that case. Do you know what they plan to do when you do get released from here?”

“I think they mean to release me from the army. I’ve been having headaches almost constantly since I came round. Occasionally, they turn into migraines, which are completely debilitating. They can’t risk that happening on duty as I can’t physically move when the migraines hit. I fractured my skull when whatever it was hit me, but until they remove the stitches, they won’t release me. Then I have to hope that a migraine doesn’t come on till I can make it back to Howells.”

“Ring me when you know they’re going to release you. I’ll come and collect you, rather than you having to get the train. Then if a migraine does come on, you won’t have to battle it at the same time.”

“Thanks. I’ll let you know as soon as I know.” The doctor returned at this point to usher Jem back out. He stood up and shook Jack’s hand.

“It’s good to see you. Take care of yourself.”

“I will.” Jack watched Jem depart with the doctor and then closed his eyes. He’d been fighting a headache the whole time Jem had been with him and was glad for the silence to descend once more. His head felt as if it was going to blow up any minute, and he could do nothing to stop it. The news about Jo was worrying as well. Jem had only told him the bare essentials and he knew there was more to it than that. He wished he could stop the headache, but it was worsening and he had the feeling a migraine was on it’s way. He dragged his eyes open to look for someone to give him more painkillers, but no one was about. He would have to just endure the pain for now.

Jem was escorted back to the main entrance to the hospital by the doctor. He enquired about when his friend would be fit enough to be released and was told that it would probably happen in two weeks. The stitches were due to be removed in the next few days and then they would assess him again a few days after that. Nothing was mentioned about migraines and Jem suspected that Jack hadn’t told them how serious they were. He hoped that Jack intended to see someone about them after he was released since he would be unable to return to work while they were so debilitating. 

Jem caught the bus back to Netley station and waited for a train to Southampton. Once there, he was disappointed to discover that he’d just missed a connecting train, so had over an hour to wait until the next one. It would be dark by then and Jem wondered if it was worth trying to get back that night. He didn’t particularly want to be stranded in Southampton since the city was a primary target for the Luftwaffe. He found a café and bought himself a drink and something to eat whilst he debated which would be the least dangerous. The weather had been drizzly all day where he was and the sky was cloudy. If that was the case, then it was less likely that there would be air raids. He decided to risk the train home. He needed to be at the Sanatorium the next day in any case and he didn’t fancy having to spend half the day in a train as well.

An announcement came over the tannoy announcing his train, so Jem quickly paid and went along to the platform. He was soon settled into a compartment and steaming back towards home.


	27. Chapter 27

The occupants of Jo’s cottage woke to snow swirling gently down from the sky on Christmas Eve. Jo just rolled over and went back to sleep. She’d had a poor night worrying about how Jack was doing since his last letter had contained nothing to reassure her. The rest of the household woke with exclamations and cheery greetings as they got ready. It would be a busy day for them, since they wanted everything to be perfect for the next day. Fiona poked her head into Jo’s room and saw that there was no movement from the bed, so she withdrew quietly and went to inform the others that Mrs Maynard was still asleep. They chattered quietly as they cleaned the house and tidied the lounge ready for the Christmas tree that Jem was bringing for them later that morning.

Jo had still not roused when Jem arrived around eleven o’clock. When he asked where she was, he was informed that she was still sleeping. He frowned at this news, knowing that Jo normally never slept through the morning and had little use for her bed unless she felt unwell. He decided to check she was all right whilst he was there.

Jem entered Jo’s room, just as she was stirring. He came over to the bed, concern on his face. Jo looked up and managed a weak smile.

“I didn’t expect you, Jem. What time is it?”

“It’s gone eleven. I thought you generally got up about ten.” Jo struggled up into a sitting position.

“Eleven? I didn’t realise it was so late.”

“It’s not like you to sleep in. Is something wrong?”

“No. I just didn’t sleep well last night.”

“What’s bothering you, Jo?”

“It’s Jack. I got a letter from him, yesterday. I’m sure there’s something he’s not telling me. I don’t know what it is, but he’s being very cagey about how he is.”

“Why don’t you ask him when you write?” Jem decided this was something in which he shouldn’t get involved. “You have his address now, so you can send him news of what’s happening here, which I’m sure he’ll be grateful to hear about. You can ask him what’s wrong at the same time.”

“I wish I could go and visit him. Southampton’s not that far.”

“No, Jo. You couldn’t make that journey alone and you’re only allowed eight hours up, remember. You’d have to take two days over it and it would tire you out. Plus, I don’t want you to spend the night in a city which is being bombed left, right and centre.”

“But, Jem…”

“No, Jo. I’m forbidding you on medical grounds, never mind the fact Jack probably wouldn’t appreciate you risking yourself unnecessarily.” Jo subsided. She knew that Jack would never allow her to risk the journey and an overnight stay in her current condition.

“I don’t want you to attend Midnight Mass either, this year. What time is the service in the morning?”

“It’s at ten o’clock.”

“Hmmm. You’ll be arriving at our house about twelve o’clock then?”

“Somewhere around that time. We’ll have to come back and collect Daisy, Flora and Fiona, as well as some bits and bobs.”

“I’ll get Marie to make sure the guest room is aired for you to use in the afternoon. You aren’t missing your rest. Then you’ll probably be coming back home not long after tea, since you won’t be able to stay up late.”

“Yes. Robin said she would drive us all. Isn’t Daisy staying over anyway?”

“As far as I know, she is. Primula was getting excited this morning at the prospect of sharing her room with her again.”

“Maybe we should have Primula to stay over here, sometimes. It must be hard for them, being separated all the time.”

“We’ll see about it in the New Year. The only reason you have Daisy at all is because she and Robin are quite close in age. It wouldn’t have been fair to leave Daisy alone with us when the rest of the nursery folk were so much younger. Primula was happy with us and had companions her own age.”

“I suppose so. I like having Daisy to live with us, though. She livens the place up with her chatter and breeziness.”

“I wouldn’t dream of moving her back to us. She’s happy and settled here. I’m sure she considers this home, even though she’s actually my niece.” Jem glanced at his watch. “I’ll leave you to get up. I have to fetch our tree, yet and I don’t think the small fry will appreciate me taking forever to take it back.” Jo laughed.

“No, I don’t think there’d be much left of you if you don’t get a move on.” Jo flung the covers back as she spoke and Jem moved off to the door.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Jo. Take care.”

“Bye, Jem.” She heard him run lightly downstairs before she went across to the bathroom to wash.

Jo arrived in the lounge just as Daisy was opening the box of Christmas decorations. Robin smiled at her adopted sister and suggested making a pot of tea before they started on the tree. Jo asked her to bring a few biscuits through as well. They would have lunch once they’d finished the decorations.

The five of them spent an enjoyable hour placing the decorations on the tree, until they were all arranged to everyone’s satisfaction. Once done, they stood back to admire their handiwork. Jo then suggested that they make some sandwiches since it was more than time and she was hungry.

After Jo had taken her rest, she went into the study to write to Jack. It was cold in there, so she turned on the electric fire, which was adequate for the small room. Normally, she would have joined the others in the lounge and wrote at the table, but she wanted to be alone to try and put her thoughts into order as she wrote. It wasn’t an easy letter for her to write and she wanted to make sure she articulated her worries clearly to him. Eventually, she finished and placed it in an envelope. Turning the fire back off, she went to join the others in the lounge and asked if someone would run to the postbox for her. Daisy offered and quickly wrapped up against the cold before taking the letter and disappearing.

After dinner, they all gathered around the Christmas tree and sang carols for a while. None of them were attending the midnight services, so they all departed to bed early, Robin and Daisy going up last after they’d transferred the presents from their hiding place to under the tree. The twins were excited, but were soon asleep and the others weren’t long in following their example.


	28. Chapter 28

Christmas was quickly over. Jo and the girls had spent an enjoyable time at the Round House, though Jo was relieved to get home and collapse into bed. She had forgotten how much effort it took to try and keep up with all her nieces and nephews. 

The next day was Boxing Day and when she woke, Jo still felt tired. Knowing how much energy she had used up the previous day, she resolved to spend the day at home resting. Robin could take Flora and Fiona back across to the Round House alone. She climbed out of bed and went slowly downstairs to the kitchen, where she collapsed into a chair at the table. Robin and the twins were eating breakfast, and Fiona promptly poured her a cup of tea. 

“Thanks, Fiona.” Jo took a few sips before she continued, “I think I’m going to stay here today and let you three go to the Round House alone.”

“I don’t blame you. You look exhausted,” Robin said.

“I am. I’m going back up to bed when I’ve had this. Will you pass my apologies on to Madge?”

“Of course. I’m sure she’ll understand. Would you like me to come back and keep you company?”

“No, thank you. I’m intending to go back to sleep. I don’t want to spoil your Boxing Day.”

“It wouldn’t. I’m happy to stay with you.”

“No. You go and enjoy yourself.”

“What are you going to have for lunch? There’s hardly any food left in the house,” Flora asked.

“I’m sure I’ll find something, Flora. We have plenty of bread and there’s some tins in the cupboard.” Jo drained her cup and held it out for a refill. “I’m going to take this back up to bed. Have a good day and I’ll see you when you arrive back this evening.” She disappeared back through the door and they heard her make her slow way back upstairs.

Once they had washed up, the three of them got into coats and shoes and prepared to depart. Robin ran up to tell Jo they were off, but she was already sound asleep. They left quietly and soon arrived at the Round House. Madge and Jem greeted them at the door.

“Where’s Jo?” asked Madge.

“She sends her apologies, and has gone back to bed. She looked exhausted when she came down this morning,” Robin explained as she removed her coat and hat. The twins had already gone on into the drawing room to be greeted by shouts from the others.

“The best place for her in that case,” Jem replied. “I’ll go round at lunchtime and see how she is. It was a long day yesterday and she had to deal with a lot of people all at once. I’m not really surprised she’s cried off today.” They went into the drawing room to join the others.

Jo spent all morning sleeping. When Jem let himself in just after one o’clock, she was just beginning to rouse. He ran lightly upstairs and poked his head around the door. Jo smiled sleepily at him and he withdrew to go and put the kettle on.

When Jem returned, Jo was sitting reading a book. She closed it and accepted the plate he held out to her. Once she’d finished, she handed the plate back to him and picked her tea up from the bedside cabinet.

“How are you feeling, Jo?”

“Much better, thanks. Yesterday took more energy than I thought.”

“I must say you seem better for more sleep. Robin said you looked exhausted this morning.”

“I was. That’s why I decided to stay here today. I knew there was no way I’d have coped with everyone again.”

“You were right. When I left, they were all indulging in a rather riotous game of Blind Man’s Bluff. I was glad to escape and your sister was trying desperately to think of an excuse to escape too.”

“I’m not surprised. I just hope she took the breakables with her, otherwise you’ll have none left.”

“Oh, they’re under strict instructions not to break anything, otherwise they’ll have to face Marie’s wrath as well as Madge’s.” Jo grinned. 

“I should think they’ll be careful, in that case. I know what Marie can be like when she gets going.”

“Yes, I do believe you managed to rouse her on occasion.”

“There wasn’t much left of me either, once she’d finished.”

“What do you plan to do this afternoon?”

“I was just planning to read and maybe write a letter.”

“What about dinner? You don’t have much food in the house.”

“I know. I’m sure there’s a tin of soup I can warm up in the cupboard”

“I’ll ask Marie to make something up for you, and the girls can bring it back with them. They’ll be leaving straight after dinner, so it won’t be late.”

“Thank you.”

“I’ll leave you in peace, then. I need to go over to the Sanatorium before I go back home. Are you planning to get up?”

“Yes.”

“I’ll build the fire up in the lounge for you.”

“Thanks, Jem. Thanks for coming over as well.” He smiled as he stood back up.

“My pleasure. Take care of yourself, Jo. I’ll see you in a few days.”

“Bye.” He disappeared through the door and Jo heard him going downstairs. She climbed out of bed and went to the bathroom to wash. As she crossed the landing back to her bedroom, she heard the front door closing and knew she was alone in the house once more.

Jo was sitting in the warmth of the lounge when she heard the front door bang, heralding the arrival of the others. Flora and Fiona came running into the room, and went to warm themselves at the fire. Robin went straight to the kitchen to put the plate she was carrying into the oven to heat through and turn the kettle on. Daisy was still over at the Round House and would be coming back the next day. 

“Hello, twins. Did you have a good day?”

“Yes, thank you,” they answered in unison.

“We played lots of games and Fiona beat Rix at Monopoly,” Flora added triumphantly.

“Oh, well done, Fiona. Not many people manage to beat him.”

“No, he was very grudging in his congratulations,” laughed Robin, who had entered in time to hear this. “He was most put out that he’d been beaten by a girl.”

“He won the other game we played, though,” Fiona said.

“He also fell over the footstool when we were playing Blind Man’s Bluff and gave himself a black eye,” giggled Flora. “Wasn’t he mad?”

“I can imagine,” Jo replied. “He’s always been one to fall over anything if it so much as looks at him.”

“Are you hungry, Jo? Marie has sent you a plateful of food and it should be warm, now.” Robin asked.

“That sounds lovely, Robin.”

“I’ll bring it through for you. It’s too cold for you to eat it in the kitchen. Twins, will you come and fetch the teapot and the things for the table, please?” The three of them departed, returning a minute or so later. Jo sat down to a hot meal and the others joined her at the table with cups of tea. When she had finished, they gathered round the fire for a short while before going upstairs to bed.


	29. Chapter 29

It was the beginning of January. Jo was sitting in the lounge reading, when the telephone rang. Sighing, she rose to go and answer it as she was alone in the house. Everyone else had gone over to the Round House for the morning, to give Jo some peace and quiet. She moved as fast as she could and was slightly breathless when she picked up the receiver.

“Hello?”

“Jo?”

“Jack! Oh, it’s so nice to hear your voice!” 

“It’s nice to hear you, too. I can’t stay on, though. I just rang to warn you that they’re going to release me in the next few days. I should be home by the end of the week.”

“That’s wonderful news! Will you be on the train? I’ll come and meet you.”

“I’m going to get a lift if I can. I’d rather you stayed where you are. How are you doing?”

“I’m all right. What about you?”

“I’m not great. I’ll explain once I’m home, though, so please don’t start worrying about me.”

“I can’t help worrying about you.”

“I know. I promise we’ll talk when I get back. Now, please can you give me Jem’s numbers, since I can’t remember them offhand?”

“Of course.” Jo told him Jem’s office number and the Round House number.

“Thanks Jo. I’ll see you in a few days, hopefully. I love you.”

“I love you, too. Keep safe.”

“I will.” Jack hung up. Jo slowly replaced the receiver and stared at it for a long time. She only moved when she shivered and realised she was still in the hall. Making her way back to the lounge, she went across to the fire to warm back up, before going back to her corner of the sofa. She picked her book up, but it didn’t hold her attention. She wondered what was wrong with Jack. She knew something was wrong, but she had no idea what. She fell to brooding, never hearing the front door opening and the others arriving back home. 

“We’re back! Oh, sorry, Auntie Jo! I didn’t mean to startle you!” Thus Daisy as she burst into the room.

“It’s all right, Daisy. I think I’ll survive.” Daisy came over to give Jo a hug. 

“Are you all right, Auntie Jo?”

“I’m fine. I was just thinking, that’s all. I have some news though. If you go and put the kettle on, I’ll tell you all while we have a cup of tea.”

“Okay. I won’t be long.” Daisy jumped up off the sofa and ran into the kitchen, where she found Robin already preparing the tea pot. “You’re a star, Robin. I’ll get the cups shall I?” She suited action to word and soon had the tray ready. Once Robin had filled the teapot, she picked the tray up and they both went back into the lounge. Flora and Fiona were both sitting in front of the fire, toasting muffins for everyone. Once they were all supplied, Jo spoke.

“I have some news.”

“Is Shiena coming for a visit?” asked Flora.

“No, I’m afraid not. She wouldn’t be able to get leave again so soon after coming for New Year.”

“Oh.” Flora tried not to show her disappointment, and Robin slipped her arm around the small girl.

“What’s your news if it isn’t that, then?” she asked.

“Jack rang. He’s being released from hospital in a few days and will be coming home.”

“Hooray!” Daisy jumped up and danced madly around the room.

“That’s wonderful news, Jo. Did he say when he’d get here?”

“He hoped to be back by the end of the week.” She turned to the twins. “You two will finally get to meet my husband.”

“That will be nice. You’ve missed him haven’t you?”

“I have, Fiona. I’m glad he’s coming back home safely. I think he’s still quite ill, though. Daisy, will you stop that mad dancing? You’re making me feel breathless just watching you.”

“I’m just excited, Auntie Jo,” Daisy replied as she flopped back onto the sofa next to Jo.

“You’ll have to calm down before Jack does get home. I don’t think he’ll be able to cope with you if you go off like that.”

“I will. I promise. Does Uncle Jem know?”

“I’m sure he does since Jack rang me to ask for his numbers.” The sound of the telephone cut through their chatter. Daisy dived up to go and answer it. She re-appeared a minute later.

“It’s for you, Auntie Jo.”

“Who is it?”

“Uncle Jem.”

“Okay, I’m coming.” Jo heaved herself off the sofa and went into the hall to speak to her brother-in-law. “Hello, Jem.”

“I’ve just had a phone call from Jack.”

“Yes. He rang me to ask for your number.”

“He’s being released on Thursday. I’m going to go and fetch him.”

“Thursday? That’s wonderful. May I come?”

“No, Jo, it’s too long a journey. You’ll be better at home to welcome him. I’m hoping to make it both ways on Thursday if I possibly can. It all depends on how Jack is, though. Don’t be surprised if we have to stop overnight somewhere along the way.”

“How bad is he, Jem?”

“He’s had a pretty bad head injury. He really shouldn’t be coming home, yet but, they need the bed, so he’s being released into the care of the Sanatorium.”

“Just bring him back safely.”

“I will. I’ll ring you when we get to Armiford, so you can get the bed ready for him. He’ll need to rest when we arrive.”

“Thank you for offering to fetch him.”

“It’s the least I can do. I have to get off, now. I’m at the Sanatorium and someone is calling me. Take care of yourself, Jo.”

“I will. Bye, Jem.” She put the receiver back on the cradle and went back into the lounge. Announcing that she was going upstairs to rest, she left the girls alone and sought her bed and the quiet she needed to try and sort her thoughts out.


	30. Chapter 30

Thursday found Jo awake early. She was unable to sleep any longer, but knew that she should try and rest as much as possible. Picking the rosary up from the bedside cabinet, she lay facing Jack’s side of the bed. Hopefully, by this evening, he would be lying beside her once more. 

Jo dozed back off and never heard Robin coming in to check on her. She withdrew silently and warned the others to be quiet.

“She needs the rest, otherwise she won’t be in any state to welcome Jack back home.”

“The weather seems to be holding for now, how about we go for a walk?” suggested Daisy.

“Yes, we could get a few bits from the village whilst we’re out. Twins go and wrap up warm.” Flora and Fiona went to get warm jumpers and were soon putting on their boots. Once everyone was ready, they set off, Robin locking the door behind them.

When Jo awoke again, she found the house to be unnaturally quiet. Glancing at the clock, she saw that it was half past ten.

“Where is everyone?” she wondered aloud. Climbing out of bed, she washed and dressed, and then went downstairs to the kitchen. She discovered a note from Robin on the table informing her that they had all gone out for a walk and would be back in time for lunch. Relived that she had the cottage to herself for a while, Jo made herself a drink and went into the lounge.

Having found she couldn’t settle to reading, Jo turned the radio on, but then turned it back off five minutes later. She needed to do something, but she didn’t know what. Since Jem had forbidden her to go walking, she began to pace the length of the room, hoping to tire herself enough to be able to sleep again after lunch. She wondered if Jem had reached Southampton and collected Jack from the hospital. She had no way of knowing what was happening and she felt frustrated by the fact that she had been unable to go along. Luckily, before she had managed more than a few lengths of the room, the front door opened to admit the others.

Jo went into the hall to greet them, helping the twins to remove their coats. She then sent them through to the lounge to warm up whilst she crossed to the kitchen to put the kettle on and make some sandwiches. Daisy came in to help her and they were soon carrying a plate of sandwiches and the teapot into the lounge. Between them the plate was soon empty and Flora and Robin went to wash up whilst Fiona cleared the table.

When Jo came down after her rest, the girls were just setting up a game of Monopoly, which Jo decided to join. They threw to see who would go first and the game started.

They were halfway through when the telephone rang. Fiona went to answer it as she was nearest the door. She returned a minute later.

“It’s Dr Jem for you, Mrs Maynard.”

“Thank you, Fiona. While I think about it, it seems silly for you two to call me Mrs Maynard when you’re living with me. How about you follow Daisy’s example and call me Auntie Jo?”

“Are you sure?” Flora asked.

“Of course I’m sure. I would ask you to if I wasn’t.”

“That would be lovely. Thank you Auntie Jo,” Fiona replied. 

“That’s settled, then. I won’t be a minute.” Jo disappeared to pick the receiver up from the side of the telephone. “Hello, Jem.”

“Jo? I’m just letting you know that we’re nearly at Armiford. We should be home in about an hour’s time.”

“An hour? Okay.”

“Jack’s going to need to go straight to bed when we get there. Can you make sure the room is warm and the bed’s ready?”

“Of course. I’ll see you in an hour.” Jo hung up and returned to the lounge. “Jack and Jem are going to be here in an hour.”

“An hour? I’d forgotten he was coming back today,” Daisy exclaimed.

“Yes. Will someone give me a hand to make a fire up in my bedroom, please?” 

“I’ll do it,” Robin answered.

“Thanks Robin. Twins, will one of you go and turn the kettle on and one of you find out the hot water bottles?” The small girls jumped up and ran off to do her bidding.

“Daisy, will you keep an eye on the twins and help them fill the bottles, please?”

“Of course I will.” Daisy danced out of the room and Jo started upstairs to help Robin. When she reached her bedroom, she found the fire was laid. Jo handed Robin a box of matches from the mantelpiece and soon it was blazing. 

“I’ll go and fetch some wood from the shed for you. There isn’t much up here since we don’t normally light fires in the bedrooms.”

“Get Daisy to help you. If the twins have filled the bottles, you might send them up with them.” Robin went off whilst Jo made sure the bed was straight and the room was reasonably tidy. A few minutes later, Flora and Fiona arrived with the hot water bottles and Jo positioned them under the covers. Having done all she could, she went back down to the lounge to wait.

Once everyone was back in the warmth, they resumed their game, though Jo was soon made bankrupt and had to drop out. She went off to the kitchen to put the kettle on for a drink. Just as she was about to pour the water into the teapot, she heard the front door open. Dropping the kettle and ignoring the water which spilled out, she practically ran into the hall. 

There, she saw the sight she had longed for most in the past few months. Jack walked slowly in through the door. He was a lot thinner and his head was still heavily bandaged, but he was still the person she loved most in the world. She crossed the hall to where he stood and they enveloped each other in a hug. Jem slipped into the lounge unnoticed, allowing them to have a few moments without interruption. He was greeted enthusiastically by Daisy, though he stopped her from diving out into the hall to greet Jack.

“No, Daisy. Let them have some time alone, first.”

“But I want see him, too.”

“You’ll have plenty of opportunities to see him now he’s home. Just calm down and wait your turn.” Daisy subsided and went to help tidy the Monopoly game away. 

In the hall, Jo and Jack stood holding each other closely. Tears weren’t far away for either of them. Eventually, Jack pulled back slightly and looked down at his wife.

“I’m so glad to see you, Joey.”

“Me, too. I don't know how I’ve got through these last few months.”

“Has it been bad?”

“It’s not been great. Let’s not talk about it, now.”

“Let me look at you, Jo.” He held her at arm’s length for a minute before pulling her back to him. 

“Well?”

“Shhh. I’m just allowing my mental image to adjust the size of your bump.” Jo laughed.

“It is quite large. It’s getting harder to find a comfortable position, now.”

“I can imagine. Let’s go and see the others. I need to sit down before I fall.” He grabbed the wall for support.

“Are you all right, Jack?”

“I’ll be fine. I just need to sit down.”

“Wouldn’t you be better going straight to bed? The others can wait until tomorrow.”

“After the noise I heard from Daisy, just now? I think she’ll be most annoyed if I didn’t say hello.”

“Come on then. You have to meet the twins as well.” He took her arm and together they entered the lounge. Daisy came bounding across the room to hug them both.

“It’s good to see you Uncle Jack!” Jack returned the hug.

“It’s good to see you, too, Daisy-girl. You’ve grown again! Do you ever intend to stop?”

“I hope so. I’ve nearly grown out of all my clothes.”

“Come and sit down, Jack,” Jo interjected. “Daisy, why don’t you go and finish making the tea. I should think the water has cooled again by now.” Daisy ran off to do her bidding as Jo led Jack to the chair by the fire. He sank thankfully into it, shaking his head imperceptibly at Jem. The older man understood the signal and said nothing. Robin came over in her turn to greet him and then Jo called the twins across.

“These are Flora and Fiona McDonald, Jack.”

“Pleased to meet you, girls. Tell me which one of you is which.”

“I’m Fiona,” replied the owner of the name, shyly. “It’s very nice to meet you. Mrs Maynard has told us all about you.”

“I thought I’d told you just this afternoon to call me Auntie Jo, now, Fiona?” Fiona looked embarrassed and had nothing to say.

“Jo, Jo, if you only gave them leave this afternoon, the poor girl’s going to take time to adjust to it,” Jack laughed. “Don’t worry, Fiona. You’ll get used to her in time. It’s taken me long enough.” He smiled at her and the small girl was won over. Daisy arrived with the tea tray and poured everyone a drink as she chattered happily away.

When he had finished his cupful, Jack knew he needed to get to bed. The room was beginning to spin and his head was aching badly. He made it into the hall before he had to grab onto the bannister for support. Jem had followed him out, motioning for Jo to stay where she was for now. 

“Jack?”

“I’ll be all right in a minute.” Jack rested his head on his arm and closed his eyes against the pain. Jem waited, realising the younger man was unable to move until the pain had subsided slightly. After a few minutes, Jack lifted his head and slowly climbed the stairs, hanging onto the bannister for support. He was relieved to make it to the bedroom and be able to collapse onto the bed. Jem had followed him to see he was all right. 

“Do you have some painkillers you can take?”

“Yes. The doctor at the hospital gave me some. They’re in my coat pocket.”

“I’ll go and fetch them while you get yourself under the covers.” Jem disappeared to find the bottle and Jack managed to change into his pyjamas and crawled into bed. The room was in darkness save for the fire in the grate, and he was thankful for it. When Jem came back with the bottle, he shook two tablets out and swallowed them.

“You’d better send Jo up before she starts worrying.”

“I will. Can you manage?”

“Yes. I just want a word with Jo and then I intend to try and sleep for a while.”

“I’ll get off in that case. Look after yourself. I’ll get one of the specialists to come over tomorrow to finish the transfer of care.”

“Thanks, Jem. Don’t send him too early.”

“I won’t. I’ll see you soon.” Jem left and went downstairs to send Jo up.


	31. Chapter 31

It was midnight and Jack lay quietly in the dark room listening to the regular breathing of Jo as she slumbered beside him. He was unable to sleep, but didn’t think he could get up without waking her. He was glad to be back home and surrounded by his family and friends once more. Massaging his temples, he hoped it would ease the constant headache he had. He turned over to face the middle of the bed. Looking at Jo’s sleeping form, he gently stroked his hand down her cheek, glad to be able to touch her. To his surprise, her eyes opened and she sleepily smiled at him.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you,” he murmured, but Jo just chuckled.

“You’ve just found out my secret wake-up call from school.”

“Have I? I didn’t know you had one.”

“I wasn’t a perfect angel, you know.” It was Jack’s turn to chuckle.

“Don’t I know it. I generally heard about some mad exploit of yours every time I had to go down there.”

“That’s slander on my good name. I was never quite that bad.”

“Oh, I don’t know. You did cause a few white hairs even before you married me.” Jack smiled at her. He felt her body tense slightly. “What’s wrong?” 

“Nothing. Here, feel this.” She grabbed his hand and placed it on her bump. They waited a minute or two, and then Jack felt the slight movement as the baby kicked out. He smiled again and moved closer to kiss her.

“How much longer do we have to wait?”

“Another six weeks.”

“Not long then. I can’t wait to meet him.”

“It might be a girl.”

“I’d say a boy from that kick. It was certainly a good one.”

“Well, I wish he’d stop using me for a punch bag.”

“He won’t have much room in there, now. You don’t have long to wait and then he won’t be kicking you from the inside anymore.”

“That’s not much help to me, now.” Jo’s tone changed and she grew serious. “Jack?”

“Mmm?”

“Why didn’t you tell me the risks we were taking having this baby?” Jack closed his eyes and rubbed his temples again, giving himself time to think. 

“I didn’t want to panic you. I knew that if you realised the risks you’d have been unable to stop yourself from worrying and that wouldn’t have been good for either you or the baby. You’d have lost your appetite and would have been unable to get the rest you needed. I assume Jem told you what they are?”

“Yes. He had to after I’d managed to land myself back in bed a couple of months ago.” Jo went on to explain what had happened when Elisaveta arrived. Jack sighed and pulled her closer to him. 

“You couldn’t have turned Elisaveta away, Jo. It’s not in your nature. You did the best you could for her and I’m sure she appreciated that. Jem was right, we have taken risks, but I think they’ll be worth it in the end.”

“I hope so. I’m finding everything is harder to do and makes me tired and breathless much quicker,” Jo replied, smothering a yawn.

“Go back to sleep, Jo. We can talk more in the morning.”

“I’m glad you’re home, Jack. I’ve missed you being here with me and being able to talk to you.”

“I missed you, too. Hopefully, I won’t be leaving you again, either.”

“I hope not. I love you.”

“I love you, too, Jo Maynard.” He kissed her and Jo rolled over to face away from him. Jack moved up behind her and wrapped his arm around her. He felt the baby kick again. “It’s definitely going to be a boy,” he murmured. Jo just chuckled and they both slept once more.


	32. Chapter 32

Two days later, Jack found that his constant headaches were beginning to lessen in intensity. The quiet of the cottage combined with being back in familiar surroundings helped him to relax more. He had spent most of the time sleeping, something he had struggled to do in the hospital when people were continually moving around him. He had spoken to the specialist from the Sanatorium and had been told that he could expect the persistent headaches to last another couple of weeks. The migraines might recur over a longer period, but wouldn’t be quite as debilitating as they had been. He was due to go before the army medical board in a week’s time and he hoped that they were going to discharge him. He was still unable to drive, so Jem had offered him a lift. 

Jack was sitting up in bed when Jo came into the room with a drink for them both. She handed him his and put her own on the bedside cabinet before sitting on the bed next to him. Jack noticed her breathing was slightly laboured. 

“Are you all right, Jo?”

“Yes. Those stairs are getting harder to climb, that’s all.”

“Try to rest more. I’m sure the girls will happily help out if you’d let them.”

“I can’t keep putting things onto them. They already do more than enough for me.”

“What did Jem say at your last appointment?”

“He reduced my time up back to eight hours with two hours rest after lunch. I’m having monthly X-rays as well.”

“Eight hours? What happened, Jo?”

“A telegram saying you were dead.” Jack could guess the rest.

“So you fled and made yourself worse.” 

“Yes.”

“I take it he reduced you back to eight hours as a consequence of that?”

“He said it was to stop me from overdoing things and getting too breathless.”

“You’re still overdoing things. Coming up and down those stairs every two minutes isn’t helping. Stay here and keep me company for a while.”

“I have things to doý though.”

“They can wait. I’m bored of my own company and I want to spend some time alone with you for a change.” Jo sighed. She was tired, but was loath to admit it. Jack suspected this and was determined to try and stop her from getting carried away. He slid down the bed, so he was lying down and held his arms open to her. Jo snuggled down into them, laying her head on his chest. He stroked her hair away from her face tucking it behind her ear. He stayed silent, allowing the warmth and relative dimness of the room to calm her. Eventually, her breathing became more regular and he knew she was sleeping. 

As he lay there, with Jo asleep in his arms, he realised that she was unlikely to reach the end of her pregnancy without being re-admitted. He appreciated Jem’s efforts to try and keep her at home as long as possible. He knew he had to get himself back up and about so he could try and reduce the burden of responsibility on her. At least when school started at the end of January, the twins would be boarding and would only come back for odd weekends. Robin and Daisy looked after themselves and provided company for her, so he wasn’t as worried about them being around. Jack closed his eyes and dozed. 

When he woke again, Jo had disappeared. He pulled himself upright and saw her curled up in a chair by the fire. She was staring into the flames, not noticing her surroundings. Jack climbed out of bed and went over to where she was sitting. He reached the other chair and collapsed into it. As he placed his hand on her arm, he saw the tearstains on her face. 

“Jo? Tell me what’s bothering you.”

“I don’t think I can do this, Jack. I don’t think I can cope with it all. I couldn’t manage to look after Elisaveta and her baby for two days. How am I going to manage to look after this baby as well as you, the twins and Robin and Daisy?”

“Of course you’ll manage, Jo. Robin, Daisy and I don’t need looking after. The twins will be at school most of the time, so that leaves you to concentrate on the baby.”

“They still need support and guidance. They’re only eleven and have been thrust into a completely different world to the one they’ve been used to all their lives. I’ve neglected them woefully as well and I’m supposed to be their guardian.”

“No, you haven’t neglected them. They seem to be two very level-headed little girls who think the world of you. Whilst they’re at school, they’re the responsibility of Hilda and Nell and their form mistress.”

“But I could have helped them more last term. I should have had them home for the weekend more often than I did.”

“They’ll have been happier at school, where they had friends their own age to play with, rather than spending the weekend here. I’m sure you preferred to be with friends than stuck at home with adults, at that age.”

“When I was eleven I spent the best part of the year confined to my bed with various illnesses and ailments.”

“Hmm, yes, maybe you aren’t the best example of a normal eleven year old. I know when Mollie and I were eleven, we much preferred to be outside with our friends than stuck at home with our parents.”

“That still leaves Robin, Daisy and you to look after.”

“I’ve told you, Robin and Daisy and I are capable of looking after ourselves. In fact Robin and Daisy have been doing that for the past couple of years, now. They’re most responsible young ladies and are technically under Jem’s and Madge’s guardianship. They just happen to make their home with us as space is at a premium at the Round House.”

“They still need helping sometimes.”

“Not as much as you think. Robin is eighteen, now and Daisy is sixteen in a couple of months. They’ve both taken on more responsibility and are thriving on it.”

“That still leaves you.”

“I’m also capable of looking after myself.”

“You’ve just come home with your head in bandages and have spent the last two days in bed.”

“I admit that I might not be at my best this minute, but I know it’s only temporary. I’ll be back up and about in the next week or so.”

“You aren’t to go rushing back up, just for me. You’re worse than you’re letting on. I’ll manage somehow. I just have moments when I find everything is getting on top of me and I don’t know how to deal with it.”

“It isn’t just a moment, is it, though? You’ve been bottling everything up and trying to carry on as if nothing’s wrong. I’m home now and I want to help you with the responsibilities you’ve taken on. You’re right, I’m not feeling great at the minute, but I know this constant headache I have is going to recede eventually.”

“It should be me looking after you, not the other way around.”

“Jo, you’re almost eight months pregnant and not in the best of health. You need to stop worrying about other people and concentrate on yourself, now. Stop trying to do everything and rest more. You can’t keep on like you are doing, or you’ll end up collapsing.”

“I just want everything to be perfect.”

“Everything is perfect, Jo. You just have to concentrate on bringing our baby safely into the world and keeping yourself healthy.”

“I’ll try, Jack.”

“Good.” Jack leaned over and drew Jo in for a kiss. A tap came on the door and Jo called out. Flora came shyly into the room bearing a tray. 

“Robin thought you’d both like to eat lunch up here.”

“Thank you, Flora, it’s very kind of you to bring it up for us,” Jack smiled as she placed the tray on the dressing table.

“It’s no trouble, Dr Maynard.”

“Dr Jack if you please. I don’t like being so formal when you’re living under the same roof as me.”

“But we’ve only just met you!”

“That makes no difference. You live here as much as I do.” Flora subsided and Jack grinned at her. He liked what he’d seen of the twins so far and was looking forward to getting to know them now he was home. 

“Thank Robin for sending the tray up, Flora,” Jo said as she hauled herself out of her chair. The small girl nodded and made her escape. Jo went over to the tray and picked up the plates. Handing one to Jack, she sank back down again and they began to eat in silence. Jack saw that Jo didn’t finish hers, but said nothing. He knew she was still recovering from all that had happened over the past few months and it would take time for her appetite to return to normal. Once they’d finished, Jo replaced the plates and then picked the tray up. Jack stopped her.

“What are you doing, Jo?”

“I’m just going to take the tray back down and see what everyone is up to before I have my rest.”

“You’ll do no such thing. Put the tray back down. Someone will come and fetch it for you.”

“I can’t rely on them to do everything for me. I won’t be long.”

“Jo, did you listen to anything I said earlier?” Jack stood up too quickly and brought about his own undoing as the room began to spin and he dropped to his knees. It stopped Jo in her tracks. She replaced the tray and moved over to him.

“Jack? What’s wrong?” He didn’t answer immediately, which worried Jo even more. “Jack? Please? Speak to me.” Jo placed her hand on his arm. He managed to move his hand to squeeze it, hoping she understood. She stayed holding his hand, until he finally felt safe enough to lift his head. Jo saw the lines on his face and saw he was struggling to fight the pain.

“Come back to bed, Jack.” She moved as if to try and help him stand.

“No, Jo. Give me a few more minutes and I’ll be able to move. You can’t help me up.” Jo subsided and retreated to the other chair to wait. Jack waited until he was sure the room was no longer spinning before slowly getting to his feet. He swayed slightly, and grabbed the chair for support, sitting in it once more. He realised he’d have to move in stages. He glanced up to see the worry etched on Jo’s face and hastened to try and reassure her.

“I’ll be fine again, soon. I just went dizzy because I stood up too quickly.” 

“You’re trying to do too much.”

“I think that’s a case of the pot calling the kettle black, Jo. I stood up to try and stop you doing too much.”

“I suppose it is. You’ve just confirmed that you aren’t as well as you claim to be, though.”

“I’ll manage, Jo. I promise not to rush things. I felt fine until I tried to stop you, so I am improving. Let’s get both of us into bed for some rest for the next couple of hours.”

“Are you sure you can get there?”

“I’m sure. I just need to take it slowly, that’s all.” He managed to stand up and, after steadying himself on the chair, walked back to the bed. Jo watched him. He sat down on the edge of the bed and smiled across at her. “See? Your turn, now.” Jo made her own way across the room and they both climbed into bed.

“I still worry, Jack. I can’t help it after you’ve been on the brink of death.”

“I know. I’m home, though. Hopefully, I won’t be going back to war.”

“I hope not. I don’t think I could let you go again. Not after what happened last time.”

“It’s over, now, Jo. Let’s not think about the past. Let’s look to the future.” They curled up together and the quietness lulled them both to sleep.


End file.
